The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish
by regertz
Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…
1. Chapter 1

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

Prologue:

"One fine day, I chanced to stray

On a little side street in old Bombay

And met a sentimental oriental

She saw me and I saw she

Had a manner too bold and much too free

Her eyes were positively detrimental

When I asked about this gay coquette

I discovered much to my regret...

She's the girl friend of the whirling dervish

She's the sweetest one he's found

But ev'ry night, in the mellow moonlight

When he's out dervishing with all his might

She gives him the run-around

All the boy friends of the whirling dervish

Are his best friends to his face

But there's no doubt, when he isn't about

They all come hurrying to take her out

She leads him a dizzy pace

He dreams of a Hindu honeymoon

He doesn't dream that ev'ry night when he goes out

To make an honest rupee

She steps out to make a lotta whoopee

Oh, the love song of the whirling dervish

Has a sweet and tender sound

But will he burn if he ever should learn

That while he's doing her a real good turn

She gives him the runaround

She's got a nervish, throwin' him a curvish

Which, of course, he doesn't deservish

Poor old whirling dervish!"

Chancellory of the First Deputy Prime Minister, Kingdom of Drharain…

"Gentlemen…" the DPM eyed his guests…Two Americans…One, a middle aged sliver haired lean and handsome fellow, elegantly attired in three-piece suit…The other an older, balding fellow in his seventies, in somewhat less elegant business suit, nervously eyeing the DPM…

"I trust you understand the gravity of the situation…Mr. Stirling?..." he addressed the silver-haired fellow… "Can you inform us as to the opinion of your organization?..."

Warm if wry smile… "Well, sir…Speaking for the State Department in my rather junior post as assistant consul…Of course we can't really take an opinion on such a matter…Americans can't be legally bound to such arrangements even by their employers…Which is a hell of a shame, I agree…"

"I was hoping to hear from your other organization, Mr. Stirling…If I may be so bold…"

"My other organization, Mr. Minister?..."

"Mr. Stirlling…" frown… "Surely there's no need to be coy here…I mean, quite frankly, your CIA superiors…"

The bald man squirmed a bit in his chair…But Stirling merely smiled…

"Officially, sir…I've no idea what you could mean by that…"

"And unofficially?..." the DPM eyed him…

"I've no idea what you mean by that…" Stirling smiled again… "Though of course I'm sure Drharain's interests are the United States' government's interests…"

"I'm very glad to hear it…" returned smile…

"All this is very well…" The balding man sat up… "But if I may interject…My firm has serious reservations about seeing this matter persued…We at Stirling, Cooper, Draper, Price, Campbell, and Olsen have handed Drharain's public relations for forty years and this matter is not conducive to good PR…Under any light…"

"Really, Campbell?..." Stirling eyed him… "I should think a romance like this would win the hearts of all those mindless idiots who swallow crap whole…My dad would've, God rest his soul, jumped on this one…And I doubt Draper will fail to see the possibilities here…"

"Possibilities?..." Campbell frowned… "An arranged marriage in exchange for laboratory grant funding?...With the contract now called in by the heir to the throne of Drharain?...And at the price of the client having to renounce her engagement to a fellow American?...What 'possibilities' ?,,,An indictment of the royal house of Drharain as engaging in human traffficing…They're a branch of the Saudi royal family I might remind you…And I'm sure your 'other employer' is not going to be pleased to see them dragged through the US and international press…"

"I assume you mean the foreign affairs journals I occasionally contribute to, with State's permission…As to the bad press, Campbell…" Stirling smiled… "That is your firm's responsibility…If my dad were still with you, I'd no doubt he'd insist you play up the romance angle…Handsome young prince in love with an American girl of his dreams, seeking to sweep her off her feet when another rival shows…Who is the little geek, anyway?..."

"A Dr. Cooper…Sheldon L. Cooper…" the DPM frowned… "A respected physicist…"

We give you people 60% of our oil at cut rates and you can't even keep track of a few important details?...

"An American, born and bred in East Texas…Yeah, the public will love seeing a wealthy Arabian shiek run off with his girl…" Campbell sighed…

"Who's implying any use of coercion…?" Stirling frowned… "She dumps the Texan geek…A physicist from Texas?...Who'll believe that?...For the guy of her dreams whom she never imagined would really come for her…With 200 billion to sweeten the deal…"

"But…I've explained that the woman has not responded to our requests for information as to her plans except for this…" the DPM handled a sheet of paper…

"Hmmn…'Dear sir…' Stirling read aloud…

"I felt it only right to inform your embassy that I will be marrying shortly in case you should wish to have it publicly acknowledged that I relieve you of your formal commitments to me, made during the course of the past ten years under Kingdom of Drharain grants H703A105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110.

Yours truly,

Amy Farrah Fowler, Ph.D.

(future married lady! Amy Farrah Fowler-Cooper)"

"Quite a neat brush-off to the guy who gave her 10 million bucks…" Stirling nodded at the letter… "But dames are like that…"

"Can't we just write this off…?" Campbell sighed… "She met all other terms of the grants, as to publication credit and all that, right?...No American court will allow this as a marriage contract…"

"Mr. Campbell…" the DPM sighed… "If the matter were up to me…We would not be having this conversation…But the heir and Prime Minister is not willing to 'write Miss Fowler off'…And he may, as you know, become King at any time now, given His Majesty's condition…"

"He never should have stayed at the party last week…" Stirling shook his head… "I told him two bottles of champagne and a fifty course dinner was pushing it…But to throw fifty sets of twins into the mix…Even Dad could only handle one…"

"The Prince is an educated man…" Campbell shook his head… "He can't really believe he can make this woman marry him…?"

"His Highness has had a very full education here and abroad…He holds two doctorates and two Masters' degrees in Political Science, Biology, Economics, and Engineering….And he has dreamed of having his beautiful, witty, sophisticated American genius wife beside him on the throne for ten years…Only awaiting his father's demise to buck the family and marry the girl…And now…He's no intention of gracefully bowing out…"

"She must be quite a dame…" Stirling pondered…

"You haven't seen her CIA file?..." the DPM eyed him…Stirling playfully wagging a finger…Now, now…

"We've a file on her at SCDPCO…" Campbell sighed… "Have a gander…" he handed a file to Stirling…

"Jesus…" Stirling pulled back from the open file… "It's the Wicked Witch of the West…"

"Yes, that is our nickname for her…" the DPM sighed… "But the Prince is determined that she will be Queen of Drharain…Willingly or not…"

"Oh, come on…" Campbell frowned… "Surely he's not that delusional…"

"Campbell…Get lost for five…Or rather, ten…" Stirling said, quietly but firmly…"See if you can come up with a few ideas for Draper on the wonderful romantic campaign you people are going to run around the Arab prince and his American…Geesh…Beauty rose…"

"What?..."

"Scoot, Pete…Now…" Stirling pointed to the door…

"We will continue our discussion with you in a few moments, Mr. Campbell…" the DPM, catching on… "I'm sure you'll want to speak to your office to get some information regarding the campaign the assistant consul suggests…"

Uh-boy…Campbell sighed…Rising reluctantly…Stirling smiling at him… "By the way, Rochester, you might bring that bottle of Jim Bean back with you…In a traveling bag so as not to offend our other hosts outside…I think a toast will be called for…"

Oh, Lord…Campbell went out the door… No, I do not want to know and neither will Draper…

"Ok…" Stirling eyed the DPM…

"Mr. Stirling?..."

"You heard me…" smile…

"Excellent…" the DPM returned smile…


	2. Chapter 2

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

Part I…

Amtrack rail, Chicago, Illnois to Boston, Massachusetts, Lake Shore Limited…

Silken hair flowing to side…Nimble fingers on the strings…

"Went down to the station,

Leaned against the door.

Went down to the station,

I...leaned against the door.

I knew it was the Empire State,

Can tell by the way…She blows. (woo-woo!)

Asked the depot agent,

'Please let me ride the blinds.'

Yes, asked the depot agent,

'Please let me ride the blinds.'

He said, 'Girl, I like to help you...you know,

But the Empire State ain't mine'.

The Empire State...you know she,

Rides on Eastern time.

The Empire State,

She rides on Eastern time,

She's the 'rollingest' baby, (woo-woo)

On the New York Central line…"

"Oh, my God!…" Penny, clapping with the rest from her seat next to a beaming Leonard… "Amy?...That was terrific!…"

"Great job, Amy!..." Leonard chimed in…Raj, not yet fortified, beaming and nodding…Raising bottle of Diet Coke in tribute…

Stuart, nodding…Somewhat forced smile…

My God, Cooper…You better earn this…

"Yeah, Amy…!" Bernadette applauded… "That's terrific…" Howard, clapping...

"Woo-woo…" Sheldon noted…Beaming at the group from his spot beside Amy and her harp…

"Thanks all…It was a bit of a job adapting to jazz harp…" Amy nodded… "But my honey rated a few train songs…After jumping off several buildings for love of me…"

"Anytime…" Sheldon nodded… "I've added it as an addendum to the Marital Agreement…"

"Yes, yes…" Leonard hissed to Penny's stare… "If push ever come to shove and one of your sisters…"

"No sisters…" Penny, tersely…

"Well…A cousin who finds me attractive…"

Giggle… "Yeah, right…"

"Priya…Jilted by her new guy and bent on revenge on you and winning me back to hurt you…"

"Good call…" Penny nodded… "But just a few feet…Or with a secure harness thingy…Sheldon didn't actually jump, after all…"

"Thanks…"

"Hey, I'm not asking for miracles here…" grin….

Kingdom of Drharain…Office of the Prime Minister…

(and heir…)

"Your Highness?..."

"Yes?..." a bespectacled, short…Ok, the image of Leonard Hofstadter in turban and flowing Lawrence of Arabia robes…Figure eyed the First Deputy Prime Minister in his tailored Western suit from behind a massive…Hitler's Chancellery-style desk…

"I've spoken to our CIA contact, Mr. Stirling…All will be done as you command…Highness…" bow…

"Great…B ut…" wave of hand… "I don't want Amy under any pressure…Just wanna make my case, fair and square, you know…?"

"Of course, Highness…" bow…

"Oh, God…Look at her…" click of mouse…Producing image of Amy Farrah Fowler in all her radiant glory…

"Isn't she the most beautiful thing on this planet?..." sigh…

Uh… "Certainly , Your Highness…"

"And what a queen she'll make…if she consents, of course…"

"I've no doubt once the lady is made aware of your Highness' feelings for her she will eagerly consent…"

"I dunno…" sigh…Click to reveal image of Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D….. "This Cooper guy is quite a fellow…On track, excepting his little North Pole fiasco…To win a Nobel…"

"A minor matter, if you wish one yourself, Highness…" shrug…

"I'd want to earn it, Hamid…"

"And you would, Highness…With the help of our crack team of international researchers…"

"Cooper doesn't have a 'crack team', Hamid…"

"Doesn't he, Highness?...Surely he has the support of a great American university…His band of friends…You are hardly being unfair to use all your resources to compete with him…"

"Really?..." stare… "Well, if you think so?...But I gotta choose the direction of the research and do my share of the work…"

"Naturally, your Highness…"

"How's Dad, by the way…?"

"Not so good, Highness…Our medical team despairs of his recovery…"

"Oh…" sad look… "Poor Dad…He really should've cut back on the twins…"

"He was always a man of vigorous appetite, Highness…He would not have had it any other way…."

"I guess so…" sigh… "But he does have the best, right?..."

"Absolutely, your Highness…The finest from around the world…"

"Good…I'll be by to see him lin a jiffy…If it's ok?..."

"I'm sure his departing soul would appreciate the gesture…"

Stare…

"Sorry, Highness…But you must prepare yourself for the inevitable…."

"Yeah…I guess so…But it would be so much easier if I know Amy will be beside me as my Queen…"

"We are working tirelessly to achieve it, Highness…"

"Maybe if I just emailed her…?"

"I hardly think so, Highness…The lady might find it necessary to take offense…You know American women, Highness…"

"Wish I did…Especially one…" sigh… "Well, I leave it in your hands, Hamid…"

"Thank you, Highness…" bow…

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

Part II…

"So…Are we agreed, Rajesh?..." winsome smile, brush of silken hair…

"No…We are not…" Raj, nervously backing in his club car seat, gulping sip of grasshopper… "You're insane, Charlotte…"

"Now…Rajesh…It's such a simple solution…" grin… "I kill Howard, you kill Amy…Result…Mutual satisfaction, I win my Sheldon, you, your Bernadette…And who would ever suspect, our switching murders like that…?"

"You said you were over Sheldon…And what makes you think I would even consider killing that sweet girl…Even for my own benefit with Bernadette?..."

"It is your fantasy, Rajesh…" grin…Chuckling turning into cackle…Charlotte's elegant blue dress and pearls transforming into Wicked Witch's costume… "Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!...See you in your darkest fantasies, Raj!..."

Whoa…Raj, awake in his train seat…Staring…

"Raj?..." Howard, seated next to him… "You ok, buddy…?"

"Hmmn…Oh, fine….Fine…"

"And soon…Even finer…" Charlotte's voice from seat back to Howard's…She leaning over in witch's costume, deftly grabbing Howard with silken cord…Quick strangulation…Howard, gasping, choking…Reaching for Raj as Raj nervously backs away in his seat…Howard dropping to floor…

"Your turn…Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha….!" Charlotte, leering…

He stared at her, then Howard's body on the floor as she got out of her seat and went to the body…Feeling for pulse…

"You know you could be a gentleman and give me a hand here…" she frowned at him…Lugging the corpse off…

Whoa!...He started…Back in his club car seat…Leonard eyeing him…

"Raj?..."

"Where's Howard?..."

"Back in the seats, with Bernadette where we left them…What's the matter?..."

"Hmmn?...Oh, nothing…" Brightly… "Excuse me, a little service here, another hopper, chop, chop!..." he waved at the passing female server who frowned at him, tapping his glass…

"Charlotte is in France, isn't she?..." he asked Leonard…Who shrugged…

"I sure hope so…I'm not certain about this idea of her coming to join us in Maine…Though I guess her gran will keep her in check…And it is Amy and Sheldon's decision…Why?..."

"I don't know…Chick freaks me out, I guess…"

"Well that's for sure…But we'll all keep a close eye on her…If she starts to act up again…We handled her once…"

"Getting cocky are we?..." Penny had come to rejoin them after a restroom stop…

"Well…" Leonard shrugged again… "I mean Amy does seem convinced she can be trusted…With caution…And anti-anxiety meds…"

"We'll see…But Raj is right…Lets keep the old guard up…Knights of Shamy, protecting our beloved duo, eh, guys?..." she grinned…

"Oh, yeah…Certainly…" Raj nodded… "And a gruesome and hideous death to any who betray their trust…"

"Hey…" Leonard sighed… "It was only one time…I didn't know she was a total psycho…And Penny and I weren't back together…"

"Sorry…I didn't mean…" Raj, sheepishly…

"Oh…We are back together?..." Penny smiled serenely at Leonard… "Nice of you to let me know…"

"Penny…You said you wanted me back…"

"I was helping Sheldon by testing Charlotte and her obsession with attached males…"

"Great…So we're not back together?..."

"I love jerking the little hobbit chain…" she grinned at Raj, splashing a bit of her Diet Coke Leonard's way… "Of course we're back together…Unless you thought the last three nights were a fantasy…"

"More like a Three Stooges short…The guys on a train…" Leonard, groaning a bit… "It's a bit difficult maneuvering in these train berths…"

"Leonard…" Penny, frowning… "Raj doesn't want to hear that…"

"I prefer it to hearing my sister's cries of ecstasy…" Raj noted… "And it's not exactly been a silent secret…"

"Especially when we fell out of our berth last night…" Leonard sighed… "Sheldon screamed for a solid half-hour…He was sure Charlotte had landed on the car and bored a hole through the train's roof to get him…"

"Sounds a bit Freudian, dude…" Raj, wise nod…Inaudible sigh of relief…

Not the only one giving Sigmund credence, thank God…

"Would be hard not to think of her a little…Ow!..." Leonard rubbed his struck arm…Staring at a frowning Penny… "I just mean…"

"I know what you 'just mean'…" she glared… "And that's my Frodoian way of reacting…Sorry…I can't help it either…"

"Freudian…"

"Frodoian…" firm reply… Grin… "As in Leonard's my lil' precious and no French-American maniac's gonna get her loony hooks into him…"

"Not if I know what's good for me…" he nodded, smiling…

"That's right…Anyway, I can understand Sheldon still being a little afraid of her…That was one freakin' insane lady…Though I did feel sorry for her a little…Sheldon being her Angel and all…" rueful smile… "It ain't easy to give up the love of your life…I just thank God I don't have a sister you like better…" sidelong glance to Raj, wink… "'Cause then I'd have to kill her…And that would really bother my dad, I think…"

"Must we always resort to such images in regards to our respective love-lives?..." Raj, anxiously… "When will the violence cease?...Can't we just try to get along…?"

Leonard eyeing Penny…Penny, Leonard…

"Raj, Howard's left the sword behind in Pasadena…It's fine…" Leonard noted…

Washington D.C…

State Department…Conference room…

Where Roger Stirling Jr. was ostensibly being debriefed by a colleague on his return to the States for a brief vacation in his role as assistant consul to the Kingdom of Drharain…

In fact the conversation being rather the opposite…He instructing the colleague…

"So you get it?...You and your team are to meet the train enroute between wherever in Hicksville, America they are now and Maine and see that the lady has a change of heart regarding her marital plans…" he eyed the young, huskily athletic figure in suit scanning the files he'd been handed…Not exactly the image of a junior State Department bureaucrat…

"All means necessary?..." the young man returned the stare…

"Sure…But Jesus, within reason…Don't blow up the train…This time…"


	3. Chapter 3

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

Part III…

Office of the First DPM, Drharain…

"What is the latest report on the worthless traitor of a dog's posterior-kissing tool of the infidels…?" a grim-looking bearded youthful figure in simple white shirt and trousers with headdress, arms folded, eyed the DPM seated behind his massive desk…Though not so massive or grand as that of the prime minister and heir…

Real power not needing to be showy…

"Are you addressing me as if you feel entitled to give orders here, young man?..." DPM Hamid al Bajahd distinguishedly grey-haired, in impeccably tailored Western suit frowned… "I trust you realize I could and should have you shot after or during torture…Particularly if your scandalous words refer to His Majesty…"

"Please…I embody our people's spirit of jihad…Make no idle threats or prepare for the afterlife…"

"If you truly wish a quick death…" the DPM reached for his desk buzzer… "But you throw away a chance to turn the global tidal once and for all in our favor…"

"Your policy of appeasing these Americans makes our stomachs churn with rage, our blood boil…It is an insult to the memory of our divinely inspired glorious leader…"

"Yes…" Hamid, thin smle… "Well, the glorious leader is currently lying in several pieces at the bottom of the Pacific…And you are the what?...Fifth replacement since…?"

"Sixth…My predecessor was gloriously martyred last week while driving a truck of death upon our enemies…"

"Oh, yes…He didn't quite make it, if I recall the story on the BBC…"

"He died the glorious death of a martyr, regardless…"

"A hands-on sort, how laudable…Easy enough to achieve…If you prefer such histrionics to real success…"

The tools one must sometimes work with…he sighed internally…

"You promised to deliver this benighted land of darkness into the Light of our guidance…" the young man fumed… "But we hear you continue to consort with the Americans and the young bastard dog of a prince is poised to not only take the throne but to bring in an American wife…Who doubtless will rule for the Americans…"

"And she's part-Jewish I understand…" Hamid…Barely repressing a grin…

So easy to get these fellows to sputtering near-coronary state…He eyed the now red-faced young man, briefly tuning out his torrent of invective…

"Finished?..." he asked, politely…But keeping one hand near buzzer, other near desk drawer containing loaded gun…The boy might have been disarmed and checked for explosives before being allowed to enter but never can tell just how crazy these type can get…

"You have betrayed us all!..." sputter…

"Hardly, my young friend…It's you and your organization's foolish propensity for violence that has left us helpless before the Americans…" Hamid rose… "Shall I tell you...Tissue?..." he offered the sputtering ranter a box of tissue to wipe the said sputter from his beard… "…how to defeat the Western powers?..."

"Endless jihad and blissful martyrdom…Everyone knows that…"

"Your imans and trainers must be working for the CIA…" Hamid chucked… "Just what do such means get us?…Headlines on CNN for a day or two and a generation of young potential leaders…And followers…Dead…The Americans couldn't do better if they nuked us and hot-topped over the radioactive remains…Young man, what power is the first to successfully confront the United States, and I don't mean the one who imploded in 1991, and give the West true cause to quail?..."

The replacement All-Powerful Leader stared…

My, the ranks must be getting thin…Hamid sighed internally…

"China, my boy…A nation on the rise that now increasingly can bend the West to its will…Without war…Without even a single suicide bomber…And to the benefit of its people…Without American domination…"

"China?...They have surrendered to the West…"

"Hardly…They've learnt to play the game and are beating the Westerners at it…We must do likewise…My friend…What greater, what more real victory for us could there be than one day peacefully foreclosing on the White House…Owning control of all major Western corporations…Using our economic power to force our ways upon the West and having its people eager to accept in order to enjoy the benefits of dealing with us…That, my boy, is true and lasting victory…Permanent victory…And it starts with our securing control of Drharain under the very noses of the Americans…With their eager cooperation and assistance in fact…"

"Compromise!...Shameful!..."

A small place in the dustbin of History for this one I see…

"When the king dies…Allah pardon him…The young prince will take the throne under my guidance…With fervent American support and even enthusiastic praise for his conciliatory and reformist ways…"

"We will never allow…!" Hamid put up a hand to interrupt…

"He will marry his American bride and as is his intent, bring her before the people as a symbol of his desire to modernize and reform the nation…Seeking reconciliation with the world…She will be the living proof to the Americans that Drharain is safely in their hands…And while our 'golden couple' make their parades and speeches and tours…We will establish Drharain as a secure base…"

The All-Powerful paused in mid-sputter…Hmmn?...

Ah, I see all hope in the next generation is not lost…A glimmer of reason… Hamid nodded…

"Yes…The West will have total faith in us…We will have access to their intelligence in ways that will make Pakistan's military's duplicitous game of the past twenty years look shabby…And all the while our organization can work in secret…Safe…"

Safe in my dungeons once I get you all collected…Those who cannot see the light of following the Chinese path making fine tokens of my good faith for the CIA…

"Well…It was useful to have secure bases in Pakistan…Till the corrupt military decided we were too much of a liability…" the young man reflected…

I must hire some Pakistani generals for our military once the prince is king, for sure…Hamid thought…Such practical men are exactly what we need…

"You all right?..." the lovely, elderly blonde-haired with elegant silver streaks, woman eyed her husband, a tall, lean, white-haired figure seated next to her in their rental car…

"I'm getting too old for this…I don't like having to travel for the job…" he sighed…

"Don't be an old man…Broadens the mind…If you're getting this cranky, this is probably exactly what you needed…"

"Eh…" he shrugged, raising hands in futile gesture…

"Now, now…Come on, Martin…It's a chance to see the kids again…I can't wait to see how Amy and Sheldon are doing…" she beamed…Eyeing the road carefully…"He must be so excited by this long train trip…You know how he loves trains…"

"I just don't see we had to shlep all the way out to the middle of nowhere, Middle America…" Martin frowned… "We couldn't just phone in a report…Do a conference call?..."

"They wanted to see us direct…" the woman pursed lips…Peering down the long, rather empty road in the midst of cornfields…Endless cornfields…

"Yeah…But why?...Barb, what's suddenly so important they have to drag us out to such a swell place to dump two elderly corpses to meet some fellow?..." Martin shook head…

"Now there's a positive image…Thanks…"

"Well…" he shrugged… "Something's not right…"

"Exactly why I was willing to come…" Barbara nodded…Eyeing him briefly… "Something strange is up here and I want to know…"

"Maybe that vixen from France…She was trouble, like I tole you…"

"I guess…Sad kid, really…" Barbara shook head… "Poor thing was so in love with Sheldon…I wept reading your report…But she's back in France…"

"Well, alls' well that ended with everyone alive…" he reflected… "Barney and I really thought we might have to intervene that time…That was one determined girl…"

"Well, good thing Amy thought of calling in Dr. Fowler-Horowitz…I knew Margaret would set things right…She was always such a fine consultant back in the old days…" Barbara smiled…

"Lights…" Martin noted…Seeing headlights blinking a short distance up the road… "I'd say we're here…"

"Hmmn-hmm…" Barbara turned the car to the side of the road…Stopping and setting brake…Pulling out purse…

"Barb?..." Martin eyed the small pistol she was checking…

"Just in case, honey…And I'd be sure your spare is secure in the sensor-proof pocket…I'd prefer not to be dumped in these fields…"

"Already did…" smile… "I didn't care for cornfield burial either…"

"You're always so in synch with me, babe…" she grinned… "That why we've worked out so well together…" she opened her door…He getting out as well…Both carefully stepping to a spot where the car offered some protection from the car just down the road…

"Mr. and Mrs. B…Nice to see you…" the young man from Stirling's briefing smiled at them… "Glad to see you could make the time…"

"Collins…" Martin nodded…Awaiting…

"Oh, yes…Sorry…" Collins felt for a packet… "I know you like to follow the old protocol…Here ya go…" he handed the packet… Martin taking it and opening to find a clipped-together packet of sheets, several photos and a tape…Barbara pulling a cassette player out of her purse as Collins stood watching…

"Nice shot of Amy…" Barbara noted, eyeing photo…

Martin placed the tape in the player and turned it on, carefully setting it on their car's engine hood…

"Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Bain…" the tape began…


	4. Chapter 4

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part IV…

"Well, this is unacceptable…" Sheldon firmly eyed the conductor facing him…The conductor carefully regarding the passenger in striped nightdress and nightcap…Whose current air of calm belied the hideous striek which had emanated from him…For the second time in two nights…On the train's sudden halting…

A weary , concerned, but pleased to find no regressingly insane sister behind the event, Amy in nightgown beside him…Rather contentedly clinging to his arm…Carefully resting ring hand for prominent display to all and sundry willing to pass by or stick heads out of compartments or berths at 1am…

"Sir, we've forced to stop by trouble on the tracks…We'll get moving as soon as we're cleared to…Though it may be a while…" the conductor sighed… "I'd really suggest you just get back to your bed and turn in for the night…"

"But we're on a schedule…" Sheldon fumed… "This train is due to arrive at a fixed time…Doesn't the honor of maintaining a time-honored railroad schedule mean anything to you…?"

"As a matter of fact, son…It does…But safety first…" hard stare…

"Man does have a point, moonpie…" Amy noted… "And Gran won't mind if we're a day or two late…Think of it as a little extra time on your favorite mode of transport…"

"But what sort of 'trouble' is it?...Avalanche, suicide on the rails?…That could be Charlotte…" he eyed Amy… "She is the Anna Karenina type…Forest fire, stalled car or cow…"

"Is that?..." Penny groaned in an upper berth just a few feet from where Sheldon stood outside his "honeymoon suite" sleeping room with Amy…

"Yeah, it's Sheldon…" Leonard. Likewise groaning as he peered from the berth…

"Sheldon…Amy?...What's up…" he hissed…

"Train's been forced to stop…" Amy, low voice…Penny suddenly alert…

"Stopped?...Why?...Where's Sheldon?...Leonard, where's my bat?...Don't get out…" she felt for the bat she'd kept concealed in her bag to bring on board to Leonard's bemusement…

Just a little Nebrakan just-in-case…She'd explained…

As in just-in-case Charlotte flipped out again after returning to France…A place famous for making people a little looney…

"Penny…It's fine…"

"Sure…Of course…You just wait here and let me…Ow!...Sorry…Let me check things out…Sheldon?..." she hissed, leaning over Leonard…Ow!... Hey!... "Is everything ok?..."

"Aces, bestie…" Amy gave a thumbs-up… "No problem…"

"You sure?...Maybe we should take a look around…" "Penny?...Feet?..." Leonard groanded…

Sorry…

Sheldon nodding eagerly…Oh, Lord, yes…Form search parties, make a full sweep…If only I'd thought to bring an infrared detector…

"Absolutely…" the conductor nodded… "You folks take your friend up that way to the baggage car…Stay the whole night if you like…"

"Baggage car?..." Sheldon frowned… "Pshaw, everyone knows that's where the killers hide until they make their move when Sherlock Holmes or whoever is sleeping…"

"Sheldon…There are no killers in the baggage car…" Penny now on floor of the car, in nightie…

I hope…Though Charlotte's thugs were somewhat killing-averse…Luckily for us…

Not bad…Amy thought, eyeing Penny's nightdress…But lacking that certain essential element that is an engagement wedding ring…LIKE MINE!..Woo Hoo!...

Calmly flexing ring finger a bit…

"That's what Dr. Watson or other comic relief sidekick always says before the killers emerge to…Kill…We'd best check that car…Well, you and I, Penny…Amy…You…"

"I…What…?" Amy, sternly…

Appreciate the lovin' there, moonpie…But no way are you riskin' life and limb minus your ball and chain…Especially with Penny…

"Ummn…"

"I get your manly protectiveness, sweetness…But get over it…Lets go, bestie…Sheldon, you're the one at risk if it's my sister…You stay here…"

"Amy…"

"Just being assertive to counter your protectiveness, love…Come on, if it is Charlotte, she'd already have planned to divide us and take you here while we're off searching trunks…If it's someone else, neither of us wants to do the death do you part anyway…"

"I'm sure there's no one there, guys…" Penny sighed…

"I don't know…Sheldon's hypothesis has at least 50% probability based on the current lack of evidence and the fact that something did stop us…" Amy noted…

"Yeah, but what?...Conductor?...Why did we stop?..." Penny looked at the conductor…

"We're stopped…By trouble ahead…Possibly for a while…That's all I know, ma'am…" he shook his head and resumed his way back down the car…

"Shocking the way standards have declined…" Sheldon sighed… "In the old days, that man would be passing us guns as a precaution and going out to hook up to the telegraph for the latest bulletin…"

"Yeah…Well, cell is out…" Penny tapped phone…

"But telegraph would not be…" Sheldon, archly…

"Unless the electricity for the graphing thing was down, right?..." Penny, equally archly…

"In a way, she's right…" Amy noted to an eye-rolling Sheldon…

"So train stoppage, eh?..." Raj , cheerily coming up to the group from his berth at the farther end of the car …In sweatshirt and slacks…

"Reminds me so much of home…" he sighed…

Martin in car with Barbara driving on the long, lonely Illinois road through endless cornfields…He shaking head…

"Well?..." she glanced at him…

"Smells…And I don't mean just the manure…That kid Collins is up to something…"

"Well, duh…" she shook head… "He sure didn't drag us out here to brief him on the kids for nothing…"

"Standard security clearance check my ass…" Martin frowned…

"There were some goings-on back in California recently…"

"Since when does CIA have an urgent need to do a check on the boys just cause one's gone and about to get married to a fine girl…?"

"It wasn't the boys he was really interested in…" she noted…

"Yeah…Bullcrap about the 'special nature' of several of her research projects…Amy's not involved in anything CIA would be interested in…"

"We can't be sure of that…Just sayin…Devil's advociate…" she waved a hand… "I agree with you…But why would they be interested in Amy…?"

"Could be the crazy sister…" Martin reflected… "Maybe she's pulling something…Barney did say she'd been involved with a couple of bigwigs in the US and Europe…She could be callin' in favors…"

"She did seem better at the end…" Barbara shook her head… "I don't know…Martin, I've a bad feeling about this…Lets pull in and call Barney…See what he or Jim can dig up…"

"Just let me make sure we're not being followed…I've no desire to have my corpse dumped and left for the Children of the Corn to use as a scarecrow out here…"

Dhrarain…Office of the First Deputy Prime Minister…

"Mr. Stirling…" Hamid addressed the face of Stirling on video cam…

"Mr. Minister…Just wanted to let you know alls being taken care of with regard to the Fowler situation…"

"Very good…His Highness will be most pleased…"

"Sorry to hear His Majesty's no better…"

"A tragedy for the Nation…But we thank Allah we have so worthy a successor and such staunch allies to assist us in this troubled time…" smile…

"He was a pistol…Is, sorry…I always had a ball with him…Say if he comes out of the coma, tell him I was thinking of him and that last trip we took salmon fishing with those girls…"

"I shall endeavor to pass that on to His Majesty if Allah wills it…"

"Right…Anyway, tell the Prince, the State Department and the US government stand ready to demonstrate their friendship and support for both him and Dhrarain, as always…"

"Yes…Uh…Mr. Stirling…?"

"Yo…"

"There is the little matter of transport…Once the lady 'agrees' to come along?..."

Striling wagged a finger…Hamid…?

"Yes…Well, Dhrarain's government would simply like me to express our willingness to always assist our great ally the United States in any material way we can…Should it ever be required…And of course personnel at our consulates in America are fully informed so as to be ready to assist…At any time…"

"That's big, Hamid…We may call you on it…Someday…Give my best best to the kid…And to your Gretchen…Telll her Dad misses her, so Draper wanted me to pass on…"

"Please give my father-in-law my best compliments…" Hamid smiled…

"Will do…Over and out…" Stirling's section of the screen went blank…

Hamid pressed pad…Middle-aged figure in Western suit appeared onscreen…Seal of Drharain behind his seated form at desk…"Office of the Drharainian Consulate" in neat block letters below seal…

"Sir?..."

"The Americans have approved our participation in the operation, Jamir…I'm sending you some extra assistance by way of Chicago…Send your best to work with them but keep an eye on them…They're experts but a bit 'touchy' and I want no errors or sidetracking foolish acts…Our new Queen…" sigh, pause…The things we do for the future of our people… "…Must reach her new home safely and shortly…And with a relatively functional brain…"

"Yes, sir…Full cooperation?..."

"Of course…And try to minimize collateral damage…Though of course if Cooper should have a fatal accident we could overlook that…I'm sure our allies will…"

"The needs of the many…" Jamir nodded…

"From his file I believe Dr. Cooper would appreciate that…" smile…

"With all due respect, I doubt it, sir…" return smile…


	5. Chapter 5

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part V…

Office of the Dhrarainian Consulate General in Chicago…

"So…Gentlemen…" middle-aged, balding "assistant consul" Jamir el Faid in tailored suit eyed the "reinforcements" just driven in from the airport… Five rather experienced-looking young men in casual clothes…

Actually better than he or his own assistant "assistant consul"/security chief had expected…Steely- rather than wild-eyed…Modern western clothing…No ranting as yet…

"…You understand our mission is to 'escort' the Prince's future bride from the train to the waiting arms of his Highness in Dhrarain…And with minimal violence…?"

"And we act in support of the Americans?…They run the show?...And we play nice?..." the most steely-eyed of the group smiled at him…A dark, intense-looking thin but wiry-looking young man…

"I trust that will be acceptable…It is essential to our longterm goals as well as this mission that cooperation be our watchword…" Jamir noted… His assistant, Famid nodding…

Essential…

"Cool…" the young man shrugged with grin… "Don't worry…We understand the situation…And despite the current Leader's…Say, is he still with us, we haven't had a chance to see the news for a couple of days?...Reservations…" grin… "We rather like the plan as outlined…"

"A bit more sensible than most of what we've been handed …" a second, rather fair-haired fellow next to him agreed…

I suppose I shouldn't ask if he dyes it…Jamir thought…

"Just remember that only I, my assistant Famid, and the members of our security team here…" Jamir indicated the security team of six fairly fit young men…Though not nearly so as the new five arrivals… "Are agents of the Deputy Minister and can be trusted…"

"Fine…" the first speaker and team leader of the five "special operatives" noted… "What's our cover story with the consul personnel…?"

Better and better…Perfect English, sensible…This young man could go far in Hamid's new Drharain…Jamir thought…

"A new elite anti-terrorism team , training with the Americans…"

The young team leader chuckled… "I like it…How about with the Americans…?"

"Same story, basically…Famid will provide your ids as part of his team…"

Smile… "Even better…I knew I'd enjoy this when Number Six gave us our marching orders…"

"Just remember…" Jamir put up a hand…

"We're 100% cooperating friends of Uncle Sam…And the lady herself is to be handled like glass…I told you we get it…And won't mind having a safe haven right under the Uncle's top hat…Besides…" the team leader grinned… "We're all suckers for stories of true love…"

Chuckles…

"Of course I wouldn't have minded if Prince Faisal had chosen to fix his bespectacled eyes upon Jennifer Aniston…" grin…"But the key point is to have our clueless prince mated to an equally clueless Yankee, so…" shrug…

"I think she's cute…" a third member cut in… "Her photo reminded me of the Wicked Witch of the West…" grin…

"The Blessed Angel of the West, Kadim…." the team leader noted solemnly… "Whose gentle mantle of protection may finally give us a win a bit more practical than blowing up a bunch of kids in a schoolyard…Just one thing…Mr. Consul General?..." cold stare… "We haven't had a chance to discuss our bill in all the rush…"

Jamir blinking…"Bill?...What do you mean?...Your Leader has already…"

"Number Six…Yes…I'm amazed your boss talked that nut into this…Frankly, sir…We in the rank and file and some of us in middle-management are getting rather fed up with the failures of the old school leadership in our organization…" smile… "And being more pragmatic, would like to terminate our association with the same and work direct…With extreme prejudice as our American… 'Allies'….Would say, given I understand he and his batch of top-level nutburgers are currently guests of your guy back in the glorious motherland…" cool smile on face…Reflected on several others…

"That's our bill…And given we've guessed it's pretty much already your intention, rather reasonable I'd say…" friendly smile…

Yes, this one would have gone far…A real pity…Jamir thought…But…Orders are orders…

And this one is a bit too clever for our own good…

"Now as to the plan of assault…Famid?..." he turned to the security chief…

"Yes…The train is currently stopped sixty-five miles east from Chicago…With the Americans just about in position…" Famid began…Pointing to a map of the Middle Western United States displayed on projection screen via laptop…Zooming in…

"God bless our wonderful American allies…" the young team leader grinned…

Offices of Sterling, Cooper, Draper, Price, Campbell, Olsen…New York, NY…

Sigh from the balding Peter Campbell as he bent to remove shoes… "Draper…?" he looked up and over to the elegantly handsome elder man watching him from his desk… "Is it really necessary to do the shoes?...Especially at 1:30 am…?"

"If it was good enough for Burt Cooper to use to intimidate, it's good enough for me, Pete…" the addressed Draper in firm, rich voice… "And given your attitude it seems to be working well as ever…"

"I'm too old for this…" Campbell shook head…Finally wrenching shoe…

"And I'm a bit old to be dragged down here at 1:30 in the morning…" smile… "What's on your mind, Campbell?..."

"Stirling…And the Dhrarain situation…Don, it's a crisis…"

"A hefty if fussy client of medium oil power status…I'd say it could be and be better a modest tempest…Not quite a crisis worthy of my coming down here and waking Megan…"

"Stirling is using his CIA…"

"Campbell…" stern eye…

"Sorry… His 'special government connections' to grab that plain Jane Faisal's so gaga over…And I mean grab…"

"Grab…" the distinguished white-haired Draper, meticulously groomed in fine suit, eyed Campbell carefully… "We are talking about some version of kidnapping here?...This being Roger's son we're talking about…"

"Snatching, yes…From her fiancée…Her American fiancée…Don, this is going to blow up for sure…And SCDPOC is going to left to clean up Stirling Jr.'s mess once again…"

"No chance the girl might be interested?...We are talking 200 billion dollars at least here…"

"Don?..." Campbell, shocked look… "You and I may have done our share of philandering down the years on the sides but we never got grossly materialistic about love…Not to mention kidnapping was still a Federal crime last time I heard…With kidnapping by foreign powers being really unpopular…."

"So the lady's not interested in Faisal and his various charms?...I was just checking, Pete…"

"But what can we do about it?..."

"Pete…If Stirling's got his 'special government contacts' involved…I would suggest we sit back and do nothing…"

"Nothing…Don?...Apart from this being an American girl we're talking about…The negatives here are astronomical…Why Trudy was saying…"

"Wait…" Draper sighed, rolling eyes… "You spoke to Trudy about this?..."

"Well….Sure…I tell Trudy everything…Heck I even broke down about my three non-Peggy girls and the baby I had with Peggy…It's cathartic, as she likes to stay…Really did me a world of good, characterwise…"

"Meaning you were actually worse before?...Sorry…' Draper eyed the stricken face… "You're much improved over the last forty, Campbell…But, telling Trudy about this?..."

"Don't you tell Megan everything?...You told me you even told her about your deserting in Korea…"

"I think I tell too many people too much…All right…" Draper sighed, raising hand… "You've a point…But this complicates things…"

"Really?... I don't see how…Trudy's silent as the grave on business matters…"

"Campbell…" Draper leaned wearily back in his chair… "Given we may as well speak freely now…Did it occur to you that the CIA might choose to make that statement absolute if they felt Trudy could be a leak or liability on this one…?"

"What?...No…No, Roger Jr .would never…I mean unless he found out…"

"Which he is sure to at this rate…"

"Anyway Trudy had a good idea…"

" I've a better one, Pete…" Draper shook head… "Go home, forget about this, tell Trudy to forget about it as if your lives depended on it which they probably do…Leave it to me…"

"But…Don?…There is a moral issue involved…"

"So now you're a champion of human rights?...The man who landed us a PR account defending Zimbabwe's record?..."

"That was different…They wanted our help…"

"Yeah, I'm sure every starving worker and tortured peasant appreciated the good PR…Campbell, leave it to me…I'll handle it…"

"Well…Ok…" Campbell sighed, staring at Draper's frowning face…

"Don?...No one's getting killed over this are they?...The fiancée…Me…"

"Only if you keep interfering…Now leave it to me, Pete…And please don't go home and tell Trudy about this too…"

"She'd know I was keeping secrets…She's good at that…"

"If you really love her…For her sake…" Draper cautioned…

"Fine, in your hands…But Don…I expect something will be done…"

"I'll speak to Stirling…"

"Oh…Good…Ummn…"

"I won't mention your name…But, you are the only one dealing with Dhrarain's PR so you can expect he'll draw the logical conclusion…"

"Uh-boy…" Campbell, weak in the knees, sat on couch across from Draper's desk…

"Pete…"

"Leave it to you, right…" sigh…

"It was nice of the conductor to give us the baggage car keys…" Sheldon noted as Penny unlocked the baggage car door…

"Yeah…I'm thinking it would have been nicer if he'd given us a flashlight or told us how to turn the lights on in here…" Leonard, just behind Penny, noted…

"Lower tones, Leonard…We want to have the killers unaware of our presence until we are ready to pounce…" Sheldon insisted…

"Moonpie…Shhhh…" Amy frowned at him… "Bestie…?" she hissed to Penny now just inside, Leonard following just behind her… "All clear, so far?..."

"Yeah, the blonde and hobbity canaries in the shaft haven't been suffocated yet…" Penny hissed back…

"Guys?..." Howard's voice from behind at normal level, startling them all…Raj, just ahead of him, behind the line of Sheldon, Amy, Leonard, Penny, literally jumping… "Holy crap!..."

"Sorry?...What's up?..."

"You nearly killed me there, dude…" Raj sighed, clutching chest a bit…Eyeing Howard in silk bathrobe…

Hmmn…

Maybe Wolowitz has cut his own deal with Charlotte for exchanging murders…?


	6. Chapter 6

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part VI…

Sixty-five miles east of Chicago...Parking lots near the railway line…

"Mr. Collins, my team…" Famid indicated his security team, supplemented by the "special operatives"…

Colllins standing by a nondescript van, three men in dark overcoats and suits quietly beside him…

"Kahld…" the young team leader of the "special operatives" smiled… "Nice to meet you, sir…May I say for our team we're very pleased to be working with you….For the good of our beloved nations and of course our beloved prince…"

"Right…" Colllins, coolly… "Lets not discuss that aspect, please…I understand you boys are pretty well trained…"

"The benefits of your country's generosity in providing anti-terrorism training…" smile…

"Yes, well as you say, Mr. Collins…" Famid a bit hurriedly… "We should focus on the immediate mission…"

"Seems simple enough…Getting to our target…Just perhaps…If Mr. Collins would be so kind…" Kahid smiled at Collins' tall form… "As to what's to be done once we do reach the lady in question…"

"We'll deal with that…" Collins, calmly… "It's just a matter of explaining to the good doctor the importance of what's at stake here…"

"Well, we'll leave it to you and your people of course…" Famid nodded… "Shall we go over the operation and what you'd like my men to do?..."

"Sure…" Collins, crisply...

"Just, if I may…" Kahid interrupted, same cool smile… "What's to be done with the lady's current intended…And anyone traveling with them?..."

"We'll deal with that as well…They being US citizens we want to minimize any contacts between you and them…" Collins, curtly… "To avoid unnecessary problems for your government…Don't worry, we've already got that well in hand…"

"Nice…You Amercians…That take-charge attitude of yours always impresses…" smile…

King Faisal Memorial Hospital, Dhrarain…Top Security CICU…

"Could we have a few minutes alone, guys and ladies…?" Prince Faisal eyed the five security agents in suits and the four nurses, two of whom were top security personnel decked in nurses' outfilts…

"Highness…" the security team's chief eyed him… "Neither His Majesty nor you can be left unguarded…"

"Just for a couple of minutes…" Faisal sighed… "Seriously, guys…This is an order…No offense…And you can wait just outside…" he pointed…

"One… 'nurse'…Must remain…" the security chief insisted… "For His Majesty's sake, I beg you, Highness…"

"Fine…" sigh… "But just one…"

"You…" the chief indicated the 'nurse' who clearly was the most alert and fittest of the whole team…

"I am honored…"the tall 'nurse' nodded… The others filing out…Several casting nervous looks…

"Uh…Ms. Fatima?..." Faisal read her name tag…."You can keep mum about anything I say here?...I mean even to your boss out there?..."

"Highness?...You mean Dr. Alizar, the chief cardiologist…?"

"I mean your boss…I know you're part of the security force….You don't have to admit it, I know the protocol…" he put up a hand…."Just promise me…."

"No word of what happens here will ever pass my lips, Highness…" she took up a position near the room door…Silently watching…Adjusting her biosafety hood…Not strictly required for such a case but a good compromise for a burka under the ICU condtions…

"Great…" nod…He smoothed robes…Leaning forward in chair toward the bedside of the stricken king...Currently enwrapped in a near cocoon of tubes and wires…

"Ummn….Dad?...It's me…I hope you can hear me…" pause, careful scan of monitors…

"Dad, I just wanted you to know…I kinda feel I should at least try to mention it…You know that girl I was funding…The American…Amy?"

Scan of monitors…Hmmn…No sudden jump like in the movies…Good…

"I know she's not exactly your favorite choice, Dad…Or the family's…But I really think she's the one for me…If she'll have me…" Faisal, sighing… "Here's her picture again…I know you said you never wanted to see or hear of her again after I asked about marrying her ten years ago but…Isn't she the greatest?...Dad?...She'd be such a help to me….Really…And you did buck the family to marry Mom…Being Shia and all…"

Cough…Opening of eyes…Monitors slightly picking up…

Holy!...He stared… "Dad?..."

Fatima hurried over… "Pardon, Highness…"

"Wait…" whisper…Wave of aged hand… "Boy…"

"Dad…?"

Eyes searching, fixing firmly…

"If you are to be King…And…You will be…Act like one…" the King eyed his son sternly…Eyes closed…

"Dad?..."

"I still say she looks like the Wicked Witch of the West…" the King spoke, eyes again fixing…Closing…

"Highness?..." Fatima, anxiously… "We must have the medical team back in…"

"Oh, sure…Yeah…" Faisal nodded…Standing… "Let me get out of your way…" he moved back to the side of the room as the medical and security teams hurried in…

Thanks, Dad…he beamed…

"Highness…" the chief cardiologist turned to him from the bed… "Was he truly conscious?..."

"Just a moment, yeah…And pretty coherent…Is that good?..." Faisal eyed him…

"I'm afraid he's back in the coma…Vital signs are weaker…We will do all we can…"

"Of course…Ummn…Agent Bashir?..." Faisal eyed the security chief…A heavy-set, tough-looking fellow whose polite and deferential manner belied his rather gangsterish looks…

"Highness?..." Bashir turned from watching the medical team carefully…Signing to his other team members to maintain careful watch…

"I think I need to speak to my fiancée sooner rather than later…" determined look…

"See…." Penny had halted and turned back to face Leonard/Amy/Sheldon/Raj and now, Howard, in file behind her… "There's nothing…AHHHH!..." she jumped as, on turning, a figure had appeared in front of her….

"Hey…" Stuart waved… "Gee, sorry, there…" he eyed the Penny who'd fallen back into Leonard, toppling him into Amy/Sheldon/Raj…Howard having sensibly remained a foot or so behind Raj… "I heard we'd stopped and figured I'd just check out the baggage car…Always the trouble spot in the movies, you know…."

"Yeah…" Leonard groaned…Helping Penny up…Amy pulling Sheldon to his feet…

"Well, if there is someone hiding back there, they're sure as hell either scared to death or getting the poison darts out…" Howard noted…Extending hand to Raj…

"Wait…" Sheldon, nervously… "I smell Charlotte's perfume…Lilacs…"

"I think that's me…" Penny sighed… "I asked her at the airport before she went home what she wore and she gave me a bottle…I only started trying it tonight…"

Phew…Leonard sighed…And here I was thinking I was having some kind of kinky olfactory fantasy back in the berth tonight…

"Amy?..." Penny backed away as Amy sniffed carefully at her arm…

"Just checking, bestie…Sheldon, have a whiff…I'm sure that's it…Penny's laid it on a bit heavily…"

"Hey…No, Sheldon…" Penny stepped back further, as Sheldon moved her way, sniffing… "Lets just assume it's me, ok?...I don't need to be sniffed all over like a dog's bone…"

"Really?..." Amy shrugged… "Don't you and Leonard enjoy the olfactory senses as a part of your sexual experiences…Sheldon and I find they play a very stimulating part in our encounters?...Howard?..." she turned to face him… "How about you and Bernadette?... I imagine scent is a major turn on for you two…Finding it difficult to imagine your physical attractiveness plays much of a role…"

"Thanks…" Howard nodded…

"Notice how I carefully suppressed my natural instinct to ask Rajesh…" she hissed to Penny…

"Great…" Leonard shrugged… "Well, Stuart's looked the car over and we've found nothing…Can we get back to bed now?..."

"Did you search around the crates back here?..." Sheldon eyed Stuart who nodded… "And tapped on each one, Sheldon…No one tapped back, so far…"

"We should open them…Just to be sure…"

"Sheldon…We can't go opening people's private property…" Leonard noted… "But, if you're worried you can do guard duty here…All night…"

"That's a fine idea…Thanks Leonard…" Amy nodded… "Lets draw lots for the first and second shift…"

"What?...No…"

"Really?...Thanks for volunteering…We'll of course take the second in four hours…Come, Sheldon…" she pulled at him…

"Nicely done, moron…" Penny fumed…As the rest hurried out…

"Come on…We don't need to stay…Sheldon's being ridiculous…"

"Of course we do…Something stopped this train…But you had to go and start getting all 'people have rigths'…We coulda opened the crates and headed back to bed…Besides…" she gave nervous look…

"I just remembered It's her lavender scent Charlotte gave me…You and Amy would have to have no head for perfume…"

Back in the sleeper car, Howard pausing, with grin at Amy… "Nicely done back there, Dr. Fowler…"

"What?..." Sheldon stared…Stuart grinning…

"No one disses my honey…Especially given his concerns were perfectly justified…" Amy nodded, sly smile… "I'm sorry about Penny but she'd want to stay with Leonard anyway….She's as worried for him as I am about my moonpie…" pat…

"Yeah…" Pause by their compartment door…Sheldon entering…

"It was lavender on Penny…Not lilacs…" Howard hissed…Amy blanching…Raj and Stuart staring…

"Trust me, not even Sheldon can match the Wolowitz schnozz on perfume distinction…"


	7. Chapter 7

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part VII…

"Sweetheart…?" Sheldon had returned to the compartment door... "Aren't you coming?…There's a view of the lake from our window…Admittedly stationary for the moment but…"

"One minute, moonpie…" Amy, calmly… "Just hangin' with our homeboys…Be right in…" she pulled the door closed...

"All right…" she eyed Howard sharply… "You've no doubt it was lavender…?"

Howard, stern glance…Madam?...

"Right…Ok, we need a crowbar and a flame thrower…I'm through playing nice sister…" Amy glared…

"Amy…" Stuart sighed…

"Fine, no thrower… I'll just beat her to death with the crowbar while you gentlemen hold her down…Just muffle her screams so Sheldon doesn't get unduly anxious…Fortunately, as my intended noted we're right next to a lake…"

"Amy?..." Howard…

"Hey, if she can be crazed enough to kill for my boobela…?"

Howard blinking…

"Grandpa Leonard, we told you…" Amy frowned…

"Amy, it might not be Charlotte…" Stuart noted…

"Sheldon caught her scent…It's imprinted…And Howard's confirmed it…"

"Well, we can't go tearing through the crates back there…Even if we could find a crowbar…" Howard noted… "Why don't we just stick to the plan and let Leonard and Penny keep watch….Charlotte rises up out of a crate, we can trust Penny to stake her…And lets face it, none of us could manage a stake ramming…"

"Hmmn…I think it was a mistake on my part to pair them together…Leonard's having been in Charlotte's thrall…He's sure to try and talk Penny out of it…" Amy shook head…

"Amy…She is your sister…" Stuart sighed… "I know you're still upset after all that happened but you don't want to kill her…"

"No…Probably not…I'd end up in prison and she's clever enough to have sent a double…The moment they locked me up she'd pounce…"

"Pounce?..." Bernadette's voice… "What, pounce?...Is Charlotte back?...Where is she?..." they turned to see her in robe and curlers…

"Let me understand you, your Highness…" First Deputy Prime Minister Hamid stared at Faisal, standing in his office, now dressed in suitable Western attire for a quick jaunt to the MidWest US to see his would-be babe…

Leonard Hofstadter in something very like a goatee…And somewhat more expensive glasses and casual, though more of Sheldon's taste, clothes…

"You want to go to America?...Speak to Dr. Fowler yourself?..."

"Exactly…She's on a train headed to Boston from Chicago, right?...Bashir told me…"

"Did he?..."

Cut to shot of guillotine slamming down on Agent Bashir's head…

"I asked him to keep tabs on her…"

"I see…"

"Hamid, they're going to see Amy's grandmother in Maine…I've only a few days before it's too late to state my case…And I should do it myself…"

"Highness, as per your own instructions…We are doing so…And I'm sure we'll succeed…Once we've explained your sincere interest…There's no need for you…"

"Why would she want to marry me without seeing me first?...Especially when she's got Cooper…"

"Highness…"

"Dad told me to go, Hamid…Not in so many words…But…Sorta…And those might be his last words of advice to me…He's given his consent…Kinda…"

"He did?...But isn't he still…?"

"Well, yeah…Still in the coma…But he came out for a second…That agent, Ms. Fatima, and the medical team can confirm it…"

"I'm not doubting you, your Highness…But for you to embark on such a journey…And by the time you reached America…"

"I can be there by fighter jet in five hours…I just have to wait at a station down the line, get on board and…Well…See what she says…" Faisal sighed…

"Highness…You are soon to be head of state…You can't risk your life on such a quest…Please…Let us proceed as planned…"

Allah, please…Last thing we need is to lose you now, you little…

"Hamid…Am I Prime Minister?..."

"You are, Highness…"

"And there is no constitution, yet…Except Dad's law creating the cabinet and my slot, directly under him, answerable only to him?..."

"Yes, Highness…"

"Well, then?..." stare…

"We must discuss this with the full Cabinet, Highness…Your cousins…"

"That'll take days to get all my cousins and the other guys together…I can't wait…"

"Highness…There may not be a constitution but you do have a responsibility to the Nation, regardless…Plus the Americans must be consulted as well…It is their country, your Highness…"

"But you've got guys enroute to see Amy…One more won't make any difference…" Faisal, shrewd tone…

"Highness, the situation is very delicate…Your presence in America would only complicate matters…And the People, Highness…Our People need their Prince on hand at this critical time…As your rival Dr. Cooper would say…"

"'The needs of the many'?..." Faisal sighed…

"Indeed, Highness…" Hamid nodded… "And, what better way to impress the lady than to show her your sense of duty, a quality I am given to understand is quite paramount in her own character…"

"She is dedicated to Science…And those she loves…" Faisal sighed… "Well…If you say so, Hamid…"

"Highness, I promise you will be taken to her the moment she crosses our border…"

"If she comes…"

"I have the utmost faith that she will…" Hamid smiled…Rising… "All will be well, my Prince…My future King…Simply trust in yourself…"

"I'll try…" Faisal sighed again…Turning for the door…

"Oh, Highness…One minor matter…A bill for your signature…" Hamid turned to take a sheet off his desk… "About those terrible people our security intercepted crossing the border…Important terrorist cell leaders, trying to set up a network in our beloved Dhrarain…"

"Oh, right…Is this to charge them?..." Faisal eyed the sheet… "We do have evidence, right?..."

"The fiends were caught with their foul implements of destruction on their very persons…Of course a formal trial will be held…"

Sorta…As you like to say, my boy…Hamid maintaining smile…

"Well, long as everything's done legally…Where are they now?...They are under proper guard?...And they did get lawyers and all that?..."

"In our top security prison, Highness…" Hamid nodded… "With access to proper representation under law…"

It being our law…That would be me…He thought…

"Good…Hey, that's quite a coup, Hamid…"

Ah, that word…Hamid beamed…But why go to such trouble when the setup is so perfect as planned…

"Getting them like that…" Faisal continued, leaning over to sign the document on Hamid's desk… "I guess Dad would want them locked up…Long as they're getting a fair trial and all…"

Fair as our medieval legal code permits, yes…Bright smile…

"Say…'International exchange of useful interrogative information'?...Does this mean the Americans and Europeans can have access to them after the trial?…I don't want any abuse of their rights, you know…No waterboarding and all that…Even if they're found guilty…"

Rights?...Surely the boy's been watching too much American television…

"Certainly not, Highness…All such interrogations will be handed under our supervision…"

Besides, after we're through with them…The junior members who survive, knowing little, sure won't need waterboarding to spill what they know…And as for the senior leaders aware of any of my plans…Shot while trying to escape…They'll be shot while trying to escape…

"Well, nice to know we've won one for world peace…I should mention it to Amy…"

"I'm sure it will please her to know Dhrarain is capable of dealing with such criminals on her own…Highness, I shall have you informed the moment I learn of our operatives' success in speaking to Dr. Fowler…"

"No pressure, Hamid…"

"Simply an explanation of why you weren't able to make your case earlier, Highness…I'm sure the lady will be impressed…"

A few of those Soviet psychiatric drugs and anyone could be…Hamid eyed the closed door…

Make his case himself…Kids these days…

"Bashir…" Faisal , in hallway, to cell phone… "Have the jet fueled and ready…We're going to discover America…"


	8. Chapter 8

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part VIII…

The group minus Leonard and Penny…And Sheldon, joined by Amy in their compartment to prevent his learning of their concerns, discussed the latest turn of events in the empty club car…

"We have scotched the snake, dudes…Not killed it…" Raj sighed…

"Guys…We're jumping to conclusions here…" Stuart shook his head… "Sheldon catching a whiff of lilac perfume in the baggage car doesn't mean Charlotte's flipped out again and come back for another round…"

"It is sure something Charlotte would do…Catching Sheldon from a train…" Bernadette noted…. "And nobody yet seems to know what's stopped the train…"

"I don't buy it…" Howard shook head… "My sense of guiltometer registered extreme with Charlotte when she left…I don't believe she was faking…I'm sure she was sincere about being happy to know Amy hadn't betrayed her over Sheldon…And she wouldn't risk the wrath of Grandma…"

"Amy seems willing to consider it…" Bernadette noted…

"Amy's been under a bit of strain recently…" Stuart pointed out… "Naturally she's on edge about her sis…Howard, you said Leonard agreed with you when you went to tell them?..."

"You mean before Penny started with the 'I told you so'?...Yeah…He thought it was a little unbelievable that Charlotte would or could try again…"

"But not impossible…" Bernadette, anxiously…

"They're keeping their eyes open…Don't worry…Look, it might help to actually find out what did stop the train?...I'm sure Amy would sleep better and I know I would…" Howard looked round the table…

"You mean get off the train and go find out?..." Raj eyed him…"Wouldn't that be a bit dangerous, especially given there's a ravine below the bridge here and a rather large and still somewhat polluted lake just beyond…?"

"We won't get off the train…Not completely, anyway…"

"But cells are out…At least from the train…So we can't call to find out…" Bernadette noted…

"Not by cell…But, there is another way…And no, I don't mean we could construct a satellite dish, Raj…Sheldon's way, I mean…"

"Hmmn?..."

"He was carrying on to Penny about the virtues of telegraphy on the old trains, she said earlier…" Howard, careful look… "I.e, wired communications…"

"Telegraphs, telephones…" he noted to the puzzled looks… "The conductor said we're not at a junction place, there's no way to reach a road from here without risking your life climbing across a ravine, and radio reception is poor...But the wires are still in place and still work…We just have to tap in…We could even use the train phones once we find a tapping point…"

"But…" Raj frowned… "If we could tap the lines, couldn't whoever stopped the train do so?..."

"Assuming someone did, sure…But at least we'd have information…And we don't have to say who we are, just claim we're the train staff calling in…"

"And if it sounds like we're being deliberately held here?..." Raj eyed him…

"Then we know something we didn't…Plus we could call for help, whatever the conductor says about things being fine…"

"Are you sure you could do it?..." Bernadette, cautiously… "I mean if it were easy, wouldn't the trainspeople have done it…?"

"Yes, but they're not MIT graduate engineers…" Howard noted…

"So, everybody got their id?…" Collins, standing by two vans marked as "Emergency Services"…

"Check…" Kahid held up his "railway crew" badge…His men and the rest, Famid and his security team, Collins' three men, nodding and showing id…

"We're surveying the train and assessing damage…If passengers ask questions, answer them…If they want you to call a conductor or help them find the bathroom or with their baggage, do so, though don't let them try to leave the train…It really is too dangerous, in any case…We've time and we're not here to arouse any concerns…And when you spot Dr. Fowler or one of her friends…?"

"Report in, await instructions, avoid contact if possible until such received…" Kahid nodded…

"Just remember this fellow Cooper is a train expert…Don't get into a technical conversation with him unless you know your train lore…" Collins noted…

"My dad was an engineer for Pakistani Rail for 37 years…If we run into Dr. Cooper, I'll handle things…But I'll avoid getting too chummy…" Kahid smiled…

"Great…I see you were an excellent choice for this one…" Collins nodded… "And not to put too fine a point on it…Everyone please stand up for final pat down…No guns or personal weapons will be allowed on this assignment…Bruce?..." he waved in one of his men… "You can start with me…"

"Of course we do have your special operative on the train, just in case?..." Kahid, pleasantly…Holding arms up…The others all likewise as Bruce, tall, blonde, in dark suit proceeded along the row of men, patting each down carefully…

"As indicated in the briefing, yes…" Collins replied… "But that's only our emergency option…"

"Nice to know we've a back-up…"

"All clear…" Bruce pronounced…

"Lets go, fellas…Mr. Kahid, Mr. Famid, a word alone?..." Collins smiled at the two…Kahid pleasantly halting, Famid a hair less so…Kahid briefly nodding at one of his men who eyed him…

"Mr. Collins?..." Famid addressed him, Kahid taking a respectful stance beside his nominal superior…

"Famid…" Collins sighed… "I think you'll be sitting this one out with me…Kahid?..."

"What?..." Famid stared, gasping as Kahid took him by the neck…

"Luckily for you…" Collins noted, frowning at the squirming security chief…Held effortlessly in Kahid's grip… "We'd prefer not to have our man's cover blown…So, your uncle forgives your minor transgression so long as you amend your life from here on out…"

"You…?" Famid managed to twist enough to stare at Kahid…

"Afraid so, boss…" Kahid nodded… "But if you mind your manners, you'll come out of this in one piece…"

"We know about Minister Hamid's plans…" Collins smiled… "And frankly, we're not opposed, so long as our man Kahid runs the network from now on…Gradually moving them to our side…"

"Think of it as really being in our people's best interests in the end…" Kahid smiled at Famid… "I'll be moving our efforts toward opposing local dictatorships and native oppressors , and in time, a push for peaceful democratic participation…Something with real benefit over blowing our own people up…"

"Course we'll have to make Hamid understand the new situation but Kahid will take of that when the time comes…" Collins beamed… "Now, Famid…Ready to repent and sin no more?...And make it quick…We're on a schedule here…"

"You'd let the Minister continue his plan?..." Famid eyed Collins…

"With our slight modification, sure…" Collins nodded…"It's a fine plan, really…Just needed our little reversal of focus…And we're aware he was planning to handle most of the leadership to us anyway…"

"I may as well mention…He…" Nod at Kahid… "Is on that list…Presuming he could be taken back alive…"

"I'm honored…" Kahid grinned... "Looks like I've earned my pay for the week…Welcome abroad, boss…"

"We'll 'explain' things to the Consul General when we get back to Chicago…Besides, Kahid will be escorting Dr. Fowler to Dhrarain , at your order…" Collins eyed Famid…

"Glad to do it, boss…And as I said, like glass…" Kahid smiled…

"Right…My order…" Famid sighed…


	9. Chapter 9

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part IX…

"What?..."

"Nothing…"

"Then wipe that 'we shouldna oughta be doing this' look off your face, Hofstadter, and help me move this thing…" Penny frowned, pulling at crate…

"I'm just sayin'…" Leonard, sighing…

"We open a few, take a peek, confirm no one's hiding out in one, and close her up…What's the deal?..."

"We could damage something…"

"I wasn't here…Were you here?..." smile… "C'mon, they're insured…Probably…And we won't damage anything except Amy's crazy sister if she's in one…"

"Fine…But how do we open them?..."

"I was hopin' you'd have an angle on that…You're the science geek…"

"Actually…This is really more of an engineering problem…" Leonard noted…Arms folded…

"Right…Just find something to stick in the space…"

More of a Nebraskan can-do problem, she thought, archly...

"I can barely see in here…How am I gonna find something to pry these open?..."

"Just look round, Leonard…You know Howard would've been a better choice for this at that…With that hounddog nose of his on top of it…"

"Thanks…Arrgh!..."

"Leonard!..." Penny hurried over…Shoving crate… "Leonard!..."

"Mrs. Bain?..." Leonard's voice…Startle now winning over raw panic…

"Hello, Leonard…" Barbara, pleasantly…

"Hiya, kid…" Martin, equally pleasant… "Is that you, Penny?..." he called…

"Now…Explain to me why I have to be the one to get up on top of the train…?" Raj eyed Howard…

"Because I'm the expert…And I have to supervise the connection in here as well as you out there…" Howard, patiently…

"I sense a mild degree of racism here…" Raj frowned…

"I sense a mild degree of 'oh, God, I don't wanna stand on top of a rail car'…" Howard replied…

"I'm still wondering why I can't do it…" Bernadette, glaring…

"Sweetums…" Howard putting up hand… "If you got hurt I'd never forgive myself…While with Raj…Well, lets just say…My grief might be somewhat muted by my sense of justice…"

"Hey…" Raj, hurt tone… "You said I'm forgiven…"

"I said my sense of justice…Forgiveness deals with my sense of revenge…"

"I could go…" Stuart noted… "I mean it's not like I have a life or anyone who cares…"

"Oh, Stuart…" Bernadette, patting him… "Thanks…Ok, Raj, you're relieved…"

"Wait…" Howard shook head… "Raj may know next to nothing about wiring and connections but he's done some equipment installation with me…Stuart, do you know anything about electrical work?...Wiring?..."

"I change light bulbs at the comic book store…" Stuart, sheepishly…

"Fine, fine…I'll go…It's clearly my fate to atone for my transgressions…" Raj sighed…"Just tell me what to do and how the hell to stay on the car…"

"It's perfectly safe…We're not moving…There's no rain…" Howard noted… "And Stuart can follow you up the ladder and keep hold of a rope…So you don't get killed…Much…"

"Dude, I don't want to be killed even a little…"

"I'm sure Howie's right and you'll be fine, Raj…" Bernadette…Arch look to Howard…

Point, Ms. Fidelity…

Great…Fate sandwich of doom between my best friend's sense of 'justice' and my abandonment by the woman I love who belongs to another…Raj sighed…

And I still don't like trains…Despite the feeling of nostaglia they trigger...

"Great…Now…We just have to spring the rear car door…You and Stuart climb up…Stuart holding position and passing the wire to you…You find the pole nearest to the car…Find the wire running on the pole...Cut the wire...Oh, making sure it's not the transformer connected wire...Else that sucker will fry you like a Christmas turkey in Georgia..."

Raj staring...

"...Attach the wire to the wire…Voila…We drop a dmie…Figuratively speaking…We'll have to charge the call to a card…" Howard noted…

Not sounding so good to me, either…Stuart eyed Raj…

"So when the train stopped…I said to Barb…" Maritin continued his explanation… " 'Barb, might not hurt to check that crate of things for the grandkids'…So…"

"When did you get on the train?..." Leonard asked…

Not to mention whoelse besides the trapped friends of Sheldon Cooper would take a train from Pasadena to Chicago and another from Chicago to Boston?…

"Oh, we caught it a few stops from Pasadena…Off to see the grandkids in New England again…" Barbara, beaming at her second favorite couple, together again…You two…

Yeah, not by parachuting down from Barney's copter and cutting a hole in the roof then rewelding it and hiding in a crate…Martin thought…

"I thought your grandkids lived in Sacramento…" Leonard, puzzled…

At least last time we ran into them outside Pasadena they were visiting the grandkids in Sacramento…

"Martin's side of the family…We've always loved to travel by train…Just like Sheldon…Though of course we've done it more often…" Barbara concluded…

Yeah, nothing like a long train ride for fighting it out with Russian, NeoNazi, or British spies…Martin thought…

So many wonderful memories… Still got that bullet that Brit Steed sent me after they dug it outta him…

"Well, that's so nice we're on the same train…" Penny, happily… "Like we're neighbors on a train…From this movie our friend Stuart was telling us about…"

Much more happily having realized it was Barbara's lilac scent Sheldon had detected…

"And you two…" Barbara, eagerly… "Are you spooning back here, by any chance?..." reprooving grin...

Hmmn?... 'Spooning'…Leonard blinked…

"Oh, no…" Penny, hastily… "We're not 'spooning'…We came to check if anything was wrong back here…"

"Oh…" Barbara, a bit downcast… "So you two aren't back together?..."

"Well, we…" Leonard began…

"We're considering it…" Penny, smiling… "Just wanna be sure it's right for both of us…"

"That's nice to hear…You make such a fine couple…" Barbara nodded… "And how are Amy and Sheldon getting on?..."

"Bloom off the rose yet?..." Martin asked, chuckling…

"Martin…" Barbara, reprovingly…

"Oh, they're fine…" Leonard… "Well…" he looked about… "I guess we've pretty much checked out the whole place between us…We should probably all head back…"

"There's a good idea…Have they told you yet why the train stopped?..." Barbara asked…

"Not yet…Just that everything's fine, repair crews are on it, and they'll let us know asap…" Leonard replied, shrugging…

"Are the rest of your friends up too?..." Barbara asked… "We could go to the club car and see if we can get a little hot water…We have cocoa…"

"Oh, well I think…" Leonard began…

"That's great…" Penny, cutting him off… "I'm sure we can get some water boiled…"

They're always such sweet people…Even Sheldon gets on with them…And now we know we're Charlotte-free, I'm all for a little celebratory cocoa…

"Good enough…And I think we got some cookies…Did we pick up those sweet Italian cookies, Barb?..."

"Two boxes…" Barbara nodded…

Hmmn…Cookies?…Well…Leonard thought…

"Holy crap!..." Raj's voice…

"Hey, keep it down!..." Howard called… "Bernie?...Ask Stuart what's the matter?...Quietly…"

"Hey, Stuart!...What's the matter?" Bernadette, just outside the rear car's sprung emergency exit door, hollered…

"Bernie…Normal quiet…Not my mother's version…"

"Sorry…" Bernadette had pulled inside… "He says it's frickin' cold enough to freeze a brass monkey…"

"Really?...Haven't heard that one in a while…Tell him to tell Raj to suck it up and remember he's been to the North Pole…"

"Right…" she put her head back out….

"Stuart!...Oh, sorry…" she'd come back inside a second… And returned to address Stuart…Returning inside a moment later

"He says Raj says there's ice on the roof…"

"That's no problem for the wires…They're insulated…"

"What's that?..." Raj, trying to catch Stuart's words as the wind picked up…Howling a bit through the ravine and train bridge…

"Bernadette says Howard says the wires are insulated…" Stuart called…Trying to keep voice down…

"My hands aren't…" Raj frowned, hissing back…

Oy vey…he sighed as the first snowflakes floated past…


	10. Chapter 10

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part X…

"Looks like they all got back to bed..." Leonard to Martin, staring about the empty club car…Penny with Barbara seeking hot water at the kitchen area…

"Say…" the thought occurred… "Didn't you see Stuart back there in the baggage car?...He was checking the crates…"

Hmmn…So Barb was right insisting I shouldn't poison dart whoever was crawling around back there… Martin reflected, offering Leonard his trademark reflective old man's smile…

"Must have missed the kid in the dark…It's a big car…"

"Yeah…I suppose…" Leonard shrugged…

"Hows about that cocoa, ladies?..." Martin called, turning…

"In a mo…Give us a sec…" Barbara called back, frowning… "He's an impatient old man after eleven…" she noted to Penny…

"Eh…" he waved… "Eh, yourself…Gramps…" she mock-glared… "Ah, here's the hot tap…" she pointed…Penny grabbing pot…

"You two are the sweetest things…" Penny grinned to her, filling pot… "I love having you guys just below us…"

"It's a carefully crafted pose, dear…" Barbara smiled… "In fact we're secret government agents assigned to monitor the boys…"

"Ha, ha…Good one, Mrs. Bain…" Penny chuckled…

"Oh, all the collected gods of my people at once…!" Raj gasped, holding on tight to a metal flange, having once again slipped on the ice of the car roof…

"Raj?..." Stuart's voice, calling through what was fast becoming a minor snowstorm…His head just peeping into view at the car's end… "Howard wants to know…Did you find the wire yet?..."

"Tell Wolowitz I haven't found the freakin' pole, let alone the friggin' wire yet!...Just give me a minute…!"

"Right!..." Stuart, holding up thumb to present…

"Raj says he's still looking!..." he called down to the waiting Howard and Bernadette…

"Taking his time about it…" Howard frowned…

Ok…Raj eyed the pole to the left side near the middle of the car…There…Just another five feet…

Hmmn…He saw strange reflections and looked back…Lights…Bright lights…On the track behind…

Hmmn…Like those movies and cartoons when the train is halted at the blasted bridge and another comes right along, slamming into…

Holy crap…He blinked…

Hmmn…Amy frowned…

"Problem?..." Sheldon, sitting, in their compartment's bed eyed her…Nightcap in place…

"I should have asked Penny again…I thought I had it but..."

"I'm sure two brilliant minds like ours can deal without Penny…" he insisted…"It's only a diaphragm, after all…"

"I would have practiced more with it but I never thought I'd actually have a reason to use it…" she sighed…Smile at the end his way…

Hmmn…Sheldon sat alert…

"What?..."

"There's another train on these tracks…Something smaller than ours, I'd say, by the vibration…Perhaps a repair transport…Perhaps just a misguided engine moving to pick up cars…"

"Are you sure…?" she stared…

Future Mrs. Dr. Fowler-Cooper…He eyed her, frowning reprovingly…

As if my train-honed spidey-senses could be fooled regarding rail vibrations…

"Sorry…Sheldon?...Is it going to hit us…?" she grabbed a sofa cushion, moving to place it to protect him…He feeling the wall beside him with a hand, carefully…

"No, it's slowing…It's either spotted us or it's a repair car…"

She gave a faint gasp, dropping cushion…

"There, it's stopped…You know, if I'd thought it was going to hit, you'd be out that window now, falling to the ravine bottom, with cushion…" he noted…Indicating their compartment window… "Though the chances of your survival would only have been about 60% given the height…Much better odds than trying to use a sofa cushion to reduce the impact of a locomotive under way…Shall we see if the others noticed?...And had similar reactions?...Bernadette might be able to help you with the diaphragm…And Howard certainly could…"

"I suppose…And thanks for the detailed survival plan, sweetness…"

"Thank you for the panicky attempt to save me…Which, given your more limited train experience was a fairly logical instinctive effort…Beloved…" he beamed…

"Of course in suggesting Howard, I did mean solely in my possessively jealous presence…" he noted…

"Thank you, Moonpie…" she beamed…


	11. Chapter 11

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XI…

Pounding heart gradually settling…Raj stared from his perch on the roof of the end car through the light snow back toward the now slowly approaching car…Clearly either an engine to push them or some kind of repair car…

"Raj!..."Stuart's voice from the end of the car…Head briefly peeping up… "Howard says you may as well come back down…It looks like the repair crew is here…Better hurry…"

"Coming…" high-pitched squeal… "Er, coming…" he fought it back down…

Snow falls gently round…

Hmmn…Almost like those Currier and Ives winter scene prints Mummy and Daddy have in the house for some bizarre reason…

Whoops…He nearly slipped on the iced metal…Hand flat on the surface, pulled away hastily in reaction to the electric shock of the cold…

I think hurry is not the word here…Whether the train guys take exception to my having climbed their car roof or no…

After all, I'm sure upon reflection they'd prefer I return safely rather than forcing them to spend the night here searching for my mangled remains in the ravine…

Here they come…He caught sight of the repair crew in white worksuits starting to make their way to the rear car door, scrunching down…

Best not I think to have them see me right now…Slip in after they get in…

Assuming this lethal white powder…He eyed the snow…Doesn't turn into a deadly blizzard…

I wonder if I'd be the first New Delhian ever found frozen…At least on Lake Erie…

So aptly named…He looked to the silent grey lake…If one goes for the homonym…Eerie…

They're taking a while…He sighed, looking over…

Safety first I suppose…He turned to look at the telephone/telegraph pole he's sought…

Well, long as I'm up here…And they don't seem to be interested in the roof…He pulled out the length of insulated wire Howard had given him…

Now which one would be the transformer cable?...I could be quick fried, then frozen…No doubt a yummy treat for scavenger birds or ferile dogs enterprising enough to clamber up here…

"Sheldon?..." Amy sighed… "I really don't think this is working out…"

"But Amy…?" puzzled look…

"No…" she shook head…

"Are you sure?..." he eyed her rather disconsolately… "I was sure things were going well…"

"No, it's just not working out…" she sat up… "I think it's Penny I need…"

"But, sweetness…" he stared… "I did everything I could think of…"

"Sheldon…I'm the one trying to wear this damned thing…It's not right…" sigh…

He leaned over… "Well…Of course we could…Do without?...Amykins?...My precious…" slight stroke of back…Hand moving…To front…

"Right, who needs it…" she bent over, kissing…Then suddenly pulled back…

"Wait…" she put up a hand…

"Hmmn?...Amy, aren't you aroused?...I really thought I was getting the hang of arousal…" he looked at her…

"Believe me, Moonpie…That's not the problem…It's just, I don't know if we should proceed…I don't think I want to find myself pregnantly vomiting on my wedding day or in front of Gran while we're visiting…"

"Oh…Right…"

"Though on the other hand…" grin… "Given most of my family won't believe I'm really involved with, let alone getting married to a studly hunk of genius like you…It would be a clincher as to our having actually done the nasty…"

"Absolutely…" he nodded, eagerly…Reaching…

"Wait…" he paused now…

"What?..."

"Momma…" he eyed her…

"Momma?..." she stared…

Oh, right…My religious fanatic mother-in-law…Who could happily see me shoot someone dead but would likely freak to realize her baby had impregnated pre-nuptually…Though, come on…In that neck of Yahooville, pregnant brides must be thick as flies…

Though it would be likely different being her baby leading said pregnant bride before the congregation…

"We'd better see Penny…" he sighed…

"Or Howard…" Amy suggested…Sly smile to the wall at Sheldon's narrow frown…

"Of course I'm sure Bernadette knows how to wear one but it would take half an hour to overcome her Catholic guilt at admitting it and my burning, raging loins can't wait that long…" she noted matter of factly…

Dhrarainian fighter jet above Pennsylvannia…

"Bashir?..." Faisal spoke as loudly as he could into the helmet headset… "Good thing we were flying west, gaining time, eh?"

"Most fortunate, Highness…" Bashir, in forward, pilot's seat, replied… "Ready yourself, Highness, it will be time very shortly…"

"Right…Say…You know is it really necessary to eject and destroy the plane?..." sigh… "I'll cover the cost of course outta my own funds but I feel kinda terrible wasting 200 million like this…"

"If we land as our flight plan indicates Highness…And believe me, we do not want to veer from the flight plan in an Arabian fighter jet in US airspace…You'll have to deal with protocol…If you eject alone…The assumption is likely to be made that you are some sort of terrorist…I can't let you take such a chance…And the repercussions as I've explained…"

"I know…" Faisal sighed… "If we both go and the plane is destructed we can claim mechanical failure…And because of the Stealth technology the Americans won't let it become a big issue…"

"Their Pentagon and the administration would not wish it be known the last administration handed such technology over to us…However strong our alliance may be…"

"You're sure though we can make it harder for them to spot us ejecting?..."

"It's very good technology, Highness…Your father paid Haliburton for the best…"

"Yeah…Well, thanks again, Bashir…And please remember I take full responsibility whatever happens…It's great of you to go along on this…"

"Well, Highness…Thirty years ago when your father was a young lad of forty-five, a young and enthusiastic if not well-versed in intelligence skills, agent was allowed to accompany him on a special mission involving the smuggling of a certain lady into Dhrarain, over the objections of his father and hers…I was that young man, Highness…And though I was nearly executed and lost several years promotion, I never regretted being a bit of a fool for love…"

"Thanks…Are we ready?..."

"Coming up on one minute, Highness…If we are separated on descent, Highness…Good luck…" holding up of thumb to view…

"And to you…"

"Thirty seconds…Ready yourself, Highness…"

"Would you do the line, Bashir?..."

"Certainly, Highness… I rather love 'The Prisoner' series myself… Be seeing you!..."

Explosive charges blast canopy…


	12. Chapter 12

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XII…

"Shouldn't we wait for Rajesh?..." Bernadette suggested as Howard urged a hasty retreat to the club car in light of the arrival of the repair crew…

"I think we'd best not be caught fooling around back here…He'll be ok for a few minutes…I'll slip back and get him soon as the coast is a little clearer…" Howard replied…

"Yeah, but wasn't it icy up there?...I'm sure these people would understand we just wanted to get help…"

"I'll stay…" Stuart volunteered… "I'm sure Raj is ok but I can get him down quick or explain things to the crew if I need to…"

"No, thanks, Stuart…Bernie…If you want me to stay and get him for you, I'll stay…" Howard sighed…

"Howard…That's not what I mean and you know it…" Bernadette, tearing up a bit now… "Fine, Stuart, you watch out for him…"

"I said I'd stay…" Howard frowned… "I'll stay…"

"Guys…" Stuart urged… "I think we're about out of…"

"Excuse me, folks…" Kahid, in his white work suit, badge displayed, smiling at the group… "I'm afraid you can't stay back here in this car…We'll be a little busy for a bit…Could you return to your own cars?...We'll have this resolved in just a bit…"

"Sure, sorry…Just wanted to see what was going on…" Howard, smoothly…

Hmmn…Intense looking fellow of the rather distaff side of the Semitic family I'd say…

"Yeah…" Bernadette, tersely…

"Thanks for getting in here…" Howard continued…Stepping back…Guys, time to go… "We thought we might be stuck here all night…"

"No prob…We'll have this set to rights in a jiffy…" Kahid smiled…The other two team members from his own group just joining him from the rear likewise smiling…

"Great…Well, have a good night and thanks again…" Howard nodded…Stuart giving half wave…Both doing their best to urge Bernadette along, she reluctantly letting herself be pulled in their wake…All three moving to the door to the next car and heading out…

"Was that a…?" one of Kahid's now three companions eyed him…

"A fellow American, 'Tom'…" Kahid beamed… "Now that our likeably curious and commendably take-charge passengers are settled and content, lets get to work seeing what's needed to repair this train…" stern glance at end…

"Right… 'George'…" 'Tom' sighed…

"What about Raj?"...Bernadette hissed on entering the next car after Howard had put up a hand for silence while they crossed over…

"We'll take care of him in just a bit…I think we have bigger problems…" Howard shook head… "I need to get to my laptop…"

"What?..." Stuart eyed him…

"I think I recognized those two guys with the one who spoke to us…I need to check…"

"Check what?..." Bernadette frowned…

"Just let me check…I'm probably totally wrong…Paranoid…"

"But Raj…?"

"If he means so much to you…!" Howard shouted…Cutting off in mid-sentence, staring at her horrified, stricken face…

"I'm sorry…Bernie…" he called after her as she ran for their car… "Bernie!..."

"So…Here you are…" Sheldon, frowning at those derelict of all sense of duty…

"See…" he eyed Amy… "I told you I smelled cocoa…" Renewed glare at Leonard and Penny, seated with cocoa mugs…Next to Leonard another male figure…Hmmn?...

"Amy…Sheldon…" Barbara, bringing mugs over… "How nice to see you two again…Hows about a cup of cocoa?..."

"Sheldon…" Martin raised mug…. "Hows the boy?...You doing any more with that escape harness thing?..."

"Mr. Bain…?" Sheldon… "Mrs. Bain?..." Amy… In chorus…

"They were on the train all…Well, most…Of the time…" Leonard explained… "They were looking around the baggage car too…Alls clear there by the way…"

"Off to see the grandkids in New England…" Barbara explained… "Isn't this a wonderful train…?"

"I thought your grandchildren lived in Sacramento?..." Sheldon…

"Martin's live in New England…" Leonard noted…

"How oddly coincidental…" Amy, brightly… "Well, no matter…Squeeze over, bestie…I've a question about diaphragm installation…"

Ok…Lake Erie below…Wanna avoid that, for sure…Faisal noted…Pulling parachute lines…

And there's the tracks and that must be the train…He peered…Nicely done, Bashir…

Now if I can just avoid those trees and that ravine…And if I could slow down just a tad…

Well, can't have everything…He sighed…As he passed over the ravine and struck a tree slightly with his side…

Hmmn…He eyed the rails below…As he dangled from the lines now tangled in the trees he'd grazed…

What is that?...A 100 foot drop?...He felt the branches giving way…Plunk, plunk…

Well…OW!...Just 70 now, I'd say…

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XIII…

Ok…Wires connected…Just call me young Tom Edison…Raj thought…

Or perhaps Tom's delightful Indian cousin from New Delhi…

All right…Now if I can just make it back to the car, slip in…Whoa…

Slip…That fatal word…He sighed, hanging on to a protruding flange for dear life…Legs dangling over the train's right side…

Freezing my hands on this thing and my but dangling against the train car…

"Anyway what brought you out?..." Leonard eyed Sheldon, seated next to him, sipping cocoa…

"Female troubles…" tersely to Leonard's blink, indicating Amy and Penny across from them, Penny tracing a diagram on napkin with pen borrowed from the club counter… "No offense, ma'am…" Sheldon nodded to Barbara who with Martin had taken the booth across from the two young couples…

"It's fine, Sheldon…Always best to ask about these things, sweetheart…" she smiled… "The other boys and that nice girl Howard sees are here with you, aren't they?..."

"They wanted to see things at the other end of the train…" Leonard explained…

"Well, we should be underway soon…"Sheldon noted… "Another car's come up…Either to push us or bring a repair crew…"

"Really?..." Leonard looked at him… "Did the conductor tell you?..."

"Felt the vibration…"

"He's very good on vibration…" Amy noted, with smile…

"Amy…" Penny, hissing…Nervous glance to the Bains' booth…

"I thought I felt something…" Martin noted, with friendly beam…Eyeing Barbara…She nodding slightly…

"We ought to take a gander ourselves…And leave these young folks to have a little chat without the grandfolks…"

"Oh…" Penny, sincerely… "We were enjoying it, really…We never get much chance to hang out with you guys…" she turned to Leonard… "Say, lets go up with them and see what's what?...You got the picture, Amy?..." she pushed the napkin over…

"If you want…" he nodded, rising out of the booth…

"I believe so…Sheldon?..." Amy moved the napkin over… "See where we went wrong?..."

"My goodness…Well, we were close…" he noted…

"I still can't believe your mother never explained this to you…" Penny shook her head… "I always thought that's what Moms did…"

"My mother, after Father's abandonment and fleecing of what was left of the family fortune meant the ending of her carefree days as an indifferent socialite who much preferred to leave her appearance-challenged children in the care of nannies, Dickensian French schools, and, thank God for my luck, our Gran, in her latter existence as a rigid, God-and-sex fearing, yet still indifferent parent, preferred not to discuss birth control outside of…'If you or Charlotte ever engage in sex outside of or in wedlock you deserve whatever misery you get'…Which may explain a few things about my poor sister…" she sighed…

"Sheldon?..." Penny, after a long stare at Amy's troubled, then beaming, with arm round Sheldon, face…Leaned over… "If you ever let this girl down, I will hunt you down like a dog…A big dog…Who smells hot dogs on you…"

Barbara eyeing Martin who gave slight shrug…No point in getting the kids to wondering…

"Well, shall we go?..." she got out of their booth…Martin following…

"We may as well go too, Moonpie…" Amy suggested… "Perhaps the repair crew could benefit from your expertise…"

Leonard rolling eyes at Penny's smiling, reproving glance…

Yeah, they'll love a lecture from Sheldon on how to do their jobs…

"Yes…And maybe they'll let us see the repair car…Or if it is an engine…?" hopeful tone…

"It's a bit late to blow the whistle, lambkins…" Amy noted… "Maybe you can do that again tomorrow in the engine car…I don't think the restraining order the conductor on the other train issued applies here…"

"Well, at least he's not panicking about Charlotte's coming to get him now…" Penny hissed to Leonard's sigh…

Ah, for a little upper body strength right now…Raj thought ruefully, hanging on to the flange…Feet dangling on the side of the train…

Lets see…I'd say…He stared down… If I let go…And it's a certainty I will within three minutes…I should just clear the tracks and fall about…Hmmn…

45?...No, more like 60 feet…

Of course the snow while not much yet, with the underbrush, might break my fall…But I'd say my chances of breaking my neck or back or some other fatal injury are pretty good…

Behooving me to risk a possible fine, short jail sentence, or worse, social embarrassment…He tensed and gave his best swing, kicking at the car side window with his feet…

Well, that hurt without doing the slightest bit of good…Wait…Krishna, the thing's open a bit…He shoved his feet down and pulled…The window slid up…

Ok…Just call me James West, the appropriate 19th century action hero for a train in the Mid- if not wild, West…Now if I can just…Swing in…

Whoa!...He gasped, losing grip…While feeling himself pulled inside…Feet first…

"Do you think Raj's ok?..." Bernadette, nervously…

"He's fine…" Stuart nodded, eyeing the screen of Howard's laptop just outside Howard's and Bernadette's berth… "Howard'll get him back in…Hmmn…" he stared…

"What?..." Bernadette looked at the screen…Photos stored from the website for "Israel's Most Wanted…"

"Those two guys…" Stuart pointed at a couple of prominent photos, recently moved up a few notches following recent depletions in leadership among a leading terrorist organization… "They do look like two of the guys in the crew back there…Though, it's not likely they'd be trying something on a train at some unimportant little bridge…If this were Penn or Grand Central Station or the Chicago terminus, maybe…"

"Howard's pretty careful to memorize faces of these guys…" Bernadette noted…

"What?...Why?..." Stuart blinked at her…

"Why?..." she stared at him… "If a family of serial killers were chasing your family relentlessly and killing them off as fast as they could catch 'em wouldn't you try to get familiar with their faces?..."

"I suppose…Though Howard could just be a little edgy…Us too…" he noted to her frown…

"Maybe they contract out…Charlotte probably wouldn't draw the line at sleeping with terrorists to get Sheldon…Or maybe the North Koreans want Leonard again…Or there's always the chance they want me for a bioterror weapon…"

"I thought you worked with yeast…" Stuart stared…

"Yeah…Well, I've worked with other things…And yeast could be pretty dangerous in the wrong hands, mister…"

"Well, I doubt Charlotte's taken to hiring terrorists…Or that North Korea wants Leonard…" he closed the laptop… "My guess is they just happen to look like these guys and we're profiling, instinctively and with good intentions, but still profiling…"

"Howie wouldn't do that…Lots of times I thought some guys we met were the same guys as on the site…But he always thanked me for the concern and pointed out they weren't the guys…He wouldn't jump to paranoid conclusions…"

"He did say he thought he…"

"Well…Lets see what he says after he gets Raj…In the meantime, lets go back and see if we can find out what they're up to…"

"It's a shame I can't get any connection out here…" Stuart sighed at the laptop… "But Bernie, I think Howard wanted us to stay put…"

"If everything's ok, there's no danger and the repair guys will just send us back if they catch us…If not, we might get some information…Come on…You've done the cloak and dagger with Sheldon…" she beamed…

"Just cloak and hat, no dagger…" Stuart shook head…But rose…Opening berth curtain and tucking laptop securely back in Howard's lockable briefcase…

"So…All this defending of Charlotte?..." she smiled at him as they headed out… "Have you been seriously considering that match-up between you two Sheldon and Granny Margaret thought up?..."


	13. Chapter 13

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XIV…

Ok…Faisal viewed the ground below through the snow-crusted wreath of tree branches… Slipped down to 35 or so feet I'd say…Not bad…Just gotta swing a bit to free myself…

Whoa…He groaned slightly…Jerked to a stop…

Well, down to 25 or so feet…Progress…I could probably try cutting myself free now…

"Highness!..." Carefully modulated hiss from below…He peered down…

"Hey, Bashir!..." he called down… "Great to hear you made it…Are you ok?..."

"Fine, sir!...Can you get free?..."

"Sure…Nearly there…I was just about to…"

Branches tearing…Whoa…

"…Cut myself down…" he looked over to Bashir from his near-ground position…Now about seven feet up, tangled in the wreck of a number of torn branches…

"Are you all right, sir?..." Bashir moved branches aside, standing now by Faisal's feet…

"All things considered, pretty good…You know this is working out better than I expected…Considering I'd never parachuted from a high-attitude jet by ejector seat…Or parachuted at all, actually…"

"You've done splendidly, Highness…May I assist you?..."

"Yeah, I think you'll have to…I'll pretty tangled up here…"

"Certainly, sir…Hold still just a moment…"

"Bashir?..."

"Highness?..."

"You think you could sort of mention this to Amy…Not in a big deal kinda way…Just sorta slip it into the conversation…I mean that I ejected out of a high-attitude jet and all…Not that I wanna seem like some macho hero…Just…You know…It might impress her a little…What I did for love and all that…I mean, I gotta have something to throw in the kitty against Cooper besides a few nice houses, a fantastic research facility, and several hundred billion…None of which I got but through luck…"

"I understand, Highness…I'll do my best…Ah, there, hold tightly to that large branch, sir…To slip it into the conversation, when opportunity allows…But do not be too hard on yourself…You have many…"

Whoa…Faisal came down, holding branch as instructed…

"…appealing qualities…" Bashir finished…

Hmmn…Well, not bad…Faisal beamed…Standing wobbily as Bashir began assisting him with removal of the parachute harness…

"Thanks, Bashir…That's great of you to do that…Maybe if we do coffee or something on the train there'll be a chance…And thanks for getting me down…" Hmmn…He stumbled…

"Careful, Highness…"

"Do you have the tickets?..."

"Right here in my wallet, sir…"

"Great…Now, do we go to the next station or should we try and board here?..."

"The train remains in position here, Highness…A transit report on the jet's radio from the traffic I monitored before we ejected stated there was unspecified damage to the track ahead…They may be here a while yet…"

"Oh…Hmmn…" he put up a hand to Bashir's quick attempt to assist… "Just a bit stiff…Maybe a few bruises…So what's the plan if we board here?...The staff's not likely to buy a story that we walked down to meet them…"

"I would recommend we simply board, show our tickets when stopped, and if questioned, attempt bribery of a conductor, Highness…"

"I don't think they'll bribe very easily if they think we're some sort of terrorists or something…People are a bit edgy these days, justified I guess…"

"Perhaps not…In which case, leave it to me, Highness…"

"No rough stuff, Bashir…I don't want anyone hurt…"

"A quick and safe drugging…We then stamp our tickets ourselves…I put the man or woman in a secure place until our mission is complete with a little something to apologize for the trouble put to…Simplicity itself, Highness…"

"Safe?..."

"Absolutely, Highness…And it will leave them without a memory of our encounter…A very effective drug, Highness…A CIA development on sodium pentothal…"

"Well…" Faisal brushed himself off… "Only if it's absolutely necessary…"

"Of course, Highness…I think the easiest trail to the tracks is this way…" Bashir indicated with pointing finger a faint opening among the trees…Quickly dissolving into the darkness…

"Great…Lead the way…Say, Bashir?..."

"Highness…?"

"Could I see that photo again…The wedding thing…?"

"Here you are…" Bashir handed over a somewhat handled photo…Leonard Hofstadter with Amy at a wedding dance…

"You think she likes this Hofstadter guy?...Allah, it's uncanny how much we look alike…" Faisal sighed at the picture…

"I believe they are friends only, Highness…But she does seem fond of him…"

"Yeah…Well, lets hope it's a good sign…Though I'm sure you're right…Amy is true blue, I know…She'd never cheat on the guy she's with…Bashir?..." new sigh as they began tramping into the woods…

"Highness?..."

"Really think I've got a shot against Cooper?...Honestly?..."

"One never knows, Highness…The lady wasn't aware of your feelings…Dr. Cooper, from what we've learned of him, has sometimes shown a tendency to take her for granted a bit…And her regard for Dr. Hofstadter suggests she is not adverse to your appearance…"

"Yeah…But she never hooked up with him…And Cooper seems to finally be less grant-taking…"

"Well…Highness…In love, as in politics and war, one must take risks…And, if I may…?"

"Sure…Uh, at ease..."

"My romantic young friend… " the rugged features in warm smile…"Remember…It truly is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all…"

Dhrarain, Office of the First Deputy Prime Minister…

Hamid rose to greet the returned Roger Sterling, Jr…Shaking hands…Both taking seats across Hamid's desk…

"Roger, my friend…So glad you could come so quickly…I hope your quick visit home was not too tiring…"

"Life of an assistant consul, Hamid…State keeps us on our toes…" Sterling smiled… "So?...What's the urgent matter?..."

"Yes…" Hamid, thoughtfully… "A small problem has developed with our little engagement party…"

"Oh…?" noncommittal…

"It seems Prince Faisal…Against my advice and attempts at restraint…Has decided to take matters into his own hands with the help of one of our more rogue security personnel…"

"Ah, Bashir again, eh?...He's a pistol, that guy…Fine operative though…So Fai decided to get involved, eh?...What, did he email the chick?..."

"A bit worse…He took our most advanced fighter jet and flew to the US to intercept her on the train she and her party are on…The one we were engaged in 'meeting' during its 'accidental layover'…"

"He did?..." Sterling, amused surprised… "Well, gotta hand it to him…I wasn't sure the little guy had it in him…Say…He did make it, didn't he?..." slight concern…

"The jet went down over Lake Erie enroute on a supposed flight in for maintenance…Both pilot and copilot ejected safely but are so far unaccounted for…"

"Whoa…Kid likes to make a splash for his girls, eh?...Joke intended…" grin… "That must've set your treasury back a bit…"

"He made arrangements to pay for the loss…And the Stealth technology on-board was destroyed by the explosion…"

"Better and better…Hamid, I don't think this is so bad as all that…In fact I'm rather thinking it could play to our advantage…" Sterling smiled… "So long of course as the kid doesn't get himself killed or arrested…And Bashir should take care of him there…The lady in question's gotta be impressed…"

"Yes, but this could seriously complicate matters, Roger…"

"We've got a good team in the field on our side…And Collins, my fellow State Department employee…" amusedly raised tone for any listening devices… "…should be able to handle it…I'll put in a call just to have his head up, though…Your boys can be counted on of course…" smile…

"Certainly…Still…"

"These little things always crop up, Hamid…" Roger, reassuringly… "And it'll look even more like Fai ordered the whole thing start to finish as we wanted anyway…Tres romantic for the media and the global internet idiots…No big deal…"

"If you think so…But I dislike loose ends…"

"So do we…But they crop up, you take care of them…Heck we still have the girl, Cooper, and his friends to consider…Now if they give trouble, there's a loose end that's probably a little harder to deal with…"

"Well, once we have Dr. Fowler in hand…And induce her to accept her new position…The other Americans and that Indian fellow with the odd mutism problem…"

"Yeah…I saw that in the report…I love that guy..." Stirling chuckled…

"…should be unable to interfere…"

"Depending on how well you handle the lady's 'inducement'…" stare…

"We're well-versed in inducing young women to accept what's best for them and the greater good…" Hamid smiled… "And Faisal's a nice boy…He's sure to make her very happy…As much as will still be possible for her…"

Stirling wiggling fingers in friendly warning gesture…Lets not get in waters too deep, Hamid…

"Given that she'll naturally miss friends and her country, of course…" Hamid quickly added…

"Good enough…And given we're prepared to go the limit to ensure success…" hard stare… "Lets hope for the best of all outcomes for all…By the way, official thanks for your efficient action in apprehending those terrorists the other day…You'll be getting something more formal shortly but just wanted to make it personal…"

"Always glad to do our bit to support the war on Terror, Roger…" Hamid nodded…

"Hmmn…Yeah…Of course, there have been rumors of you wanting to set up an independent shop…" Roger smiled, open-faced… "But we're all sure…At State…That that's nothing but rumor…And good business for drawing the freaks in…We look to see great things coming out of that…"

"Of course…" Hamid…Smile somewhat frozen…

"I knew we could count on you, old friend…Anyway why would you want to go rogue when we're happy to have you running the show behind the kid, right?..."

"Absolutely…" beaming, frozen smile…

Shit…I know an offer I can't refuse when I hear one…


	14. Chapter 14

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XV…

"Thanks, dude…" Raj sighed to Howard as he caught breath and tried to warm near frozen hands while Howard closed the car window… "I could've died out there just now…"

"Glad I heard you opening that window…"Howard noted… "Sorry we had to leave you out there…There wasn't time…And I didn't realize it was so bad out…"

"It's fine…So are they fixing or pushing us?...I couldn't see much out there as to the tracks or any damage to the train…" slap of hands together…Krishna, it was damned cold out there…

"Looks like they're trying a repair of whatever…Though don't have the word yet…"

"Hey, I nearly forgot…" Raj held up his spool of wire…Tucked in trousers' pocket while trying to make it back… "I managed to hook up the wire to what seemed to be a telephone line…"

"Really?...Great…" Howard took the spool… "If we could find a phone or maybe wire it into my laptop…Dial-up style like back in the olden days…" grin…

"Like high tech Boy Scouts making a fire and all that on a camping trip…" Raj grinned back… "Say…" smile… "You were quite the little macho man pulling me in like that…Do I owe thanks to NASA or your mom for all that training carrying her after she collapsed that time?..."

"I've no doubt…I should make a workout video with her…'JM (Jewish Mom) Extreme'…" Howard nodded… "Raj, I am sorry…"

"Hey, I involuntarily volunteered…" smile… "And if you had been just a little willing to see me freezing my brown patuska off out there…I'd have to say, you'd reason…" sigh… "I'm the one who should be saying I'm sorry, Howard…Which I am…For the hurt I caused you…"

"It didn't tickle…" Howard, wan grin…

"I can't be sorry for caring for Bernadette, you know that…" Raj, steady look… "But what happened was an accident and not her fault…"

"Just sorta tripped and fell into her lady parts…As our Coopman would say…" smile, hard stare…

"Sorta…" stare returned… "If you'd like details…"

"God, no…Just a promise…" Howard, quietly…

"I'd never want to hurt you, man…" Raj nodded… "And I'll do my best to avoid that…More than that wouldn't be honest…"

"Right…Well, lets find that phone if we can or I'll go for my laptop…" Howard, coolly…

Guess I'd best avoid hanging on the train's side for the duration of the trip, Raj thought… I'm feeling I might not be heard next time…

"Uh-oh…I hear company…" Howard, looking ahead to the end of the car… "Back up, quick and out the door…But keep playing out the wire…Toss it under the seats, maybe they won't see…We'll find a phone in one of the cars further front…Hurry!..."

Raj stepped back hastily, tossing out wire from the spool, trying to shove it under the seats to his right…Hitting the front door of the car as Howard hissed… "Door!"…

"Right, got that…" he opened the door, pulling wire along…Howard following…They shut the door just as the rear door opened…

"Ok, next car…" Howard urged…Raj turning to fumble with the door, opening…They rushed back..

"Keep playing that line…We'd better…Careful!..." he indicated the coach seats…Hmmn…

No one?...Where are the coach folks…?

"They must have evacuated everyone here to the front cars…" he looked round…

"I'm nearly out of line!..." Raj hissed… "But there's the phone…" he pointed…

"Great…Lets see if I can hook this sucker up…"

Sound from the rear door…

"Here they come…!" Raj noted, pointing…

"No time…Toss the wire under there…" Howard indicated a seat… "If we need it later, it's there…Come on…" he urged…

"Ok, ok…" Raj dropped the wire, kicking it under the seat suggested… "Lets hope it's not…"

"Wait…!" Howard, at the new car's front door put up a hand… "I can't get it open…It's been locked…!"

"What?..."

"Ok…No prob…Just act casual and have a seat…We'll just tell them we were in the bathroom and missed the evac order…They'll open the door and send us back…It's cool…Unless I was right about those two I saw…" he noted…

"What?..."

"Two of the repair crew looked like guys I saw on an Israeli terrorist watch list…I asked Stuart to check the stored images when I sent him and Bernie back…It's probably just paranoia…But with the train stopping so suddenly and all…"

"What?..."

"Sorry…I said I thought it was probably paranoia…I don't mean to profile anyone…"

"No…I mean What? as in you're a Jew and I'm an Indian and we are prime terrorist targets on a mysteriously stopped train…Not meaning to profile but just in case lets get the hell out of here!…"

"Raj…There's nowhere to go but out the windows…Just have a seat and…"

"Raj…?"

"You folks are up late…" a conductor, a tall, slender, African-American female of about thirty, eyed the group…Leonard, Penny, Sheldon, Amy, Barbara, and Martin in the rear…

A short, solid fellow of Hobbit aspect in t-shirt and shorts, a rather out-of-his-league taller blonde beauty behind him, likewise in t-shirt and shorts…Matching Yoda t-shirts, the conductor shaking her head…A tall, skinny rather elfin fellow in "Twas the Night Before Christmas" nightcap and nightshirt…A shorter, brunette eerily resembling the Wicked Witch of the West from "The Wizard of Oz" on a happier day fondly holding the tall elf's arm, she in nightgown and robe…Two elderly types, a lovely silver-streaked blonde in robe and nightgown and a lean white-haired older gent in pyjamas and robe…All regarding her with a mix of embarrassment and curiosity…

"Just trying to find out what happened…" Leonard noted… "We heard the repair crew come up…Will we be underway again soon?..."

"Yes…And more important…" Sheldon stepped forward… "Is there a chance I could see the other car?...Is it an engine to push us?..."

"Can't say…No…There's an engine if we need it but they're trying to fix the problem first…" the woman noted, pushing her conductor's cap back on her head… "Now, all questions being answered, hows about heading back?...There are a lot of sleeping people about here and the crew is busy…You can use the club car if you want to stay up…"

"My fiancée is an expert on trains…" Amy cut in…"I'm sure your repair people would want his take on the situation…"

"Hmmn, gee…No…" the conductor shook her head… "Now I really have to order you folks to go back…Now…" she pointed…

"Best to do as the lady says, kids…" Martin noted… "She's just doing 'safety first' and she's the boss…"

"Sure…No problem…" Leonard sighed… "Come on, fellas…" he turned…

Sheldon moping a bit…Amy sighing, urging him along…Now, Moonpie…

"What about Howard and the others?..." Penny hissed, as the group reluctantly turned back…

"We'll figure out something…" Leonard whispered back… "Anyway, if they get caught, the crew'll just send them back…"

C'mon, guys…He raised voice, waving…

"Just wanted to see how things were getting' on…" Martin with Barbara in the rear now of the retreating group, noted to the conductor eyeing them… "Have a good night, miss…" Barbara, careful stare…Pausing as Amy and Sheldon followed the others out…

"Let me help you with the door here…" the conductor moved up to the Bains…Taking the car door…

"Uncle Martin?...Aunt Barb?..." she hissed… "What the heck are you doing here?..."

"Bernadette!..." Stuart, harsh whisper…

"I'm fine…!" hissed return…

"When you said 'cloak and dagger' I thought you were kdding…Mostly!"

"If you know another way to get past that conductor, I'm listenin'…" she noted… "Now be careful…I can't see the edge of the track on the bridge here very well…Keep that rope tight…" she looked at the rope running from her to Stuart and back to where she'd had Stuart secure it on the window they'd exited the train from… "We just have to get past her, climb into an open window or doorway at the next car or the one after…Or cut it open with Howard's drill and force it open…And there we are…"

"Great…" he sighed…

"Just don't look down…And you'll be fine…The rope'll…Whoa!..." she stumbled…

"Oh, boy!...Oh, boy!..." he grabbed at the rope with one hand, the side of the car with the other…

"Ok…Sorry…I looked down…" she noted…Holding the track, legs dangling… "Just pull me up a bit…Lemme get a grip on the rope…There…!" she swung feet back up onto the track… "Fine…Good as new…" she carefully stood up, Stuart trying to assist…

"Like I said, don't look down…" she noted…

"Be very careful, Highness…" Bashir offered a hand, pulling Faisal up on to the track… "The track here is rather slick…Once we reach the bridge over the ravine, we'd better use a line till we can find a window or door I can force…"

"Right…Easy does it…" Faisal agreed, edging along after the security officer…

"You know it's always neat to see snow…I mean we have the ski slopes back home but there's something so nice about the natural stuff, even at night…With the moon shining on it and all…" Faisal noted…Bashir carefully moving along…

"Very pretty indeed, Highness…But please, take care…"

"I hope Amy won't miss it too much…She lived in Maine a long time, you know…"

"But gave it up to live in sunny California…Point in your favor, I'd say, Highness…"

"True enough…" Faisal beamed…As they edged to the bridge, train, led by the engine just beyond…Bashir cautious watching for any signs of surveillance or recognition…

"All right, Highness…" he put up a hand… "The crew seems occupied…Lets secure a rope…And once we are on the bridge…Extreme prejudice, Highness…"

"Right…"

Bashir locked a heavy clip to which a strong nylon cord was attached to the track…Digging a bit to allow it to encircle the rail…Securing another clip on the cord to his parachute harness…Passing the cord back to Faisal who secured a clip further down the line to himself…

"Again, very careful, sir…" Bashir cautioned…

"Check…Lets hope they don't start the train now…" Faisal noted…

"If by any chance, jump, Highness…" reply…

"Check…"

Dhrarain…US Embassy…Office of the Assistant Consul…

Roger Stirling Jr, at desk in elegant suit with tie in button-down collar with clip…Eyeing his laptop screen…

On which the non-committal face of Collins, still in the transport van, appeared…Famid, somewhat more uncertain, beside him…

"Gentlemen…" Stirling addressed the screen… "All going well?..."

"The crew is aboard, sir…" Collins nodded… "So far no problems…They are proceeding as planned…And Mr. Famid..." he turned a bit to eye Famid… "Has made confession and agreed to do penance…"

"Always good to hear…Famid…All is forgiven…" Roger smiled… "So long as you remain a steadfast convert to the True Faith…I should tell you Minister Hamid is thoroughly onboard with the program…"

"So Mr. Collins explained…" Famid, cautiously… "Naturally I was…"

"…Only following orders…" Roger, smiling, nodded… "Always the best course of action for a career man…And I look to see your career being long and successful defending the interests of Dhrarain and her most faithful ally…And of course your new King and Queen, if and when the sad event of His Majesty's demise…Hmmn…"

Speak of the old devil…He eyed an open message box…

"My deepest personal and official regrets, Famid…But long live King Faisal and his…Interesting…Queen…Collins?…Now doubly imperative Dr. Fowler understands where her duty to her country lies…" he eyed Collins who nodded…

"And whatever you do, don't let His Majesty the kid get shot or smeared by that train…" intent stare…


	15. Chapter 15

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XVI…

"Stuart?...Are we past her yet?...Can you see?..." Bernadette hissed…

"No…" he peered, stretching…Pulling back quickly… "She's talking with the Bains…The other guys have gone back into the next car…"

"Ok…Funny how they showed up here…" Bernadette noted… "Say…?" she looked back to Stuart… "You don't think Charlotte hired them?...To snoop on Sheldon?..."

He shrugged…Shivering a bit… "Who knows?...Maybe…They always seemed like nice folks, though…Can't we move it a little…I don't know about you but I'm freezing here…"

"Sure…Sorry…Maybe it's a coincidence…They were with the guys, it looked…" she moved carefully along…Uh-oh…

"What's the matter?..." Stuart hissed, seeing her stop and peer ahead…

"Company…" she looked back… "Someone's headed this way on the track…"

"What'll we do?...Should we try to get back inside?..."

"Is the girl, the conductor still there?..."

He raised himself a bit again… "Yeah!...Still talking…"

"Too late, I think we're spotted…" Bernadette shook head…

"Back?..."

"Wait…Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!..." she cried…

"Aren't the Bains coming?..." Amy looked back at Leonard…Who shrugged…

"Talking to the conductor in the other car…Give them a sec…"

"Yes…Talking…Old people are like that…" Sheldon noted… "Though I must say the Bains were never very chatty…I always liked that about them…"

"Maybe they'll persuade her to let us through…" Penny noted… "Old folks can be pretty persuasive…And clever…" wise nod…

The door to the rear car opened…Martin, followed by Barbara…

Apologetic tone… "Sorry to hold things up, kids…Just seein' if the old fogeys might get the girl to let us by…"

"Martin…" Barbara frowned…

"Anyway, no dice…Really a safety thing, I guess…" Martin shrugged… "So, I guess we'd best head back and try to get a little sleep…They should get the train rolling soon in any case…"

"Might be the best thing…" Leonard nodded…

Amy looking the train window briefly…Staring…Sheldon catching her glance, likewise…

"Oh my sweet bejesus!..." he cried…Followed by "OW!..." as Amy stepped hard on his foot…

"Sheldon?...I'm sorry, I stumbled…Are you ok?..." concerned tone…

Shush…She whispered to his groaning, then glaring face…

"Lets get back to the club car…" she urged… "Sheldon, I'm sorry…"

"Really…" she hissed…To his annoyed stare back…

"What the hell are you two doing out here?..." Bernadette, harshly…

"I'd like to know the same thing?..." Howard called in loud whisper over Raj's side… "Are you crazy?..."

"We were just trying to get past the conductor…This one stopped the guys inside…"

"Oh…?" Howard eyed her… "Just coming back to help out ole Raj, eh?..."

"What is that supposed to mean?...We're back to help you too…" she frowned…

"Guys…" Stuart, carefully… "Could we do this another time?...When the risk of death from slipping off the tracks and plunging to our deaths isn't quite so…"

"Plus, Holy crap my keyster is half frozen, again…" Raj noted….

"I came for you as much as Raj…" Bernadette glared, not heeding…

"I rate as much as Raj…Lucky me…" Howard, sarcastically…

"Folks…Really not the time…" Stuart, anxiously…

"Yeah…Lets either back up our way or move down your way…But lets go one way or the other…" Raj, insistently…

"I don't remember saying I'd be outside…" Howard, ignoring…

"If you weren't outside, you wouldn't need help…If you were outside, you might need help right away…" she frowned, reddening… "I came..."

"You idiots wanna come in or stay out there all night?..." the conductor eyed them from her open window frame…

The rest of the gang had reached the club car…

"Sheldon, are you ok?..." Leonard asked…Sheldon having limped all the way back…In somewhat exaggerated fashion…Glaring silently at Amy all the way…

I risked death for you and this is my reward?...

"He's fine…" Amy, hastily…

"I'll take a look at it…" Barbara offered…

"No, no…He'll be fine…" Amy smiled, pulling him back… "Come, fiancée…It's time for you to demonstrate your prowess yet again in the proverbial sack…Bestie?..." she turned to Penny who stared…

Now wait a minute, Amy…

Leonard staring as well…

"Just come back with us for a moment to be sure I've got the hang of this diaphragm thing down…" Amy explained, urging a reluctant Sheldon back…

Coitus?...With a nearly broken foot?...He frowned at her…She suddenly kissing him…Passing his ear…

"Sorry, baby…Let your intended kiss it and make it better…"

"Just play along, will you?..." she whispered… "We've a problem…"

This mean no kiis?...He thought, limping along at her urging…

Puzzled Penny trailing after…

Amy opening her sleeper compartment door, dragging and shoving Sheldon in…Penny looking back to Leonard…Shrugging…

Who knows…

"I'll be right out…" she noted…

Or come and get me in five…Her look told Leonard…As she went in, closing…

"Amy's a very enthusiastic girl…" Martin noted, kindly…

"Yeah…" Leonard nodded…Staring back…

"Maybe a little too enthusiastic…"

"Sheldon…I didn't mean to hurt your foot, it was necessary…" Amy, hurriedly…

"Amy?..." Penny stared…

"Just a mo, bestie…" hand up… "Sheldon…Give us five minutes, will you?..."

"What?..." Sheldon, Penny…

"It's important, Moonpie…Just trust me…Tell them the toilet wasn't working and you had to pee…Or something, anything…Please!..." she urged, anxiously…

"Who was that on the tracks…" he stared… "That's what this is about, isn't it?...Was it Charlotte?...I didn't see her, just a short man and I think another, tall one…"

"What?..." Penny stared… "You saw someone on the tracks?..."

"Two someones, I'm sure…Amy?..."

"Amy?...Was it Charlotte?..." Penny, anxious now… "Or, wait…" she put up a hand… "Lets not be silly…If it was two men it must have been the repair guys…Amy?...You didn't see anyone else?...Unless…Geesh, it wasn't one of our guys?...Howard and Raj?..."

"Probably…Yes, I think so…" Amy nodded… "Yes, definitely…Howard and Raj…They must've gone outside to check things…"

"Really?...Why would they have gone outside?...And they didn't look like Howard and Raj, from what I saw…" Sheldon noted…

"Sheldon?...I need five with Penny…Please go and tell our friends you need to pee and the toilet is blocked up or something…Anything…"

"But…If Howard and Raj are outside?..." Sheldon began…

"For the love of God, Sheldon!...Just this once, do as I say…" Amy pointed… "We'll take care of Howard and Raj, I promise…Just don't give anything away…Go!..." she urged…He staring…Penny staring…

"Please, Moonpie…Just five minutes…"

Ummn…Penny stared…

Ok…Now if this is that lesbian experimentation thing again…I thought we'd resolved that as one heck of a big…

"But I'm much more qualified to work this out then Penny…" Sheldon began… "Assuming you're trying to puzzle out why Howard and Raj might be outside…"

"Sheldon…"

"Fine…" he sighed, shaking head… Pausing at door… "But I'm using a different story…"

"Fine…" Amy nodded…

"And if this is to prevent me from panicking because you have evidence of Charlotte's return…" he eyed her…

"Probably not a bad idea…" he opened the door… "Leonard!..." he hollered…Closing door…

"Amy?..."

Amy put up a hand at Penny's question…Then sat on the bed…

"Oh, crap…Oh, crap…Oh, crap, crap, crap!..." she pounded the mattress…

"Amy?...What?...Iit is Charlotte, isn't it?..." Penny sat down by her, put arm on shoulder…

"No…" Amy sighed…Looking up…

"It's the other man…Holy crap…" she burst into tears…

"Leonard!..." Sheldon hurried over…

"Def Com Six!...We have to get off this train!…"

"What?..." Leonard stared at him…

"She' s back…I knew she'd be back…" Sheldon, shaking head…

"Who?..." Barbara asked…

"Oh…" Sheldon, suddenly forced calm… "Oh, no one special…Just my sister-in-law…"

"What?..." Leonard stood up…

"She's come here…Now?..." Martin stared… "Why would she come to the train here?...Did she hear news about the stop?..."

"That's probably it…" Leonard, hastily…Pasting a smile… "Can we just leave you a sec?...I need to track this down and Sheldon's obviously worried his sister-in-law got hurt coming out here…For poor Amy's sake…You guys understand?…We'll be right back…" he pulled Sheldon away…Heading for the sleeper, banging on the door…

"Yeah!..." Penny's voice…

"It's us…Let us in…" Leonard called…

Martin eyeing Barbara, who shrugged…

"Not just now, Leonard!..." her voice replied…

"Are you sure it was Charlotte?..." Leonard eyed Sheldon… "They don't seem to be on anti-Charlotte freak alert…Hey, guys!..." he tapped the door…

"Not now!..." Penny's voice… "SCRAM!…Fellows, we'll talk in just a few…"

Hmmn…Leonard stared at the locked door…

"You don't suppose Amy's getting on that thing about the lesbianism experimentation again?...Cause I was hopin' you two finally hookin' up had put the kibosh on that sort of thing…" he noted to Sheldon…

"Oh, Lord may it only be that…" Sheldon sighed…

"Amy…Let me get this straight…" Penny stared at her weeping friend…

"Oh, how could he come now?...I wrote him…I told him…"Amy, panicked… Reaching for Penny's shoulders… "OH, God if Sheldon finds out!...If he sees him…Oh, this can't be happening…"

"Amy?...Focus…" Penny grabbed her… "Who?...What?...What other man?..."

Jesus…Another man?...Stuart get frisky or something?….Oh…God…

"Rajesh didn't…Did he?..."

"What?...No…" Amy frowned… "You think I'd go for Raj because of his sordid affair with Bernadette…However oddly titilating that might be…"

"It's him…Faisal!…Oh, dear God!..."

"Who?..."

"Faisal…My other fiancée…My earlier fiancée…"

"What?..."

"And, oh!…If Sheldon sees him…!"

"Sees him?...Why?...Is he…" Penny paused, reflecting…

"That great-lookng?..." holding down a grin with effort…

"Oh, he'll do in a pinch…" Amy shrugged…

Ummn…

Uh-oh….I'd best not pursue this course…Cause if Penny finds out…

"Oh, it's not my fault…" she groaned… "How could he come now?...I wrote him…I told him…"

My God, this sounds for real…Penny stared…

"Amy, you have a fiancée…I mean another fiancée?...Who's on the rail tracks here?..."

"It was strictly mercenary on my part…" Amy sighed…

Well…

"Maybe not entirely till I got Sheldon in my net…" she looked at Penny… "Faisal is the one who I got my funds from…He's the Prince of Dhrarain…Hereditary heir to the throne and head of their research funding…"

Penny blinked…

"You hooked up with this guy to get money?..."

"It wasn't like that…It was just a little variation on the usual grant protocol…"

"Becoming the Prince of Dhrarain's lady of the evening as my daddy used to say was part of the grant protocol?...Amy?..."

"It was just something I signed…I figured it was never going to happen…He's a Arab prince for crying out loud…I thought it was just cultural thing, a formality…Though I did…" She began…Pausing…

Guilty look..

"Amy?...You didn't?..." Penny stared… "When?...How?..."

"Years ago…I was lonely and foolish…I thought I'd never find Sheldon again…Or if I did he'd never love me…No one would…It's the common experience of most young women…I was desperate to have someone I could claim was my feller…"

"Never happened to me…" Penny noted….

"Of course it never happened to you…" Amy frowned… "You'd've gotten Johnny Depp or the crowned younger head of Europe to fund you without filling out a grant request…."

"And this guy is now outside the train…Crawling around…?"

"That's what I'm saying, Bestie…Do I seem to have time for multiple repetitions on this theme?...He'll be on board soon…Sheldon will see him!…Oh, I hafta go and shove him off the train!…Run him down!…Anything!…" she got up…

"Oh, how could he come now?..." she sobbed… "Why must my sordid past as a temptress come back to haunt me like some bad silent melodrama…?"

"It can't be him…" Penny shook head… "It's some guy on the repair crew, Amy…Come on…It's just someone who looks like this Faisal guy…There's nothing to worry about..Calm down, honey…"

"Sheldon will be so furious…" Amy sighed… "I've done such a terrible thing …I should have broken it off the day I met Leonard…"

"Leonard?..." Penny blinked…

"I mean Sheldon…Of course…" Amy nodded, quickly… "Yes…Sheldon…Why would Leonard even be involved?…"

"Amy…Why would some Arab prince…?"

Ummn…She eyed Amy's puzzled stare…

"I mean…Ummn…The cultural differences…And all that…He couldn't think you were serious…He couldn't be serious…It's some mistake you made…Lost in translation…Though…" Pause… "If you were intimate…"

"What?..." Amy stared… "Penny, we've never been intimate…We've never met…I only emailed him twice…Once to thank him for his support…And the other…"

Ummn…Well…

"Perhaps that one did cross a line a bit…"

"You've never met?..." Penny blinked… "And you think he's come all the way from wherever to hold you to some crazy marriage agreement because he gave you some money…?"

"About ten million dollars give or take…"Amy noted…

"Ten what…?"

"All to my research…Though he did in reply to my other email suggest he'd be happy to pay for my braces…"

My mother didn't believe in spending on braces…Throwing good money away after bad, she put it…Amy explained… "It was only after I got a job away from home that I was finally able to do something about my teeth…"

"Oh…Sweetie…" Penny sighed, grinning…Patting arms… "I'm sure you're mistaken about the guy…Do you even know what he looks like?...When did you see him if he's never met you?...Some old photo he sent on email a couple of years ago?..."

"Actually yes…Though he's been on the Net recently…His father's been very close to death…Poor kid…" Amy sighed…

"Oh…He's not too old, eh…?" Penny smiled… "And you're afraid Sheldon'll get all huffy about another guy horning in?...Come on, bestie…That's not bad…It's good to keep them on their toes…And be sensible…Would this guy come all the way just…"

Ummn…There I go again…

"Sensible, how, bestie?..." Amy eyed her…Puzzled…

"I just mean…If he's a prince and his dad is sick…Doesn't he have to help run his country and all that?..."

"Dhrarain has a cabinet of sorts…"

"Amy…Just because he looks like a lot of guys around here...Doesn't mean he's here…Look, I'll prove it…Do you have a photo?...No?...Well, tell me about him?..."

"I don't know him…I've told you…" Amy wiped tears back… "You're probably right…It'll be fine…I probably did just make a mistake…" she caught breath… "Yes…That's probably it…" sigh…

It sure looked him…And it sure didn't look like a train repair guy who happens to resemble…

Hmmn…Perhaps I've not picked the best person to confide in on this one…

Now…Penny's an "easy-going" type…As they say…I could tell her…She'd just laugh at the idea…And she could be very effective in helping me throw Faisal off the train to his hopefully modest injury…Should it really be Faisal…

"Penny?...Could I confide in you, and would you promise to be open-minded about my revelation?..." Amy eyed her…

"What?...Oh, sure…Come on, Amykins…Spill to your bestie…What did you write the guy?..." grin… "So my bestie has a prince keepin' her?...Nice…"

Amy went to her purse…Pulling out wallet…

"I'm kddin'…I didn't mean that…" Penny apologized… "I'm just…" she stared at the photo Amy offered…A bit faded…

Her jaw dropping…Eyes staring…

Filling with a killer rage…

"You…Scheming…Bitch!..." she hollered… "You…"

"Penny?..." Amy stared, pleading stare…

"..Charlotte!…" Penny had found an insult large enough…Rising and running from the room…

Martin staring at Barbara…Barbara at him from their seats as Penny rushed by…In raging tears…

Hmmn…First Sheldon runs off in a panic…Now….

Amy emerging…

"Did Penny?..." she asked…

"Thataway…" Martin pointed…


	16. Chapter 16

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XVII…

"Everyone ok?..." the female conductor eyed the four before her, now safely inside the coach car…

"Yeah, thanks…" Howard nodded… Raj nodding silently with nervous smile… Bernadette, a bit sheepishly… "Ok…"

"Great…Now would you mind explaining what the heck you were doing outside the train…On this bridge?..." stern frown…

"Just wanted a look-see at what was going on…" Howard, casual smile… "We're big train buffs…Practically train geeks…"

"I believe that…" the conductor nodded… "But I don't believe you idiots would be out there on a night like this for that…Tickets?..."

Ummn…Howard hesitated…

"Waiting…" hard stare…

"Here…" Bernadette pulled out her purse… "I thought we might need them…" she noted to Howard's grateful smile as the conductor examined them…

That's my girl…

"Ok…So you're legit passengers, not smugglers or hitchers…Why did you leave the train?..."

"We heard the repair car and got a little anxious…Just wanted to see what's what…" Howard replied… "By the way, where is everybody?..."

"Evacuated…For safety…In this section…You're saying you just decided to hop out and take a stroll?..."

"Yeah…Stupid, we know now…" Howard, innocent smile… "My fiancee Bernadette here kept telling us how stupid we were being…You were so right, precious…"

"Yeah…Very stupid…" Bernadette, likewise innocent smile… "I was telling them to get back in…And our friend Stuart was helping me call them in just when you found us…Out there…"

Stuart nodding…

"Uh-huh…Well, you're lucky you didn't fall off the bridge…Or get knocked off when the train resumed…Which should be…"

The rear door of the car opened…Kahid with four of his team…

"Anything wrong up here?..."

"Just a few passengers out sightseeing…" the conductor frowned…

"Oh, hello…" Kahid smiled at Howard… "Still curious about the problem?...We think we've just about got it…Should be underway very soon…" His men pasting friendly smiles, beginning to look busy about the car's walls…

Stuart staring at the group…Glance to Howard…Uh-oh…

And not just because these repair guys are closely examining walls and fixtures as if they could have anything to do with a train-stopping problem…

Right…Howard, return glance…

"Great…" Howard beamed… "We'll just get out of your way…Come on, guys…Lets let the folks get to their work and get us all on our way…"

"Why was everyone evacuated back here and not up our way?..." Bernadette asked…

"Just a precaution as we move up the car…" Kahid smiled… "And it makes it easier to poke around…We just sent them off to the front cars…"

"I didn't see people passing our way…" she continued… "How'd they get to the front cars without passing through our cars?…"

"Probably we were sleeping…" Howard noted… "Lets go, Bernie…These folks are very busy…"

"But…"

"We urged people to remain very quiet…It was a very orderly evacuation…" the conductor, firmly…

"Good group of folks…" Kahid nodded… "And of course, we've a great staff here…" smile to the conductor…

"So you do…" Howard beamed… "And time we got out of your hair…" Raj smiling warmly as well…

Letsgetthehell…His look to Howard…

"We'll let you know soon as we're ready to move, folks…" Kahid, equally warm smile…Wave…

"Please stay in your car or the club car for the rest of the night…" the conductor had moved to open the front door for them…

"We certainly will, thanks…" Howard nodded…

Door closed…

"Run!..." he hissed…

"What?..." Bernadette stared…

"What he said!…" Stuart noted…Both men grabbing an arm and pulling her along…Raj hastily following…

"Sheldon…" Leonard sighed…Sitting with him in the club car…Several tables from where the Bains sat, quietly talking…Occasional smile and wave their way…Kindly leaving the current Sheldon crisis to Leonard's capable care…

"Did you know too?..." Sheldon eyed him narrowly… "Why didn't Amy tell me Charlotte was back?...Did you think I'd panic?..."

"You?..." Leonard, mockingly… "Certainly not…"

"Fine…Attempt to mock my admirable caution…Wait…" he stood up…Paling to Leonard's startled surprise even more than usual…

"Is Amy doing battle?...Was that why you all kept silent?...Leonard, you can't let her face Charlotte alone!…"

"No…Sheldon…There's no battle…And I don't think Charlotte' s involved here, whatever's got Amy hopping round…"

"I saw someone on the tracks…And Amy saw them…And what else would get her so concerned she'd kick me out to jabber futilely with Penny…?"

"I don't know, Sheldon…" Leonard sighed… "But couldn't it have been the repair crew you saw…?"

"Why would Amy get nervous over a repair crew?...Leonard, something is a foot…And there's one other thing…Ahhh!..." nervous shriek…

"Yeah?…Sheldon?...What's the hell's…"

"There, see?..." arch smile… "Haven't you noticed…?"

"Noticed what?..." Leonard looked round… "There's nothing going on…"

"Exactly…" Sheldon nodded… "The dog did not bark…Or anything…"

"What?...What dog?...There's no dog on the train…"

"…And apparently no one else, either…" Sheldon noted… "At least in our cars…"

Hmmn?...

Oh…

Sheldon nodding…Watson gets it at last, I see…

"Not too loud…I don't want to worry our friends…They're old…" he smiled over to the Bains…Quick wave…Alls better now…

"Penny?..." Amy had reached the ladies room back in the sleeper car where Penny had locked herself in after finding none unlocked in the club car…Sobs issuing through the door… "Penny, please…"

"You lied to me!..." Penny called… "You said you didn't like Leonard…He didn't do it for you…When all the time…You're just like your sister and every other superintelligent girl he meets!…" sob… "I thought you were my friend…"

"Penny, I never lied to you…I don't care for Leonard…Except in the way of a girl who's almost never had friends appreciating a very considerate and dear fellow…"

"What?..."

"I mean as a friend, Penny…Strictly…"

"I got you all gussied up for that wedding…And all the time…You were trying to keep him on your string in case the Sheldon thing failed…You think I'm stupid!...Like that Winkle bitch…Priya…Like Charlotte…Did you have sex with him too?...Has he been keepin' that from me?...You all think I'm stupid and figure Leonard'll dump me when he gets bored!…"

"No…Penny…"

"Even pretending you were interested in me…What, to get some dirt?…'Hey Leonard, you know Penny was kinda receptive to my lesbian advances'?…"

Hmmn…

"Oh…Well…I was kind of thinking something like that could be useful with Sheldon…Penny I told you I was concerned about his feelings for you…"

Weeping sounds…

"Penny, I don't love Leonard…And I haven't been making up to him, despite his clear attraction to me…"

"Just…Like…Your…Sister…!" Weeping…

Oh…

Of course…Sigh…

"Penny?…I'm so sorry…I didn't realize how upset you still were about what happened with Charlotte and Leonard…I shouldn't have told you this way…I should have told you about Faisal years ago…But I don't love Faisal and I don't love Leonard…Please, believe me…"

"You don't like this Faisal guy?..." weeping breaking up…

"No…He's just a charm on my rather limited bracelet…I'm just worried if Sheldon finds out…You know how jealous of Leonard he was…"

"I didn't know he had good reason!..." Penny, sobbing again…

"Penny…If I were scheming, why would I have ever been bothered about this?...Or told you now?..."

Give it a few…Girl takes a moment for the grey cells to click in there…

"Maybe not…" Penny finally, sobbing down to faint catches…

"Please open up and let me explain…I didn't tell you about Faisal to hurt you...Penny, you've got to help me before Sheldon finds out…"

"Cooper's friends, no question…" Kahid thumbed his dossier a bit, noting to the conductor… "So we've got the train nearly secure?..."

"Everyone but the front two cars evacuated…But if these guys are such supergeniuses…(Yeah, right…That bunch)…They're sure to notice the train is almost empty…Maybe you should proceed a little faster…" the woman eyed him…

"As I told them, we're doing a gradual evac…Careful survey…No need to alarm them or the remaining passengers and staff…Our goal is to do this with minimal disruption…" Kahid shook head… "Can we be underway quickly?..."

"Anytime…" she nodded…

"Good…We'll start shortly…Francis, Kemal…" he eyed one of Collins' people and his own… "Just go make sure back to the rear that Dr. Fowler and her friends, particularly Dr. Cooper, aren't prowling around back there, especially outside…And make sure they don't get hurt if you do find them, particularly our future Queen…"

The two nodded and left out the rear door…

"Anything else, miss?..." Kahid eyed the young 'conductor'… "I should say how lucky we are to have you working with us…" smile… "You've been a great help with the passengers and staff…"

"No…" she lied… "And thanks…Just doin' my job…"

Last week it was a tax analyst for the Mob to nail Whitney Bulger's cousin…This week a conductor to convince some odd girl scientist to accept a groom with 200 billion in cash alone…Well, Dad always said it's never boring in the secret agent business…

"And we should get on with ours…" Kahid smiled… "Ok, fellas…I'd say we've established this car is secure and the problem affecting the train is not based here…Lets move on to the next car…Are we nearly ready?..." he lowered voice, eyeing the conductor…

"We'll be ready to detach from the front cars anytime but lets let the party get back to their beds…" the conductor noted…

"No problem…" Kahid nodded…


	17. Chapter 17

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XVIII…

"Charm on your bracelet?..." Penny stared at Amy, having opened the ladies' room door, standing at sink, wiping her tear-streaked face…

"Perhaps a bit harsh…" shrug… "But heck, he was all I had to use as a jealousy counter with Sheldon…Until…"

Narrow stare by Penny…

"…Stuart came along…" hastily…

Hmmn…I'm starting to get good at the clever dodge…Inward smile…

On the other hand…Point taken as to Charlotte's more negative Fowler tendencies…And there is Father's unfortunate history…

Oh…You must take yourself in hand, Amy Farrah Fowler (soon to be hyphen Cooper)…

Still, both Gran and Great Aunt Mag had their few questionable moments and yet turned out well…Grandpa Leonard was actually rather flattered by the kidnapping in the end…

And Sheldon will no doubt tame this wild bird to his loving hand…

Sigh…Beam...

"Amy?...What's suddenly got you so pleased?..." frown…

Hmmn?...Blinking stare…

"Any?...I think throwing the guy off the train is kinda mean too…" Penny noted, still frowning…

No need to smile about it…Poor cute lil' Arab guy, she eyed the photo…Geesh…

Would she treat Leonard so callously if he really had…?

Not that he had…Or that I would want her to if he had…And he better not have had…

Oh, now I really wish she hadn't…Sigh..

And I really have to…Narrow stare…

Well, later…

"Amy?...Can't we just explain the situation to him?...If it is him…Cause I still doubt it could be him…"

"I've seen many pictures of Faisal, Penny…He emails me once a month…"

"I thought you said you'd only emailed twice?..."

"He sends me the quarterly report of the Drharainian Science Academy…And a personal note usually…But I've only replied personally twice, apart from sending my grant reports and reapplications…The quarterly report has his latest picture and photos of him at the academy and with the royal family…"

"Sounds kinda vain…"

"Actually no…He's always very apologetic about the pictures…But he's head of the Academy, at his father the King's order so his 'mug', as he calls it, graces each edition…He's really rather sweet and modest in his way like…"

Whoops…

Penny, back to narrow stare…Sweet…Like we know who, eh?...

"And is the sex perfectly adequate…?"

"Penny…" hands upraised in apologetic gesture… "You know I've never pursued Leonard…Though of course if I'd been so inclined, it's obvious the poor fellow would have fallen for me like a ton of fired, misstacked bricks…"

Blinking stare…

"During one of your periodic separations, of course…" hastily… "It's the Fowler-Hamilton curse…Our rampaging sexuality must forever be channeled to safe harbors lest it do great evil as with poor Charlotte…" sad nod… "As for poor Faisal…I tried to limit his exposure and be honest with him that I was only seeking grant funds...But I did sense from his emails and letters…The fact that my articles were given pride of place in the quarterly Academy reports…And the copy of his personal diary he sent me two years ago and kept updating…And the book of his poetry, dedicated to me…"

Extreme blinking…

"…That he might possibly be developing a rather strong attachment…"

"From two emails?...And your reports…?"

"I do have a rather scintillating academic writing style…" Amy noted, slight beam… "Sheldon's commented on it as well… 'Blinding me with sweet Science murmurings' were his words…At his request, now we're a committed soulmated duo, I've begun trying to tone it down…And I should note I've been careful to limit Leonard's exposure to my captivating scientific prose…"

"Uh-huh…Thanks…"

"No problemo, bestie…" nod…

"Right…And you think the guy takes this engagement thing seriously?...What is up with that, anyway?..."

"The only way he could approve my funding was to have me engaged to him…It was to bypass Drharainian law, a very extreme form of Islamic code… I needed funds so…" she shrugged… "What can I say?...I was a cheap whore for Science…"

"Pretty expensive one at ten mill…" Penny noted…

"Well…I was worth every penny…" Amy, slyly proud grin…Then sigh… "But you see my problem?...You know how freaked Sheldon got over Leonard's infatuation…?"

Which I now require details about from said Hofstadter…Extensive details…Penny thought, frowning… "Yeah…"

"And jit-jusuing the Crown Prince of Drharain could be a bit more dangerous…He has bodyguards and from what I've read, Drharain has a rather effective secret police…"

"But if you told him it was 'over'…Whatever 'it' was?...Didn't he get the message?..."

"Clearly not…Unless this is his way of bringing me a wedding present…Which seems doubtful…Penny?..."

"Ok…Ok…" wave of hand… "First, lets find the guy and see if it really is him…Can I see that photo again…?"

"Sure…" hand extended photo…Penny snatching…

God…It really is his twin…With goatee thing and in flowing robes…With turban…

And really is kinda cute at that…I gotta see if Leonard'd go for that look…Heck, what am I saying?…Costume boy probably has two sheik's outfits in the back of his closet…

Neat…My own lil' Rudy Valentiny…Grin…Say…She eyed the photo, then Amy…

"Why did you keep this?...If you didn't…?" she eyed Amy…Who gave a sheepish look…

"Every girl likes to know some one's wild for her…" she shrugged… "And as I said, Faisal was good back-up to throw in to get Sheldon riled…At least I thought so before you and I got to be besties and I saw you were gone on your little American version of the Hobbit…Then I realized it could be trouble between us, given his understandable passion for me…And that it would be trouble for Sheldon and me…And I didn't think it would ever come up, if I kept quiet about it…"

"And you never encouraged this guy?..." Penny…Careful look…

Amy…? Stern regard…

"I said I did cross a line in my second email…" sigh… "But that was when I'd first come to CalTech in pursuit of Sheldon and thought it was hopeless to ever make an impression on his stoically manly disregard of all pleasures of this world…Besides probing the mysteries of the Universe, fantasy games, comics, movies, comic-com, and Chinese Tangerine Chicken…"

"I was weak…" Bowed head…

"Well, what did you write him?...How bad was it?..."

"It's on my laptop's drive…As are his letters, diary, and poetry…"

"Now that could be over the line, Ams…" Penny, sternly…

"I only thought it might be necessary ammunition with Sheldon…Though some of it is rather nice…"

"Say…Wait?..." Penny looked at her…"The guy is still outside, right?...He could get hurt…"

"As in…Problem solved…?"

Penny looked at her…

"Sorry…Right…Poor love-besotted fellow…"

"Lets go see if we can find him…If he's really not part of the repair team, we gotta get him inside, safe…"

"Inside?..." Amy, nervously… "Couldn't we just speak to him out there and send him on his merry way back to Drharain…?"

"Jesus…What did you write him…?" Penny stared…

"Ok…" Howard gasped as the four paused in a sleeper car, two cars further to the front…"I think…"

"What are you stopping for?..." Bernadette pushed him toward the front door of the car… "Howard, there are a bunch of terrorists…Wanted terrorists…On this train…You don't stop!...Rajesh, don't let him stop…"

"Bernie…." Howard put up a hand… "If they are who we think they are and they wanted to kill us, they'd've killed us…"

"I think at least we should get back to the others, dude…" Raj noted… "But does this make any sense?...Why would a bunch of terrorists with cvs bad enough to put them on government wanted lists want to take over this train?..."

"I don't know and I don't care…We have to get Howard off this train!…" Bernadette insisted…

"Bernie…Thanks…You're a righteous gentile and I love you…But I don't think these guys are hunting Jews…" Howard noted… "They're after something, though…And it's no coincidence we're the only ones in these cars whatever that conductor said about evacuating only the rear cars…"

"There's definitely no one in this one…" Stuart nodded from where he'd been trying to carefully see if anyone was present in the berths…Cautiously pulling several more berth curtains…"And our guys were still on the train with that conductor…"

"Sounds like Charlotte strikes again to me…" Bernadette shook her head… "But I still want Howie off this train…Even if these guys are working for her…One torture session was enough…"

"Lets just hang on a minute…" Howard urged… "We need to find out what these guys are up to…"

"The Charlotte thing is starting to sound plausible…" Stuart noted… "Why else would they clear the train of everyone but us?…"

"I think she'd grab Sheldon in the evacuation confusion…She's a practical sort of girl in her insanity…" Howard pointed out… "There'd be no need to go slow and alert us like this…I think there's something else going on here…"

"Then all the more reason to get outta here…" Bernadette insisted… "If they want the train, let them have it…"

"Wait, Bernadette…I think Howard's right…" Raj said… "This isn't Charlotte's intently Sheldon-focused style…But if these guys are after the train, they ought to be in the front engine, right?..."

"They could have another group up front…" Stuart noted… "Took the engine first then came up on the rear…"

"I didn't see anything up front when I was out earlier…" Raj…"Though they could have come on foot once we stopped…The other car just for a getaway or..."

"Carry prisoners…Explosives…" Bernadette, anxiously… "Please, Howie…Can't we just get you off the train and then see what's what?..."

"Bernie, I'm not leaving the train with you on it…" he frowned… "There's no need to freak…First, why don't you and Stuart go see if the other guys are still in our cars…Raj and I will stay here and see if we can find out anything…"

"If they come here, we'll just pull back to the next car, don't worry…" he noted to her stricken face… "And I do appreciate the Schindler bit, Oscar…" he grinned, patting her… "They don't want me or they'd have grabbed me earlier…It's ok…"

"You go and check with Raj…Stuart and I will stay…" she frowned…

"I'm the engineer…Raj has done some of this stuff…If we see them doing anything we might be able to figure out what they're up to…"

"You mean like…Hooking up explosives?..." she eyed him sternly…

"At least we'd know…" he pointed out… "I promise you, we won't do anything stupid, we'll just pull back…And the faster you guys go and check in with the others, the sooner we know if Charlotte's involved…And if she is, you're the ones heading to the danger zone, right?…"

Grrr…She frowned…

Still…Things are pointing a bit to Charlotte…

"You swear you won't do anything stupid…?"

"Bernie…Knowing it's me and Raj…How can I possibly swear that?...But we won't try any heroics…Besides, these guys for whatever reason don't want trouble…Yet…"

"Oh, well that makes me feel loads better…'Yet'?..." she fumed…

"Sweetie…Please…"

"It's only cause I think Charlotte's involved…" she glared… "Raj?...You get him out the window and somewhere safe if you see any signs of trouble…"

Actually been there, passed that…Raj sighed inwardly but nodded…Glance to Howard…

"We'll be back…" she noted sternly…

"Come on, Stuart…Shake a leg…" she headed for the front door…Stuart eyeing the two…

"Just watch it, guys…" he sighed…Turning to follow Bernadette out the door…

"Did I just send my girl off and agree to stay and risk facing a bunch of potential maniacs…?" Howard gasped to Raj the instant the door closed…

"Yes…And thanks for seeing that I get to be TNT fodder as well…" Raj sighed… "So I take it the plan is to try and get to that phone line again?...Via another walk on the wild side?..."

"We have to reach someone…" Howard nodded… "The fact is, if these guys are up to something, we're not gonna get away by trying to make a dash from the train…That's more likely to get us a bullet in the head or our body parts mangled in the premature explosion, assuming we survived the fall from the bridge…"

"Comforting thought, thanks…" Raj eyed him…

"Hmmn…" Faisal looked about the empty car Bashir had just helped him into via a window he'd forced…

"Wonder where everyone is?...Bashir?...You think the passengers might have been evacuated?..."

Bashir, engaged in a careful surveillance around the car, looked over… "Possibly, Highness…Americans are rather safety-first inclined…"

"Gee, I hope I didn't drag you all this way out here for nothing…" Faisal, looking a bit downcast…

"If they've been evacuated, we'll find where they've been taken and follow them there, Highness, have no fear…We will get you your chance to speak to the lady…Though…" Bashir eyed his Prince…

"…The rest is up to me…Right…" Faisal nodded…

"Just give it your best shot, Highness…" smile…Hmmn… Bashir eyed the wire Raj had left, just the end of which projected from under a seat… He reached down to examine it…

"What's that?..."

"Appears to be a telephone wire, Highness…Perhaps the train personnel were attempting to contact the outside world…Cellular phones do seem to be out…" Bashir frowned… "If we could connect this to a standard phone…"

"Well, heck, I've still got my satellite phone…" Faisal noted, pulling out what appeared to be a large cell phone… "It's the latest from Apple…Smallest one they make for satellite…"

"Very nice, Highness…Can you reach my office?...Or perhaps the Internet would be better, given Minister Hamid must know by now about our little 'vacation'…See if there's news about this train on the local news sites for Illinois and if all the passengers have been taken…"

"Let me see…Yeah…I got net capability…There's my CNN home page…Whoa…Oh…No…" shake of head…

"Highnesss?..." Bashir came to his side…

"Bashir…Dad's…" he gulped…Holding phone up to view…Finger on story link…Bashir stared…

"Your Majesty…" Bashir bowed, then straightened… "I am so deeply sorry, my friend…I was truly fond of your father, a great king and a good friend…" he put a hand on Faisal's shoulder… "But as he was a great king of our past you will also make a great king for our future, I promise you…"


	18. Chapter 18

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XIX…

Office of the Assistant American Consul, Dhrarain…

Roger Sterling, Jr, impeccably dressed as always…Though currently "engaged" with his first secretary…Er, administrative associate…

"Sweetheart…I don't see why we need to end things just because you're getting married…I'm a tolerant kinda guy…" he grinned…Kissing the rather buxom and beautiful brunette…

"Roger…" sigh, pulling away, adjusting dress, looking for emergency burka (not required for American female citizens but recommended for those having to briefly leave the US compound or dealing with Dhrarainians to any large extent…Ah, there it is…Didn't get lost in the "confusion"…Always nice to have it handy to avoid the occasional mob stirred to anger at all things Western… "I can't get married planning to go on with you…"

"I don't see why not…" engaging smile… "In a couple of years, you'll both be scratching around looking for a little distraction…Why this way you're all set and have a charming alternative and a nice guilt account all set up with a few draws to allow you to forgive…What is his name, anyway?...His little transgressions…I tell you if it weren't for our common sense on this sort of thing, Miranda and I would have gone like Dad and his first two wives…Instead of the strong and tolerant partnership we now share…"

"Roger?...That's pretty cynical…" the woman stared at him…Fussing with hair… "I can't do that to Harry…He's not the type to go with that…"

"Right…" sigh… "Might have known Crane, Jr. would be the old school, fudd type…His father was that way…Though frankly Crane, Sr did have his own little moments, I heard from Dad…"

"Enough…Roger, we're done…I'm getting married and you should behave yourself…"

"Oh, behave…Right…" chuckle…Fixing of tie clip… "Help me here, will ya?...Sweetheart, there'll be nothing but 'behavior' once the new King returns…His dad was a pistol but the kid's Eleanor Roosevelt puritan…Not to mention the future Queen doesn't exactly look like 'fun'…This is gonna be one dull oil paradise in a few days, at least leave me a little something to fall back on…I'm doing my patriotic duty here…"

"She does look kinda bluestocking…Not to mention she is the spitting image of a younger Wicked Witch of the West, you're right there…Is she really the right Queen for this place?...American and you told me, part-Jewish to boot…"

"Are we gonna talk shop now?..." Sterling frowned…

"I know you like to think I don't have a brain in my sexy little head…But I am a trained field agent as well as holding a doctorate in diplomacy, despite the cover job they gave me here…" she returned the frown… "And yeah, I'm talking shop…It's my job too, you know…And I'm the one who takes the risks in the field here while you hobnob with the elite, stroking backsides…"

"Fine, Ms. Plane…But since I am the senior agent here…Until I officially ask for a review of the situation, we do not discuss the situation from any perspective other than routine State gossip…Even if this office has been swept for bugs and is monitor-proof…"

"Bigger breach of protocol for us to be intimate…" she noted, coyly…

"You're the one making this business…And it's perfectly good cover us being intimate…Goes with the territory of lonely bored assistant consul and secretary…"

"Adminstrative associate…" frown…

"Whatever…"

"Hey, my pay grade depends on the title, whatever your little sexist notions are…"

"Great, first business, now feminism and workplace harassment…" he sighed… "And here all I wanted to do was enjoy our last unbothered moments together before things change…God, in my dad's day…"

"They clubbed 'em over the head and dragged 'em back to the lair…I've heard all the stories about your dad and his buddy, the Korea deserter…"

"They were a pistol pair, the two of them…" grin… "Can you blame me for being a little nostalgic for the good ole days?..."

Sour look…

"Ok…Give Crane my best wishes…He's getting a fine girl…Who can defend him by killing in twenty-three different ways…"

"Thirty…But Harry doesn't know about my 'sideline', you know…And I don't want him to know…I like quiet in my personal life…Which is why…"

"Me too, sweetheart…Miranda's wise as to my little transgressions but has no idea I'm doing it all for the greater good…"

"Uh-huh…All of it?..."

"A patriot doin' his duty…That's me…The Good Shepard Stirling…"

"Overwhelming…We'll build a statue to you one day…" wry grin…

"Just knowin' you regard me with affection is all the thanks I need…"

"You are really a louse sometimes, Stirling…" sigh…

"But an honest one, sweetheart…" smile… "Oh, now…Come on…" he eyed her tears forming… "I didn't mean to get you all addled…Lord, you weren't this upset when you had to kill that teenaged assassin Number Five sent in to take me out…"

"I didn't care about that kid…And he was nuts, ready to kill a hundred just to get one lowly assistant consul…" she frowned… "But getting back to matters professional…I do need to have some details…I'm to be her operator, right?..."

"Her confidante and dear friend as a fellow American madchen likewise at sea in a strange new world…" smile… "Ok, fine…Shop is open…" sigh…

"You really think we can control this Fowler girl…?"

"Hardly 'control'…Though I believe Hamid has his own ideas along that line…We're just reapin' the benefits of our boy Faisal's happy mating choice…Though speakin' of Eleanor R…Based on our surveillance, Faisal may have an unfortunate surprise or two awaitin'…"

"I read that…But she seems to like guys and as for Eleanor, a lady I happen to admire, there wasn't any proof there either…FDR had plenty of gay friends…"

"Not here to argue, love…" he put up a hand… "But you wanted details and we will need to keep Faisal happy with his bride…This is one point to consider based on years of observation…"

"And that's a little odd…Why did we have such a long surveillance on the others?...I could us keepin' an eye on Fowler once Faisal hooked up…"

"Their surveillance was separate…Two of them did practical work rated as classified, the Cooper kid did theoretical work on a level that made him of interest to us and a few folks we sometimes don't get on with…It was just good fortune Fowler latched on to them and we were able to combine the operations…Though not so good from the pov of Faisal's love life…"

"She's in love with Cooper…Has been a very long time, the report says…"

"Things change, sweetie…It's a pity from our pov Cooper didn't go gay or hook with that crazy sister but can't be helped…But Faisal's a nice kid…And the greater good demands a little patriotic self-sacrifice now and then…"

Dour stare…

"And Hamid will see she accepts her sacrificial role if need be?..."

"Lets hope it doesn't come to that…She may come round the moment our boy makes his move…Anyway ours not to reason why or blow whistles, sweetheart…Ours but to do as much as we can and die as the country needs…And while we have the chance?..."

"Roger…"

"Ok…" he pulled away, reluctantly…

"What about Cooper?..." she eyed him… "I'm not gonna hafta comfort my new best friend over his reeking corpse?..."

"That's in God's hands, sweetheart…" Stirling, solemnly…

"'God' in this case being…" she eyed him…

"That's classified, babe…"


	19. Chapter 19

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XX…

"Amy?..." Penny tapped on the robed arm half out the window…Amy pulling back inside…

"No sign of him…" rather content…

"Geesh…You don't think he fell off?..."

"Well, possibly…It's snowing a bit harder now…"

"Amy?..." Penny now peered out, sticking head out briefly, then pulling back to regard her… "You don't want the poor guy to have fallen?..."

"Uh…No…Certainly not…Though of course it would resolve things rather effectively…"

"Amy…" Penny, frowning… "The guy gave you millions…"

"And I told him I was spoken for…No one asked him to come out here, assuming it was Faisal…"

"Well, we'd better let the conductor know…He could be hurt out there…"

"I'm sure he'd have a complete team of guards and medical personnel on hand…"

"Amy?...We don't know that…You can't leave the guy out there…What if that were Sheldon?..."

"Sheldon?...Why would Sheldon be foolishly crawling about the outside of a train trying to hook up with a woman he barely knew?…Lets get real, bestie…"

Penny rolled eyes… "Well, I'm gonna let one of the conductors know…We don't have to tell him we know who it is, just that we saw someone out there…Unless of course he managed to get on board…"

"On board?..." Amy blinked… "You think so?...Oh, no…"

Ummn… "I mean, I disagree…Hardly likely he made it on from the outside…Though how nice he's safe, if he did…Penny, we'd better search the train, then you can tell the conductors…No need to unduly upset people with all that fuss and bother…"

"Amy, if he fell he could be dead by the time we finishing searching round here…"

"I'm sure he's very capable of surviving a minor fall…Lets go…" Amy urged… "If he is here and it's Faisal, we've got to find him before Sheldon sees him…Do you still have that bat of yours you brought on board for dealing with Charlotte?..."

"Amy, we're not clubbing this guy over the head and throwing him off the train…"

"I was thinking more locking him in the baggage car…Where he'd be safe and sound…Fine…" she sighed at Penny's stare… "But, please can we try to quickly see if he got onboard?…You can tell the first conductor we see…Ummn…That we saw a mysterious shadow on the tracks that might have been a person…Please, Penny…If it were Leonard who might find out about your little 'indiscretion'…?"

"I don't date or take grants from guys while dating Leonard, Amy…" stern frown…Shake of head…

Amy Farrah Fowler…

"Well…" sheepish tone… "If the fellow didn't take no for an answer?..."

"I make it very clear…They get the message…It's not that hard…" frown…

"I tried, Penny…I thought he got the message…" pleading tone…Wringing of hands… "I can't let this happen…Sheldon overcame Charlotte's allure without a moment's hesitation…He risked death for me…I can't have him think I'm a wanton now…"

"Sweetie…" Penny sighed…

"And even if he'd forgive me…There's his mother…If she ever found out about Faisal and me…"

Hmmn…Point there… Penny noted…I doubt they forgive that sort of thing in East Texas very easily…

"The first conductor we see…" she eyed Amy sternly…

"Absolutely…" nod… "But don't forget the bat…"

Bang on window…Faisal staring out as Bashir tensed for a rush…

"Leonard?..." Howard called from the window, hands on glass, trying to peer in… "Let me in, willya?..."

"One of Cooper's friend's, Majesty…" Bashir hissed… "I recognize him…"

"Yeah, Howard, the engineer guy…Wait, Bashir…" Faisal touched his arm… "Let me handle this…Just play along…I think it might get us to Amy…" he turned to the window where Howard frowned at him…

"Hey!...C'mon!..."

He opening… "Hello, Howard…Uh…Whatcha doin' out there?..." affecting the most American accent he could…

"Never mind that!...Give me a hand here!…" Howard extended hand…

"Sure….Come on in…Hey, sir?..." Faisal turned to Bashir… "Would you give me a hand helping my friend Howard in?..."

"Certainly…" Bashir came over… "Rather bad night to be outside for a stroll, young man…" he noted to Howard…

"Just havin' a look-see… Leonard, you wanna lend a hand here?...Raj is freezing his keyster off here too…"

The two pulled Howard in…Howard immediately leaning out to wave Raj over…Raj cautiously moving along the tracks to the window… "Upsy-daisy…" Howard leaned out to pull him up and inside…Faisal and Bashir helping…

"Hello…Old friend…" Faisal eyed Raj…

"Rajesh…" Bashir hissed…

"Rajesh…" Faisal beamed… "What were you fellas doin' outside?..."

"Freezing our keysters off…" Raj noted… "Say?...Is that a new outfit?…And what's with the beard?..."

"C'mon, you've seen Leonard playing with stage props before…" Howard shrugged… "Is this your idea or that master of disguise Cooper?...Is he still freakin' about the stop?..."

"Oh, Sheldon's idea…" Faisal nodded, patting goatee… "He thought till we knew why we stopped I should go incognito to check things out…"

"Sounds like a Sheldon plan…" Howard rolled eyes… "Nice fake beard, though…" he looked the goatee over… "Where'd he get that one?..."

"Some place…Don't know…You know Sheldon…" Faisal smiled brightly… "Did you find out anything?..."

"Dude?..." Raj eyed him… "You're talking funny…"

"Sorry…Uh, Sheldon's idea…" Faisal noted, nodding solemnly… "I promised, for the disguise…You know how Sheldon is…"

"Lower…" Bashir hissed…

"Better?..." Faisal, brightly to Raj…Eyeing Bashir who gave slight nod…

"Such strange events tonight…" Bashir cut in smoothly… "You weren't able to learn why we've stopped., gentlemen?..."

"Afraid not…" Howard, politely… "Leonard, we'd better get moving…I left a wire in the car just ahead…We might be able to hook in and call outside…Find out what's what and if Charlotte's back at work…"

"Amy's sister?..." Faisal asked… "You think she's involved?..."

"Until we have a better suspect, she's the top contender, natch…Why?...Did you learn anything?..." Howard eyed him…

"No…Fraid not…" Faisal, keeping voice tone lower…With some success…

"Perhaps you gentlemen wouldn't mind if I accompany you all?…" Bashir asked… "I'm anxious to find out when the train will be moving…I have a sick wife awaiting my arrival in Buffalo…"

"Why sure, uh, sir…" Faisal nodded…Howard nudging him…

Leonard?...

"I'm sure it won't hurt to let this gentleman come with us…Guys…" Faisal smiled… "He's very worried about his sick wife…"

"Terribly…" Bashir nodded…

"Fine…" Howard sighed… "But look, we may have a bit of trouble with the train staff or some other folks shortly so just keep down and don't speak till we give the all clear…Ok?..."

"Sounds a bit dramatic…" Bashir, regarding Howard… "But if you think it's necessary…"

In the club car…Leonard a bit perturbed by Amy's and Penny's strange dashing off, he and Sheldon were cautiously discussing Sheldon's observation…While attempting not to alarm the Bains seated at the next table…

"It is a little strange, no one else coming out to ask what's up…" Leonard admitted, in whisper…

"I'd say it's likely there's no one left here but us…" Sheldon noted… "And I peeked in several berths on the way back…All empty…"

"Folks could have been evacuated…" Leonard suggested quietly…Quick eye and wave to the Bains…"Hey…"

"The conductor told us to come here…Or go back to bed…Why wouldn't she have told us to evacuate…?" Sheldon asked, a bit archly…"I'd say my sister-in-law has struck again…"

"I don't know…" Leonard, carefully… "She can't have unlimited resources…"

"Put her own people on the train, pull a cord…What's so difficult?..." Sheldon looked round… "Excuse us…" Pleasant tone… "We've not meant to be rude…" he addressed Martin and Barbara… "Just some University business…"

"No problem, kid…" Martin smiled… "But when are the girls coming back?..."

"Actually, we're going to see…Right now…Come, Leonard…" Sheldon urged…

"Sheldon?..."

"They've gone to find Charlotte, you idiot!…Come on…!" urgent hiss…

"You think?..." Leonard, worried now, following out of his seat…

"My lioness is no fool, she's realized what's afoot and has gone to do battle…" Sheldon insisted in harsh whisper… "We'll be right back, gentle elderly friends…" he beamed to the Bains…

"Come on…And help me find a weapon…An ax with the fire equipment, perhaps…" he urged Leonard on…

Ax?...Leonard stared as they went out the front of the car door…

"Do we go after them?..." Barbara eyed Martin…

"Lets wait for Jeannie…She promised to fill us in…" he noted… "And they're headed away from those other guys…They should be ok for now…"

"Hello, sweetheart…" Barbara cut him off with quick smiling beam to the entering from rear door, Bernadette…Stuart in tow… "Howard and Rajesh with you?..."

"Sheldon?...I don't see any axes…Besides, we're going the wrong way…Amy and Penny went the other way…" Leonard pointed out, halting in the next car… "Sheldon?..." he stared as Sheldon pulled berth curtains…

"This one's empty too, look…Confirming my theory…Everyone's left or been evacuated but us…" Sheldon urged him to peer into several berths… "Anyway we're not going back that way…We need to take the outside route back…"

"Outside?...Sheldon?..."

"Leonard?...The woman you love has gone to fight our nemesis…Alone but for my Amy…Are you saying you prefer to hang back, chicken out, hole up in coward's corner…?" hard stare…

"Hey…" This from the man who was shrieking like a girl that his "nemesis" was back for him a little while ago?...

Still, I guess it's nice he's sucking it up for Amy…

"What?…No…But, outside?..."

"We need the element of surprise…" Sheldon insisted…"While our ladies fair confront the fiend on the battle field, we slip round their flank and rush them…Come, we'll make due with my mastery of the martial arts…Out the window…" he opened the nearest window…

Your what?...Stare…

"Out there?...On the track?…On a bridge?..."

"Leonard, while a summary of the difficulties may be useful at times, your tendency to restate the obvious is a bit needlessly time-consuming…Yes…Yes…And yes, we are on a bridge…Now come…I'll give you a leg up…"

"What if we can't get back in?..." Apart from our slipping to our deaths out there like a version of two of the Three Stooges…

"I've a knife from the club car…We'll doodad our way if necessary, like Sir Howard…"

Amy's honorific…Well-earned for his bravery and skill in our last encounter with the Beast…He noted…

"I've a bad feeling about this…Sheldon?..."

"Leonard…Amy is danger…As is Penny, but that's your department…"

Lovely…

"Fine, fine…You know if this is Charlotte again…" Leonard climbed up, Sheldon assisting him … "I really am gonna complain to your gran-in-law…"


	20. Chapter 20

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XXI…

"There's my wire…" Howard pointed… "Give me a hand with it, Leonard…Uh, sir?..." he addressed a pleasant Bashir… "If you and our friend Raj there could see if you can find a phone in the car…I thought we saw one earlier to the front…We'll pull the wire over and see if we can't hook up a line…"

"Certainly…" quick glance to Faisal who nodded slightly, he joined Raj at the front of the car…As Howard eyed Faisal…

"Howard?..." puzzled look as Wolowitz pulled on the wire…Dragging it toward the front…

"Leonard?...Where did you meet that fella?..." whisper…

"Oh, he was just wandering…Looking to see what's up, like us…"

"Like us, eh?...And the only other passenger we've found not evacuated…Who happens to look like the group Raj and I met up with…The quote, repair, unquote, crew?..."

"Looks like?..."

"My Semetic brothers of another faith if you want to be PC about it…"

"Howard…" frown… "Why do you…Er we…Always profile Middle Eastern peoples…I thought you were the one who'd been on a peace-and-understanding among-Arabs-and-Jews committee at MIT?..."

"I was…Years ago, back in Massachusetts…" puzzled stare… "When did I mention that?..."

"Oh…Years ago, I suppose…It stuck in my mind, I guess…" Faisal solemnly… "But don't tell me you've gone all paranoid…I always admired that about you…"

"You did?...Hmmn…Might have been nice if you'd ever mentioned it when Penny was dumping on my self-centered lack of concern for the rest of Humanity…Anyway, no…I still believe in understanding…And it was a great way to meet the sort of dedicated chicks who go for principled types…"

Frowning stare…

"What?...I was spreading peace and understanding through physical intimacy…Or, trying to…You know it's actually pretty hard to lecture on world peace and harmony to a girl while trying to undo her burka or blouse…Anyway, the point here is…At least two of our 'rescuers' are not only of Middle Eastern aspect but belying their claim to be average multiethnic American Joes, they are on a terrorist web list…High level, active terrorists…"

"Really?...Terrorists?...You're sure?..."

"I don't risk heart failure lightly, Hofstadter…Yes, I'm sure…So either Charlotte has called in some very heavy guns for round 3 or we got even bigger troubles then the thwarted passion of the other Ms. Dr. Fowler…"

Faisal shaking head… "I can't believe it…"

"I'll be happy to show you the stored data later…For now, lets ditch our 'friend' with the 'sick wife' who's probably been sent to watch for us and try to make that call before he has us cut off or cut more personally…"

"Ok…Ummn…Let me handle him…I'll keep him busy while you call…Oh, and where's everybody else now, by the way?..."

"Didn't you just leave them?..." Howard looked at him…

"Ummn…Some of them…Yeah…I was…Ummn…With Penny…My beautiful girlfriend who's so kind to our dear friend Amy…"

"Uh-huh…Well, Raj and I just sent Stuart and Bernie back…Didn't you see them on the way?..." worried tone…

"I might have missed them…Had to use the bathroom coming down…"

"Ok…We'd better check soon as we can in case our 'repair team' decided to grab them…As for Sheldon and the rest they should be up front in our car…"

"Right, our car up front…Well, I'll see if I can get the gentleman to come with me and then go see if I can find the others…Good luck with the call…"

"Thanks…" perturbed look as Leonard went up to Bashir and Raj…

Oh, now come on…Charlotte or terrorists hiring actor doubles?...That is getting paranoid…He returned to pulling the wire…

Was a neat fake beard though…Gotta ask Sheldon where he picked it up…I always thought I'd look good in a goatee…Sorta a Toulouse-Lautrec look…

"So this is it?..." Kahid eyed the female "conductor" who nodded...

"This is the last car before the club car…Everyone but Dr. Fowler and her friends should now be off the train, we got everyone in their sleeper off while they were out and about…Once we check this one we can detach from the engine…"

"Great…" he beamed… "A few unbothered moments with our future Queen and her buds…Thanks so much…Guys?..." he turned to his now numbering five team members… "Lets have a quick look to be sure everyone's gone and then we can start wrapping this up…"

Perhaps a bit literally in the case of our new Queen…

"What about Cooper and the others?..." the "conductor" asked quietly…

"We'll take care of them…" Kahid smiled… "Don't worry, there'll be no 'secondary issues' to trouble our beloved uncle…"

"This is meant to be a 'mess-free' operation, sir…" she frowned…

"No muss, no fuss, ma'am…Just leave it to us…The 'repair crew'…" grin… "Fellas?..." he indicated the door to the next car…

"Oh, excuse me…" Amy stared…At the group with conductor in the open doorway…

"Ma'am…" Kahid nodded pleasantly… "Hello, Miss…" he smiled to Penny…

Drharain…American Embassy, Office of the Assistant Consul…

"I should go, Roger…"

"Not yet…"

"Roger…My 'husband' is waiting…"

"Hamid can keep his pants on a little longer…" but, release...His "associate administrator" pulling back…He regarding her with smile…

"If you want him to start wondering about us…You're doin' a fine job…" she frowned, pulling blouse…

"Hey, he'd expect it…I'm sure in fact he'd wonder if I wasn't making passes at you…" he buttoned his shirt collar, straightening and pulling tie…

"Passes are one thing, an affair is another…"

"Well, he'll have much bigger romantic concerns when you divorce him next month…But the solace of a country to run, and his good buddy, namely me to offer a shoulder to cry on…"

"He's not a bad guy, you know…A little authoritarian and duplicitious as any politician but he only did this to win a little independence from us…"

"And be the power behind the throne…It's nice you don't despise the guy after four years of marriage but don't get sentimental…He's not exactly Che fighting the Yankee dog for freedom…He's a pretty typical sort, looking for power…Besides, no one ordered you to end the marriage…"

"Can't be with a guy I don't love forever, Roger…I did my duty…To my country and to Dad, bless his scheming little heart…" frown…

"Hey, Draper didn't like the idea, you know that…He wasn't even let in on the operation…"

"Dad's no fool, Roger…He knew what a sham this marriage was…And as always for 'Don Draper'/Dick Whitman, silence and moving forward was his favored strategy…" she paused… "I think knowing he knew and did nothing, didn't even utter a word of protest that I was selling myself hurt the most in all of this…Hamid's actually been very sweet to me…"

"He'd have heard about it from me if he hadn't been…As a family friend…" Roger smiled… "Sweetheart, we all do our bit for the greater good…And now you're getting an out…And marrying the…Jesus…Guy of your dreams…Though it will be a shame to lose our best contact and hold on good ole Hamid…"

"And still staying on the job…At least regards Queen Amy…Until she's settled and properly trained…" hard stare…

Roger, now on his feet, pulling up and setting trousers and putting on waistcoat, then suit, paused to give a mock salute… "And your country honors your service, Gretchen Draper…Nice of Hamid to let you keep the name for business…"

"Made me less of a target…He was concerned for me, you know…" pensive look…

"Moving…So when can I expect ole Hamid to come by looking for a shoulder to cry on?..." he smoothed his hair…

"You said to hold things until we have Fowler here and secure…"

"Oooh, just like that?...And right off to be remarried to a stick in the mud Yankee?...Ouch…I'll have to lay in some good stuff for the poor guy…That will be one hard slap in the face, coming on top of our spanking this week…"

"I tole you I've dropped hints to Hamid…" she frowned… "Roger, I'm not happy about any of this…"

"Sweetheart, Hamid's a big boy…Who just had 373 of his old comrades arrested after luring them to Drharain and just this morning had 23 of the leadership shot in their prison cells while 'trying to escape'…Again, I wouldn't sentimentalize the guy…Close as you two have been…"

She sighed… "Sometimes I really hate this job…"

"Really?..." he grinned… "I've always found it challenging, stimulating, all around great…And the fringe benefits are not to be sneered at…"


	21. Chapter 21

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XXII…

"Pull a little more…" Howard urged… "Almost there, Raj…We're nearly…There…"

"Come on, come on…" Raj…Urgently reaching…

Hmmn…George Takei pleasantly beaming from a corner at the front of the train car at Howard…Katie Sackhoff in Bernadette's nightgown beside George, frowning…

Howard…?

"What, no..." he stared…

"Dude…?" Raj eyed him… "No, I can't go further…"

"Huh?..." Oh, right…The wire…

No?...And yet…George smiling…Here I am, once again…

"Ah, no…Damn…"

"No, I don't think we can make it…" Raj noted…

I had faith in you, Howard…Katie sighed…And now, with the very man who betrayed you?...

"No!..." Howard glared…

"Ok…You know I just agreed with you…" Raj sighed… "Lets see what we can do…"

"Yeah, sure…Sorry…"

Hey, don't yell at Katie…George shook his head… She's not your problem…

"Just a little worried about Bernadette…Leonard said he didn't see her coming up…"

Thanks…Katie beamed…

Don't mention it…George patted her shoulder…

You know, George…Katie beaming…I always had the worst crush on you…

I know, I used to pass them all on to Shatner…George sighed…

"Howard?..."

"Hmmn?..."

"I said, do you want to try pulling the wires here and seeing if we can reach?..." Raj, indicating the train phone on the wall…

"Huh?..." blink… "Uh, yeah…We can try that…"

Still…Adventure must appeal to you…Katie grinned…And since Howie seems preoccupied…

"Hey, I'm with Bernadette now…I thought we were clear on that!..."

"Dude?...I get that you're still upset but can't we put our personal problems on hold till the crisis is settled?..."

"Huh?...Oh, yeah…Sure…" Howard nodded…

I do believe in exploring the unknown…George smiled…And there is a certain manly quality to you…

Thanks…I think…Katie morphed into Bernadette…Bye, Howie…George and I are gonna see if ill-matched fantasy characters can find happiness…She called…Both fading out…

Whoa…Either that was a weird sort of closure on my fantasy life…Or I really need to settle this and patch things up with Bernie, tout suite…Howard stared…

George Takei and Bernie?...Let alone Katie?...Where did that come from?...

Your own fears of inadequacy, obviously…But I must say…I find your lack of faith…Disturbing…George reappeared, momentarily…Stern frown…

"Dude?...Are we gonna connect or what?..." Raj held the pulled wire to him…

"No!…I mean…We need a little more length…Wait…I got it…" sigh…

Don't sweat it, Howie…Fantasy Bernadette reappeared, beaming… I'm on your side…

Katie separately reappearing…With George…

It'll be fine, Howard…Just trust your heart…She beamed…

I dunno…George, shaking head solemnly…I sense a great disturbance in the Force…

Eh, don't let him get to you, Howard…Fantasy Bernadette smiled… We all have our doubts and fears…But even if things don't work out…You know you loved me…And it's all ok…

That's the stuff, fantasy sis…Come on sourpuss…Lets let him be…Katie pulled at George…And maybe that "great disturbance" is my doing…She grinned…

Mmmn…He frowned…I'm not sure about this…Nichelle tried and failed back in the 60s…

Come on, we'll be like Linda and Cole Porter…She teased… We'll inspire each other…And it'll make your next book of memoirs jump off the shelves…

Well…One photoshot with you on my arm would sure stick in Shatner's craw…George beamed…

Bye, Howie…The three waved…

Dial tone…

"I told Howard I'd get you away…He suspects you…" Faisal was explaining to Bashir in the next car forward…

"Suspects me?..."

"He's met some of the team Hamid and his American contacts sent…To get Amy to see me…Bashir?..." troubled look…Bashir looking puzzled...

"Majesty?..."

"Hamid's people are all ok, aren't they?...Just our regular security teams?..."

"Unfortunately, Sire…Minister Hamid keeps a very closed fist as to his operations…I've not had much access to his people, especially since your father took ill…"

"Howard says he identified two of them as terrorists…We don't use terrorists, do we?...It's just some American paranoia, right?..." worried look…

"There have been disturbing rumors, Majesty…" Bashir frowned… "To be honest, your father was a bit concerned about some of Minister Hamid's operations in recent years…He was urging efforts to make contacts with various unsavory groups, claiming it could allow infiltration but…"

"Yeah?..."

"Your father indicated to me Hamid had suggested forging links outside the Americans' awareness…To give us leverage in new ways with them…"

"Dad didn't go along with that?..." Faisal stared…

"Your father was no supporter of terrorists…But he did see the value of having independent contacts with some of the groups, partly for intelligence, partly in hopes of acquiring influence…And he did have his moments of frustration with some of the Americans' more heavy-handed styles…"

"But why would Hamid put terrorists on the team to see if Amy would come and speak to me…?"

"One would have to assume, Majesty…If true, he felt more 'persuasive' efforts might be required…"

"I distinctly said 'No pressure'…" Faisal frowned…But, sheepish look… "Though I suppose, just sending guys to 'talk' to her and getting the CIA involved…"

"CIA, sire?..." stare…

"Hamid cleared things with the Americans about sending his people and they were sorta…Involved…From then on…I figured at first it was the right thing to do, getting clearance from them…But this is sounding a little…Grey…"

"Indeed, very grey, Majesty…No offense…"

"Sheldon?..." Leonard called…The wind rising a bit, he raised his voice t te

"Leonard?...Please keep your volume and vocal register down a bit…" Sheldon, looking back to him…Inching along the track…Hand on train's metal side…

Ow…Cold…He pulled hand away…

"How much farther?...Sheldon?...We're gonna fall right off here!..."

"Only a fifty percent chance…Though your unnecessary statement of the possibility is doubtless increasing the odds against us…"

"Fine…When do we stop this nonsense and get back in…It's freezing…"

"Soon as we reach Amy and Penny and can join the fray…As for heat, where's your manly glow in defense of your beloved?..."

"Blown out by the wind here…And I still doubt there's any 'fray' going on, Sheldon…"

Still, it would have to be Sheldon getting all 'manly' in his 'glow' for his girl…Howard I could just assume was lying…

Hmmn…Sheldon peered into the next window in the line of car windows…

Fascinating…He looked back at Leonard…

"You look rather good with a beard, Leonard…"


	22. Chapter 22

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XXIII…

"Is that?..." the 'conductor', whispering, eyed Kahid… "Oh, yeah…" he whispered back…Smiling at Amy…

"You'd best go and take care of that business in the engine car?..." he spoke up to her…Quick warning glances round to his team…All of whom were trying not to stare at their recognized quarry…

Who for her part sensed vaguely that something odd was up…

But then, heterosexual males do sense when a rare bird of paradise, female variety, has been lost to them forever…Snatched up by the alpha male…

I must get advice from Penny on how to reset my clearly smouldering sexual furnace…I can't be a respectable married lady with poor deluded males falling over my every appearance in public…

Could I?...

"Better hurry…" Kahid urged, politely…The 'conductor', a bit hesitant, nodding a bit and excusing herself as she passed by the two women, left at the front of the car…

"How goes the repairs?..." Penny asked…

Nice-looking bunch…Guess a train repair crew still gotta keep in shape…I'd've thought they'd all be chubby Wilford Brimley types with caps and pocketwatches…Like Sheldon's…

"Still trying to find the problem, miss…" Kahid replied, smiling… "Sorry your trip has to be so long interrupted…But we think we'll be all done here soon…"

"Great…We're just gonna head on back to get our things…"

"Oh?...Sorry, but the rear cars have been sealed off till we get moving…Didn't you get the evacuation notice?..."

"No, we didn't…" Amy, a bit anxious… "But we just have to check our things a moment and we'll be right back…"

"I'm really sorry, ma'am…" Kahid shook head apologetically… "But it's a safety matter and we can't permit…"

"Faisal?..." Amy stared at the now open door to the rear of the car…

"Dr. Amy?..." Faisal stared back…Forgetting his efforts at concealment…

"What the fuck?..." Leonard, staring from a window, to Sheldon as they stood on the track, peering in…

"Ok…So they're certain there's damage to the tracks, nothing about the train?...I see, that's what you were told…Well, do you know why the railroad evacuated the train and why there's a repair team surveying the train?...I see, you weren't told any of that…This is the Lake Shore Limited Railroad Line office?...Right but they don't tell you nothing, I see…Well, thanks for your time…Say, who does my lawyer sue if I and my friends die out here tonight?...Right, you wouldn't know…Thanks again…" Howard hung up…

"Well, that covers the rail line and Amtrack and the state police and every Federal office connected with these rail lines I could think of…" he eyed Raj… "They all say the same thing…No reports of train damage, just reports of trouble along the line ahead…"

"And no one knows of a repair car being dispatched…?" Raj, carefully…

"Nope…"

"Delightful…So these guys are unaccounted for…And you still sure several will be found on lists of jihad's finest?..."

"Looks like it…Pretty sure…"

"And the local cops think we're pranksters?..."

"I don't think the boys in blue are scurrying to our defense, no…Though we could keep hounding them, that might at least get them to trace the call and send a car…As for the FBI, their recorded message promised they'd get back to me asap, meaning probably never or at least not until our reeking corpses appear on CNN…"

"Lovely…Who else can we call?..."

"Well, I could try the local right wing xenophobes but they'd probably kill us along with our terrorist sidekicks…"

"You mean they'd kill me…They'd just 'accidentally' blow your head off in the crossfire, though you might squeeze by if you claim you just look Jewish…Bernadette and the others'd probably do all right though…What?...Dude, I rather think I'm being nobly self-sacrificing here…"

"We'll keep it as an option if all else fails…" Howard, frowning…

"Faisal?...Pardon me, Prince Faisal…What the heck are you doing here?..." Amy stared… Penny, behind her, looking the little fellow over…

Perhaps a bit grimly…Narrow glance at her best friend…

Oh, I definitely am grilling my clone on that wedding…

"Dr. Amy….A thousand pardons…" Faisal bowed slightly… Bashir coming up quickly behind him in guard mode…

Kahid and the team eyeing Faisal carefully…

Well…

Clearly we've moved to a whole new level…

"Your Majesty…" Kahid addressed him…

"Sheldon?..." outside, Leonard was shaking his head…What in the name of…?

"Who is that guy?..."

"That is a rhetorical question, correct?...I wouldn't want to believe you've come to believe in things psychic and the occult…"

"Rhetorical…But who the hell is he?..."

"Easy enough to address…" Sheldon went to the nearest window… "Boost, please?..."

"What are you doing?...Sheldon…"

"Getting an answer to your repeated question in a far more rational manner…And learning whatever it is, if anything, that may be threatening my beloved…And yours since I assume you and Penny are, yet again, an item, as they say…I need that boost, Leonard…"

"I don't think we should just barge in till we know what's what…Maybe we should go up to the next car, come in behind them…"

"And if the windows are closed and there's no one to let us in?...Very well…" Sheldon eyed Leonard's uncertain look… Jumping up…Banging on the window…Down…

"What?..." Penny stared at the fleeting, banging figure at the window…Kahid's team immediately rushing over…Bashir pulling gun and taking a defensive spot by Faisal who, at Amy's startled look, urged him to "Stand down…"

"OW!..." Leonard, howling…Desperately avoiding backing to the side dropoff… "Sheldon?...Are you insane?..."

"Run…" Sheldon pointed up the track… "Hide behind the rear connection…They'll take me in and if there's trouble you can get help…Go!..." he insisted …"Too late, go under!…" seeing the window being forced open…

"Under?..."

"The train, you idiot!...Go!..."

The window opened…Kahid looking out… "Who's there?...Show yourselves!...We're official personnel and we have permission to use force!...Come on out, it's dangerous on the track here!..."

"Right here…" Sheldon edged forward…Waving… "Sorry, just trying to see what all the fuss was about…"

"Sheldon?..." Amy had come over… "What are you doing out there?..."

Hmmn, so this is Cooper…Kahid eyed Sheldon…Sheldon standing only about a foot from where the track edged off into darkness…

Would make for an easy solution…


	23. Chapter 23

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XXIV…

Hmmn…Sheldon, now on his feet after being pulled into the car by Kahid and his men, regarded the situation…

The Leonard clone with beard apparently a bit fixated on Amy…

(Also a rather capable-looking, in the sense of knowing how to use and experienced in using, fellow with gun standing by said bearded Leonard clone and a bunch of rather fit and capable-looking, in the sense of also knowing how to use and experienced in using, lethal weapons, fellows in what appeared to be repair crew outfits, all these others of no import whatsoever…)

"Sheldon…" Amy, nervous tone…

"Dr. Cooper, I presume…" Faisal, polite, attempting a friendly tone at Sheldon's glare…

"I think you'd best get His Majesty to a safer location…" Kahid hissed to Bashir… "We're here at Minister Hamid's…"

"I know why you're here…" Bashir, calmly… "And His Majesty is quite capable of deciding when he wants to leave, thank you…"

"Sheldon…" Amy…Choking up a bit, as she attempted introductions… "Prince…"

"King…" Bashir cut in, politely…

"Oh…" Amy blinked… "Oh, I'm terribly sorry…"

"Thanks…Dad went just this evening, peacefully, I think…" Faisal nodded…

"What do we do…?" Kahid's teammate, Kadim hissed...The other team members eyeing him…He waving hand slightly… Hold on…

"Prince…King Faisal?..." Sheldon stared… "Your grant funder from the MidEast…?"

"Dhrarain…A great pleasure, Dr. Cooper…Dr. Amy's told me so much about you…"

"Indeed?..." Sheldon, stare at Amy who wilted slightly… "Told you all about me, eh?...Well isn't that nice?..."

"And I told you all about King Faisal…You do remember, Sheldon…"

"Yes…Don't seem to remember him being described as Leonard Hofstadter's twin, though…Or of being anywhere near our age…"

"Guess it never occurred to me it would be of interest…" she noted, small voice…

Sheldon…Penny sighed… Don't do this… "Sheldon?..." she spoke up… "What were you doing out there?..."

"Nothing…Just trying to save my fiancée from anything dangerous or threatening…" he frowned…

"As you always do, my darling…" Amy, finding voice… "But everything's fine and His Majesty just…"

"'Popped in'"…Sheldon suggested…

"Uh…Yes…'popped in'…To…Uh…" Amy, anxious look to Faisal…

Please…Oh, please…

"…To congratulate you both…Dr. Fowler having done such wonderful research work for our institute over the last ten years…" Faisal, beaming…Slight blink… "I was so pleased to hear she'd found such happiness…She having become, in a way…A dear friend over the years…"

Amy, beaming…

Penny, catching on…Tearing a little…

Oh…

Oh…Slight griming…Now I am worried…

"Oh…Well…" Sheldon, unclenching ju-jitsu fist of death… "That's very nice of you, thank you…"

Kahid waving his men to him…

"Sire…If we might leave you for a moment…We should report in…" he addressed Faisal who nodded…They moving to the front of the car, exiting….Bashir watching…

"You mean to say you came all the way in from Dhrarain…To wish Amy happiness…?" Sheldon stared…

"Well…Uh…Yeah…Though I was also delivering a plane and some equipment to your government…An experimental model your folks here were letting us test out for our air force…" Faisal, hastily… "Figured as long as we were gonna be dropping in at Chicago to hand over the plane anyway…"

"That's very kind of you, your Majesty…" Amy, smiling at him, said…

"Not at all…Don't mention it…Oh…" Faisal hastily reached hand in pocket…Fumbling… 'I've a little present…" he pulled out a small box… "It belonged to my mother…" he opened it and handed it to Amy who gasped a bit…

"Wow…" Penny stared at the bracelet within the box… "Are those rubies…?"

"Nice…But I gave her a tiara…" Sheldon noted archly…

"And you've got to see it…" Amy beamed… "It makes me look like a princess….But this is lovely, really…" she put the bracelet on, holding up her arm…

"Nice…Not as nice as a tiara…" Sheldon noted, nodding… "I got her a tiara…"

"Thank you so much…Your Majesty…" Amy eyed Faisal…

Thank you…Thank you…

"Not at all…Congratulations…Ummn…Dr. Cooper…You're a lucky man…" Faisal, smile to Amy… "We'll be sorry to lose Dr. Amy…"

"Yes…Wait…" Sheldon, frowning…. "How did you know to find us here?..."

"Report on the train over our plane's radio…His Majesty knew of your traveling to Maine by train thanks to Dr. Fowler's latest report to us…" Bashir cut in…Friendly smile… "And the transportation officials confirmed that you were stalled out here, so His Majesty felt it a good opportunity to bestow his best wishes without a lot of fuss and nonsense…Protocol and all, especially with the death of the late King…"

Well done, sire…Smile to Faisal…

An act worthy of a great king…And a true lover…

"I see…Well, hardly lose…" Sheldon noted… "Amy will be continuing her work of course…Much as I wish she'd opt for Physics, I suppose Neurobiology can't afford to lose one of its leading lights…They not being many I believe…"

Thanks, kid…Er, King… Penny's warm smile…Faisal returning, a bit sheepishly…

"Well, certainly…And we're glad to continue the relationship…As it was…" Faisal noted, careful look to Amy… "It's just…We would have been very pleased…And proud…To have offered her a leading position in Dhrarain…"

Very proud… He repeated…

"I'm honored, your Majesty…" Amy, attempt at curtsy… "But I think I must decline…My life is here…"

"Of course…" Faisal…Slightest of sighs…"I understand completely…"

Wow…Penny stared…

"'Wow', what?..." Sheldon asked…

"Oh…I didn't realize I was speaking out loud…" Penny noted… "Uh, 'wow…That sure is one flashy ruby bracelet…Wow'"

"It's beautiful…" Amy smiled… "Really, thanks…Your Majesty…"

"Please…Accept it as the thanks of a grateful people and their King…" Faisal smiled… "But in return, please…Faisal…?"

"Faisal…" Amy beamed….

"Well, this has all been very nice…" Sheldon, hastily… "But would you and your people have any idea when we're going to get moving…Since it seems your security people are fraternizing so well with the repair crew…"

"Afraid I can't say…" Faisal shrugged… "But I'll ask my people to lend a hand, if they can…"

"Why were they posing as repair personnel?..." Amy, puzzled…

"Security concerns, ma'am…" Bashir, politely… "I hope they caused no trouble?..."

"Oh, no…They were very polite…Did they evacuate the train?..." she asked…

"I hope you realize I don't believe, as my mother would say, this load of bullcrap any more than doubting Thomas believed Jesus had risen…" Sheldon hissed to Penny…

"If so, I'm sure it was in arrangement with the train staff…" Bashir…

"Amy didn't do anything wrong…Don't humiliate her…Play along, Fowler angel boy…" Penny hissed back, smiling at Faisal… "Please, Sheldon…"

"Just sayin'…" he frowned, whispering…

" 'Nuff said…" she frowned, whispering… "And where's the unroyal twin…?"

"Under…" Sheldon began…

"So no one's been around but us since you left that conductor and the repair guys?..." Bernadette, seated in the club car, addressed Barbara… "Dark-haired, waifishly seductive, elegant dresser…?"

"Not a peep, dear…Were you expecting anyone?..." Barbara, smiling…

"Oh, no…No one specific…Just maybe a passenger or two…"

Or Trouble…With a capital C…

"It's pretty odd no one's joined us here or asked us to evacuate…" Stuart noted…"Might be a good idea to try the front cars, even to the engine…Maybe I'll go and have a look…"

"I'm up for a stroll…" Martin noted, with pleasant smile… "If you don't mind having an elderly geezer along…?"

"I appreciate the company, thanks…"

"We'll keep house here, boys…In case the conductor or the others come by…Be careful…" Barbara smiled, quick pat to Martin…

"Copacetic, don't worry…" he beamed… "Ready, kid?...Maybe they'll let us have a crack at the engine, if that's the problem…I used to be able to fix almost anything…Girls…" he waved as the two moved off…

"Take care, Stuart…" Bernadette urged…

"Break anything, he means…" Barbara, smiling…But watching him leave through the front door with fixed stare…

"You two have been together a long time?..." Bernadette asked…Catching the slight anxiety…

"So long I can't remember being without him…" Barbara sighed… "Not always a strictly good thing…Sometimes…Even an unbearable thing…" pensive, then quick return to light manner…

"Well…I love how you two get on…" Bernadette beamed…Turning a bit melancholy in turn… "I hope it works out so well for me someday…"

"Just a matter of determining that it's what you want most, dear and being willing to do anything for it…"

"Like Sheldon and Amy…" sigh… "I don't know sometimes if I have what it takes…"

"A matter of deciding what you really want sweetheart…Which is the hardest thing in the world…"

Quick turn at the sound of the rear door opening…The female conductor stepping through…

"From what I'm hearing from our surveillance, no sir…Not like a nuptial…" Kahid, to his satellite phone as he stood alone in the connecting passage between the next car where his men waited and the previous…

"Not exactly hitting the fan, sir…But beginning to splatter… " he noted… "The question is Mr. Collins, do we want to cut our losses and see what we can do with Faisal?...My boys are a bit restive…After all, accepting a deal working with us, even in the interests of a new and safe Dhrarainian haven, and with my favoring the plan, was a bit of a leap of faith…I don't know if they'll accept no trophies but a new king's thanks here…Not to mention I hate to give up such a potentially rich vein and have to start digging all over again… Yes, I do have an idea…But…" pause…

"There is some potential for a bit more mess than we'd hoped…" he noted…

Office of the American Consulate, Dhrarain…

"Sir?..."

"Collins, old kid…How goes 'Operation Maltese Fowler'?...The bird been secured?..." Roger addressed his laptop…Gretchen eyeing from her desk…

"A little trouble, sir…Our man reports His Majesty has somewhat clouded the situation…"

"Faisal?...What's happened?...The kid didn't go and get himself killed?..." slight alarm…

"No, sir…He gave up Dr. Fowler…"

Gretchen eyeing Roger…

"He what?..."

"They just had an encounter, all three, sir…Faisal congratulated Cooper and gave them his blessing…"

"What?...Jesus…" sigh… "Great…Our romantic hero screwed the pooch, eh?..."

"Looks like it, sir…But our man has a back-up plan…"

"That's our boy 'Kahid'…So…?"

"A somewhat 'messy' back-up, sir…"

Pause…

"Not in front of the kid?..."

"Not if possible, sir…"

Pause…Roger, sighing…Gretchen eyeing him…

"Well, sir?...What are your orders here?..." Collins' voice on speaker…

Roger eyed Gretchen, Gretchen, Roger…

"Hmmn…Well, Coll…It's a delicate matter…" Roger noted, click a button on his cell phone…

"'You're to terminate him…With extreme prejudice'…" the recording spoke…

Gretchen staring…Roger 'dropped' phone…

"Oops…" he grinned… "I can never work these things…Neat ring tone app, though, eh?...Hey, Coll, you still there?...Can't give any additional orders right now…Best of luck…Over and out…"

"Right, sir…" slight sigh at Collins' end…

"Roger…" Gretchen gasped…

"Hey…Did I give any official orders?..." he grinned…


	24. Chapter 24

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XXV…

New York City…

"Don…" a weary female voice…The ever lovely, if weary, face of Megan Draper…

"Hmmn?...Megan?...What time is it?..."

"Too early for you to be getting calls…Here…" she handed phone over across the bed…Corded, the Drapers leaning toward the traditional whenever possible…

"God, this better not be Campbell again…Or I'll have him killed…" Draper sighed, taking phone…

"Yes?...What?...Dhrarain…?"

Megan perking….Alert and worried at once…Brushing back dark hair streaked with silver…

Gretchen?...She sat up…

"Yes, put it through…Gretchen?...What's the matter?..."

Megan tensing…Mentally thumbing through emergency plans established ever since her only biological daughter had announced her intention to first, work for that ass, Roger Jr, in that god-or Allah-or whatever-forsaken country, then marry that surfacey-charming but rather instinctively alarming Hamid character…

And somehow, based on those little quirky jerks and desperately hidden guilty flashes she'd learned to read in her husband's generally masked nature…Dick Whitman was somehow in back of it…She repressed a frown…Don had opposed both the job and the marriage after all…But like a true Draper, whatever was really up with her work…And she'd little doubt that like Roger Jr., Gretchen did more than work as an administrator for State…Gretchen Draper had insisted on having her own way and performing whatever duplicity was necessary to get it…Agreeing not to take the job, then going…Agreeing she'd think about the marriage, then announcing it…

"What?...Listen, Gretchen, are you sure this line is secure?...You know exactly what I mean, sweetheart…"

Well, that answers that…Megan sighed...Frowning at Draper next to her…

Well, who better than a Draper to spy for her country?...

"I'll want answers, Dick…" she hissed at a break in the conversation…

He put up a hand… "Ok…Gretchen, what do you mean, Roger's gone off the deep end?..."

I knew that smirking bastard should've been castrated at birth…Megan glared…Never a son more like the father…

"Ok…Who's being…Whatever…?" Draper, cautiously…

If it's rape…I'll do the job myself…Megan thought…Though I thought she promised to keep a gun or taser handy whenever working in that office…

Though being a (Whitman-)Draper…I guess I can imagine there'd be a degree of voluntary cooperation…

Still at least she's not dead or calling to say she's surrounded by an insane mob, howling for her blood…

And it does sound like it's someone other than my little girl…Whatever…Is being done to…

"Jesus…Why did he decide that?...Oh, he didn't decide 'officially'…Lovely…Gretch, I don't know what I can do about it…I have very little influence on Roger Jr…And none at all on his superiors…But are you ok?...Good…Ok…Sweetheart, I'll do what I can, I'm just an ad man…" sigh…

Still…She does still believe 'Don Draper' can make everything right…I guess that's a (Whitman-)Draper trait as well…Megan, sympathetic look to Don…Who nodded and resumed…

"What about his superiors?...All right…What's the name again?...Cooper?...And some other people…On a train?...In Dhrarain?...Here?..." puzzled tone… "He's having this done…Here?...He has flipped his lid…Yes, I remember five years ago, sweetheart…Yeah…" sigh…

"It was terrible…All those people…"

Megan staring…Eyes wide…

"Gretch, I'll do what I can…Don't let Roger know you called me, ok?...What about Hamid, can you safely confide in him?...He can't want this sort of publicity if things go south…Right…Ok, forget that angle…All right, sweetheart…I'll try…Do you want to talk to Mother?..."

Of course she wants to talk to me…Megan frowned…

"Here…" Don handed the phone over… "Don't press her…You know I'll tell you what I can, later…"

"Hey, Gretch…" Megan affected a light tone… "How's 110-in-the-shade-land treatin' ya?..."

Draper sighing, turned to the edge of the bed…

Well, if I have to get involved…And up at this hour…No way I'm not having Campbell in on this one…

Good grief…What the hell does Stirling expect to gain out of a Saint Valentine 's Day Massacre on the shores of Lake Erie…?

Not to mention…Certainly will send Campbell's five year PR campaign to improve Drharain's image as a tourist mecca right down the toilet…Should it get out…And it always does, to some extent…

Megan, bubbly tone… "It was great to hear from you, honey…No…Call us anytime…Even if the problem is just a little one, you know we always want to help…Best to Hamid, bye…" she leaned over to hang up….

Frown at Draper now up and dressing… "Well…Are we talking Agent Cooper and co getting massacred here or what?..." she eyed him…

Kahid had rejoined his men who were now a bit restive…Sensing trouble…And none too happy about playing deference to the despised tool of the Americans…

Quick glance to Kadim…Or rather 'Kadim'…Plan B…He mouthed…

Right…

"So, are we taking the American bitch back to fornicate with the Yanks' royal poodle or what?..." Kadim, angry tone…

"The 'poodle''s broken it off…"

"What!...What about our operation?...She was essential…!" several of the others eyeing Kahid…Then, Kadim, uncertain…

"I've spoken to the Americans, they're ready to abort if that's what Faisal…"

"'The Americans'…'if that's what Faisal wants…'" sneer… "Who gives a damn what that fool wants?...When did the sons of jihad become errand boys for Uncle Sam?..."

The others eyeing both men, silent…Several nodding now…

"The plan is to have him clueless…What do you want to do, force her to go, in front of him?..."

"If we have to…I'll gladly keep a gun to his head throughout his glorious reign…"

"Don't be a fool…" calmly… "We'll simply have to work through him alone…Not as good, but…"

"I say we take the bitch and kill the Americans!...Including your new friend and his boys…"

Finally…Kahid noted the murmurs starting…

After all the recent disasters it takes a bit to fire the boys up…

"That'll make us seem reliable and trustworthy…Not to mention earning us a place right next to Number Six in Paradise…" Kahid, calmly… "Listen…All of you…There may be another way…" he paused… "After all, a girl can change her mind…At least the people here like to say so…" smile…


	25. Chapter 25

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XXVI…

Female "conductor"/agent Jeannie had reached the club car, Bernadette attempting to quiz her as she passed by them…

"Hey?...Can you tell us what's going on with the…?"

"Everything's being taken care of ma'am, just sit tight a bit longer…" curtly…

"Why haven't we been evacuated?...Everyone else seems to be gone…"

"Guess they missed you…But it'll be fine…We're very busy now, miss…" she eyed Barbara…Who gave her a slight frown…

"Business up front at the engine, dear?..." she asked, calmly…

"We're considering detaching the engine and pulling the train back to Chicago…But you'll be informed shortly…Excuse me, ladies…"

"What?...Hey!..." Bernadette tried…

"That doesn't sound good…" she noted…

"No…But I'm sure it's what they feel is the safest thing to do…" Barbara considered…Calm tone…

"We'd better see if the fellas know about this…Do you want to go tell Martin and Stuart?..."

"I'm sure the young lady will run into them…Why don't we go back together?...Things may get a bit bumpy if they go ahead with this idea and you might have trouble getting back to the boys and dear Penny…Just let me use the ladies' room a moment?..."

"Sure…"

Always good to make sure the poison gas nebulizer is full, the dart and standard guns are loaded, and the taser fully charged…Barbara thought, pleasant beam to Bernadette as she rose…

"It's from the first computer Sheldon ever owned…" a relieved Amy once again seized an opportunity to flaunt her engagement ring…Sheldon somewhat grimly posted at her side…

"Lovely…And a very neat idea…" Faisal nodded…She retracting arm, pleased…

Penny now a bit antsy as to Leonard's whereabouts…

Under?...As in, under the train?...

Yet, the nice Prince…er King, right…King's guy looking out hadn't spotted him or calling got him to come over to the window or door…

"I gotta go out and see if Leonard's ok…Ok?...Hello!..." Penny, annoyed at the lack of response…

"What?..." Amy stared…Oh, right…Leonard out under the train or something…

"Please, miss…" Bashir, kindly… "It's not safe out there, let me…"

Penny waving him off… "I'll get him…But come on if you want, I may need some help…"

Sure…Faisal nodded to Bashir's questioning glance…I'm quite safe here…

"Be kinda fun to meet my twin…" wan smile to Amy… "You were right about him, we could be clones…"

"Oh…" Sheldon…Vague attempt at polite tone… "You discussed Leonard's similarity in appearance during your many conversations over the years?..."

"Sheldon…" Amy, a bit nervous… "I just mentioned once in one of my two or three…"

"Two…" Faisal smiled…

"Two, yes…Personal emails…"

"To clarify some questions about the grants, etc…And in response to my questions…" Faisal, quickly…Catching Amy's pleading and Sheldon's careful stare…

"Just came up in the course of chit-chat about research grants, eh?...Amazing that Leonard should be such a source of fascination…"

"Yes, given the odds against him looking so much like a Dhrarainian prince…" Amy noted, now a bit annoyed…

Hey, I nipped Hofstadter's natural passion in the bud, beloved…Right at the start…

Even if I did resort to whorish makeup in an attempt to stir you to Othelloian jealousy…A rather successful attempt, if I do say so myself…

"It's the Persian and probably some Mediterranean…And, between us, probably a little Jewish from the Roman and Macedonian Empire days…" Faisal noted…

"That's between us…State secret…" grin…

Drharain…

Personal top security estate of the First Deputy Prime Minister…Study of the DPM…

"Hamid?..." Gretchen, hurriedly waving off attendant/guard…

"Sweetheart?...You're home early?..." Hamid, in comfortable chair, looked up from a book…

Always nice once things are set in motion and alls done that can be done to sit back and enjoy a quiet moment…

"How are things at work?..."

"There's trouble…" she, urgently… "The plan's gone a bit off track…Faisal let the girl go…"

"What?..."

"Roger's planning to enforce an action…Hamid, he's planning to kill the girl's boyfriend and likely the others with him…"

"With the King there?..." Hamid frowned…

"I think he plans to have it done away from him…Force Dr. Fowler into the arrangement…"

"Well, that was basically the plan, dear…" Hamid, relaxing… "As for killing Cooper and company, it was always a good possibility…"

"Hamid…" she stared… "You said this would be bloodless…And would free this country from both terrorism and us…"

"Relatively bloodless, darling…It's already involved a degree of bloodletting you know…Given the sad fate of Number Six and his associates…Surely you of all people don't value American lives over others…?"

"They were terrorists…These are innocent people…"

"Who is innocent in this awful world, sweetheart…"

"Hamid…I love you…I went along with helping you try to keep this from our people so we could help Drharain be free, independent, and secure…I even pretended to fall for that fool son of Dad's old friend so Roger wouldn't suspect me of keeping you informed on him…But I can't let innocents be killed…"

"Dear…You work for the CIA…Hardly an organization that's avoided killing a few innocents over the years…" he sighed…

"But not with my help…And you know I hate what we do…It's just like my father and his evasions over the years...Always lying, deceiving…Betraying the people who loved and trusted him…I wanted to help you end that here…Not kill more innocent people…"

"Sometimes these things happen…It's a shame but…"

"'The ends justify the means'?" she eyed him…

"That'll do…Though I'd've said…'No omelet without a few broken eggs'…Sweetheart, I'm sorry if I'm disappointing you…But what could I do in any case?...My hands are tied, firmly…Roger and his men are in control…"

"I never pretended to believe you were a saint, Hamid…"

"And I've never pretended to be so, my darling…"

"But I did think you put Drharain above your own ambition…A little, anyway…How could slaughtering a half-dozen people…Wait…" her eyes narrowed…

"You wanted Roger in charge of this…You let him find out about your plans…"

"He would have…He's no fool, dear and has many sources, even among my people…Though I do believe you've managed to deceive him about us…And it's best to let him believe he knows all…"

"You wanted this on their hands, the CIA…Something to hold over them…"

"I didn't plan it…" he shook head… "If the operation could have gone peacefully, I'd've been happy…But if people are unfortunately in the way…And Roger and co are eager and willing to eliminate such obstacles…It can't hurt that they have a few skeletons…Literally…To haunt them over this…Restores the balance a little…After all, Gretchen…It is that rather hard-headed, forward-moving style so trademark of your people…Shoot first, question…Well…" thin smile…Throwing of hands…

"I've told Dad…And asked him to intervene…"

"I see…" sigh…"Well, perhaps that's for the best…But I wouldn't get your hopes up too high, dear…Your father does tend to bring them down…" smile, genuine now…

"You know this would normally be the point where the evil mastermind kills the one person he cares for, his ego exceeding what little heart he (or she, respectful nod) has…"

"Fortunately, odds are I'd kill you first…" she eyed him…

He nodded…Wry smile… "But this is the real world and I've no desire to lose the one thing I love even more than power…Gretchen, I'll do what I can if you insist…"

"I do…If you love me…"

"Obviously far too much…"


	26. Chapter 26

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XXVII…

"So we isolate the Americans, particularly Dr. Cooper, from the royal 'poodle' and see that Dr. Fowler comes to understand the gravity of her decision and why she should rethink the matter and make the right choice… And Faisal and his guard are not to see anything, let alone be harmed… Understood?..."

"And once the Wicked Witch is in our grasp…And on her way to Drharain with you and an intensive session with Minister Hamid's 'marriage counselors'…" 'Kadim', now accepted as spokesman for the rest, eyed 'Kahid'…

"We tie up the loose ends…" 'Kahid' nodded… "And dump the sack of them in Lake Erie…"

"Faisal is sure to learn of Cooper's fate…At least that he 'vanished' with his friends…" 'Kadim' noted…

"Unfortunately…It seems the arrest and assassination of our beloved and glorious leader, Number Six, and co led to a terrorist reprisal, led by…Hmmn…" 'Kahid' scanned faces… "You, Omar…" he nodded to the burliest of his group… "You and…Anyone?..."

Hand raised…

"Thanks, Boulos…" he smiled at a small, dark, narrow-eyed figure… "You two fiendish terrorists infiltrated our group and in the confusion of the evacuation attempted to avenge Number Six by killing the King via blowing up the bridge and with it the train stalled here…While we shall rejoice at the safe escape of our ever-glorious 'poodle' to take up the burden of his office, sadly his new American friends shall not be so fortunate…Which should be provide sufficient reason both for his new bride's willingness to accept her fate and her strange numbed, depressive state…Which state no doubt the kind affection of our 'poodle' will gradually dispel as true love wins the day…"

"Beautiful…Sounds like a winner all around…For most of us…" 'Kadim' grinned… "But the American 'allies'?..."

"They couldn't wait to give approval…Hating to just throw away an operation like this…I'd guess they were just hoping we'd suggest it first…"

"It'll be a real pleasure working with them in future to make Drharain safe from us…Such a realistic people…" 'Kadim'...

Smiles all around…

"Oh, and don't forget to shoot me…Right arm, please Omar, so I can still drive or fly…Before you begin your vengeance strike…Wouldn't want to have anyone thinking we were all in on this…" 'Kahid' noted…

"Leonard?!..." Penny cried as she peered down the track by the rear door of the car… "Can you see him?..." she turned to Bashir, peering under the train…

"Not yet, miss!..." Bashir, over the now somewhat howling winds…

"Oh, Jesus…Sorry, no offense intended…Where is he?!...How that jerk Sheldon leave him out here?!..."

"None taken, ma'am!...I'm sure Dr. Cooper and Dr. Hofstadter himself felt it was best to have one of them secure until the other had confirmed things were safe for you inside!…" Bashir noted…

"Then it shoulda been Sheldon out here!...Oh…LEONARD!..." she howled…Trying to shield eyes well enough from the snow now falling fairly heavily to peer out…

"What if he went over the edge…?!" she looked to her right, to where the track edged off into whitish-grayness…

"Don't fret, miss…I'm sure he's still here…Lets try moving down to the other end…We'll find him…" Bashir, kindly… "Take my hand and move very cautiously…"

"Holy cow!…"

"Campbell?...That's the third time you've said 'holy cow'…And since, despite Harry Crane Sr.'s suspicions, I'm not Batman…That's quite enough…" Draper sighed at his partner as they sat in the taxi he'd ridden to Campbell's suburban home, now headed back to NYC and the SCDPCO offices…

"Fine…But Don…Stirling's flipped…Really flipped… On this one…Terrorists?... Attacking trains on US soil?... Murdering Americans?..." Campbell nervously shook his head…

"And you directly involved…Unlike last time?" Draper suggested…

"Directly?...Hardly…" Campbell, anxious stare… "I'm just PR for Drharain…How can you say I'm directly involved?…And I was against the whole thing from the start…You're my witness…"

"A Korean War deserter whose company fronts for CIA intel operations?...Not the best witness, Pete…"

"Oh, God…Why didn't I retire when Trudy suggested it?...Don?..."

"There is also the little matter of, how did you put it?... 'Murdering Americans'…?" Draper noted…

"Yeah, that's awful…But we can't be held culpable…Can we?..."

"Depends on how successfully Stirling's people handle the mess…Or how successful we are in preventing it…"

"This was just supposed to be about letting the little prince chase his girl…How did it ever get so crazy?..."

"Like his dad, Stirling takes his job much more seriously than he lets on…He was always ready to go the extreme for this operation…"

"Christ…How do we handle this?...Don?..."

"As always…You mean how do I handle this…" Draper noted… "Well, first, we do what we always do in a crisis…"

Hmmn…

"Peggy isn't gonna like this…" Campbell sighed…


	27. Chapter 27

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XXVIII…

"There's no one but us and the crew on this train…" Stuart frowned, looking around the first car…Empty as the second… "The conductor lied to us, everyone's been taken off…"

"Could be they just got them off…" Martin noted, calmly…But carefully sizing up the situation with shrewd glance about the car…

"And not us?...Why would they leave us?..."

"64,000 dollar question, kid…Sorry, before your time…" smile…

"No, I know about that show…I like to watch the reruns on DVD…" Stuart noted… "You're right…We seem to be the key here…Hmmn…"

"Yeah?..."

"There may be someone who'd like to have us stranded here…Though I thought she'd decided to give it up…"

"That sister of Amy's…" Martin eyed him…

"You know about Charlotte?..." Stuart, surprised…

"The kids mentioned her…But I don't think she could buy off a train crew, kid…This would have to be a bigger outfit…"

"I suppose…And that means Howard's gotta be right…"

"Oh?..."

"We didn't wanna panic everybody but Howard recognized a couple of the repair crew from a list of wanted terrorists…Middle Eastern variety, not local nuts…"

"Really?...The kid keeps lists like that?..."

"On his hard drive…I guess it's only natural…His girl Bernadette seems to think it's a sensible thing, so…"

"These days, I suppose so…Well, that does sound like the sort of outfit that could pull this off…But what would they want with a train in the middle of nowhere…?"

"And why let everyone off but us?..." Stuart eyed the old man…Who suddenly seemed a bit more sharp and alert than he'd given him credit for…

Tougher old bird than I might've guessed, but hey…These are the guys who won world and cold wars and got to the moon…Greatest gen and all that…

"Obvious they want us…One of us at least…" Martin noted… "Alive or dead…Of course the boys are involved in some pretty important work…I know Lenny told us about his runaround with that North Korean girl…"

"Joyce Kim…" Stuart nodded… "You don't suppose the North Koreans want Leonard and cut a deal with these guys?..."

Hmmn…He peered round, half-expecting to see a beautiful young Korean lady in military uniform, riding crop at side suddenly emerge from the shadows…

Well, after the craziness with Charlotte, wouldn't really surprise me…

"I doubt it, kid…This isn't their style…" he smiled at Stuart's puzzled look… "I follow the intelligence magazines and read a lot of spy novels… I used to be in the foreign service, years ago…Office stuff, you know…Like to keep my hand in as I can…"

"Cool…" Stuart nodded…

"Well, since we can't be sure until we know more, lets focus on what we can do and see what's up in the engine car…If we can get there…"

"Sheldon told me before it's usually gated off and locked pretty tight, but at least we should be able to see if anything's going on…"

"Lets have a gander…" Martin nodded… "You never know, we might even be able to get in somehow…"

Assuming my laser cutter is up to the business…

"Jesus…" long sigh…Cough, followed by drag and puff… "I gotta give these things up…Someday…So…" the elderly woman in robe, curlers, slippers, eyed the two men in suits seated in her kitchen…Draper, looking admittedly just a bit frailer these days…But hey, no spring chicken, and he'll never stop being the best-looking man in any room…And Campbell, a bit paunchy…Satisfyingly somewhat bald, despite desperate efforts to conceal… "Our good ole playboy Roger's good ole playboy/spy of a son has dragged us into what could be a major international scandal with Americans murdered as well as a plot to subvert both a Middle Eastern kingdom and the whole international terrorist movement?...Am I getting the details right?..."

"About so…Except to add that I have no real involvement here…" Peter noted, firmly…

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph…" sigh… "Don…" the woman turned to him…

"Stirling, Jr's gone off the deep end, Pegs…" Draper sighed… "We tend to forget like Roger Sr., he's anxious to prove he's more than just a light-weight playboy…He's apparently convinced this is his chance to put his mark on the 'War on Terror' and all means are justified…This could get very messy…"

"You know, you could just come clean about the Korea thing…" she shook her head… "Then we could finally be out of this sort of crap…No one's gonna put you away at this stage of the game…"

"Peggy, I've said I'd do it…Gladly…And take the consequences, which I think there would still be, frankly…But it was you and the other partners who insisted it would do too much damage to the firm…And now, after all we've been involved in…Korea's a very small piece…"

"Not me…" Peter, insistent… "I've never known anything about any of it, except what you two forced me to hear…And I wish to God I'd never heard that…"

"Shut up, Pete…" Peggy frowned… "You profited out of our 'relations' with the government and you're in this with the rest of us…Now lets just settle down and think this out…If we have been involved in some things the government would prefer not to be bandied about, then we clearly have a little leverage…Plus, I assume the Americans to be murdered here are not yet dead?..." she eyed Draper…

"Not so far as we know…"

"Leverage?...What 'leverage'?..." Peter interrupted… "All we have is a good reason for the CIA to add our corpses to the pile…"

"Pete…At our age, a bullet through the head is not necessarily the worst fate one can imagine…" Peggy noted… "And you might remember that we are Mad…Persons…" Grin to Draper… "And that your specialty is PR…"

"Jesus and Holy Krishna…!" Raj, at the door to the next car forward from where he and Howard had attempted to make telephone contact…Jumping back at the desperate pounding on door…Howard hurrying forward to open…

"Leonard?...What the…?"

"Freezzz…" the snow-dusted Leonard choked out…

"Were you outside?...How'd you get in?..."

"Open under…Neath…Climbed up…Freezing…Hands…" gasp…"Another…Me…" he rubbed half-frozen hands desperately…

"Ok, let me…" Howard took the hands…Chaffing them… "I do this for Mom all the time when her circulation's bad in winter…"

"What do you mean, another you?..." Raj asked…

"Saw him…With Sheldon and Amy…And Penny…Two cars up…Almost…Twin…With some kind of Middle East bodyguard…He seemed to know…Amy…"

"Oh, right…" Raj nodded… "So that must be Faisal…"

"Who?..." Howard, rubbing…Leonard, staring…

"Amy Farrah Fowler's grantor…Or at least the head of the agency in Drharain…She put me in touch with him when I lost my funding and had to work with Sheldon…I think she was afraid I'd end up killing him…Which admittedly there was good reason to think…Prince in Drharain or something, I believe…Nice fellow, though my new funding came through before we got down to anything serious…So he really does look like you, eh?..."


	28. Chapter 28

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XXIX…

"Well…" Martin eyed Stuart, both pondering the locked gate at the door of the car connecting to the engine… "I guess this is as far as we go, kid…"

"Yeah…But I don't see anyone up here, either…" Stuart noted…Martin nodding thoughtfully…

"There must be staff in the engine at least…"

"I'd hope so…" Martin noted wryly…

"Hello!...HELLO!..." Stuart yelled… "How's about a little info on what's goin' on…?" he rattled the gate…

"This is getting 'Twilight Zone' now…" he sighed…

"Now there was a great show…Glad you kids still follow it…" Martin smiled… "Well, Stuart, what do you wanna do?...I can hold the fort here if you like and you can go see if you can find that conductor and see if she'll come up here?...She and those so-called repair people seem to be the only staff on the train now…"

"She could be working with those guys Howard fingered…" Stuart noted… "It would make sense they'd either impersonate a conductor or have somebody working for the train…But what could be here that a bunch of terrorists would wanna go to so much trouble for?...They coulda just blown the train while we've been parked if that was all…Why keep up the masquerade?..."

"Process of elimination says they want your fellas…Could be your science boys know something they need to know…" Martin suggested… "And of course, there's Howard…"

"Jewish?...But geesh there must have been other Jewish people on the train…Why just Howard?...Unless…" Stuart hesitated…

"Yeah?..."

"Well, he does do a lot of space science stuff…"

"You mean some terrorist guy might want him to build them a super mirror or something?..." Martin nodded…

"Eh, but they could've grabbed him and been gone…Or grabbed him in Pasadena even easier…Why here and now?...I keep coming back to Sheldon and Amy…" Stuart sighed…

"You mean the wacky sister?..."

"It's the only thing that seems to make sense here…They're the only thing that's new among the guys…And it's gotta be about them… I really doubt anyone's interested in a comic book store owner…" sigh…

"But no one's grabbed Sheldon either…" Martin pointed out… "If wacky sis were the culprit, wouldn't she be hauling him off right now?..."

"What if…?" Stuart pondered… "This is a train on the line to Chicago, if we went back…Could it be they're trying to drag us back, maybe with something on board?...Claiming it's an emergency, which lets them come on board and evacuate people, bringing something?..."

"Sounds like a great spy novel, kid…Or a pretty good comic book adventure…But it does make some sense…"

"Maybe I should try and get that so-called 'conductor' up here?..." Stuart eyed Martin…. "I don't suppose in your line you were ever involved in interrogating people?..."

"Not really…But I heard fellas talk…And I've read a lot of novels…I get your drift, Stuart…And I think we might be able to find a way to put a few questions to the lady…" smile…

"I'd just like to start getting some answers…"

"I'm with you, kid…You think you could persuade the lady to come up here for a chat?...If nothing else we could show her we don't buy her 'evacuation' story and see what she does…"

"I don't want to get you hurt, Mr. Bain…This lady could be a terrorist too…"

"I can handle myself, Stuart…Don't worry…Sides, if she is and this is some kind of 'operation', I think I'd personally rather go down fightin' than sit around doddering like a feeble-minded old fellow…" grin…

"I'll try…" Stuart nodded…

"Just give her the innocent look and tell her the old fellow's still up here…You can tell her I'm having chest pains or something if you think that'll help…" Martin grinned…Clutching at his chest with surprising conviction…

"Whatdya think?..."

"Nice…" nod… "Were you an actor, too?..."

"Eh, it's good for getting attention when you gotta go to the ER when your doc's away…Or for getting ahead in lines…" smile…

"So you got hold of the cops by phone and they didn't believe you?..." Leonard eyed Howard, then Raj…Howard shrugging…

"I guess they get crazy crank calls about terrorists taking over trains all the time…"

Raj beaming…"' crazy crank calls about terrorists taking over trains all the time'… Say that's cute…"

"Yeah…" Howard, curtly… "We'll have to see if my gift of patter gets me last up to be shot…"

"What about this guy who knows Amy?..." Leonard cut in, likewise frowning at Raj… "My twin, so to speak?..."

"Physically about right…Though maybe he dresses a little better…" Raj noted…

"He's an Arabian sheik?...Prince?..."

"Prince and heir to Drharain…" Raj corrected…

"Right…Could these guys be his guys?...His bodyguard phalanx or something?..."

Hmmn…Howard pondered…

"That's possible, though I've no doubt at least two of those guys were wanted of the terrorist persuasion…Say, wait…" he blinked…

"What if this guy has come to collect on his investment in Amy?..."

"What?..." Leonard stared…

"He's invested millions in her work, right?..." Howard looked at Raj… "And you said she told you there was some kind of wacky fringe clause in that?..."

"She had to get technically engaged to him to be approved…Which actually…" Raj paused…

"Engaged?..." Leonard stared… "Amy is engaged to my…?"

Oh, God…And Penny…

Oh, God…

"…'which actually' what?..." Howard urged…

"Well…I checked and it was hooey…At least, it is now…It was once required, in the early years when Drharian went global in the 1960s but it's just a medieval clause no longer invoked…Faisal deliberately inserted it into the grant agreement…" Raj, pensive look… "I never mentioned it to Amy, I thought she'd settled everything there when she and Sheldon finally 'hooked up'…"

"Whoa…" Howard stared…

"God…" Leonard shook his head…

"Sheldon becomes the fatal attraction for an incredibly talented, wealthy, and beautiful world-famous doctor/seductress…" he stared…

"Amy, the object of desire of a Middle East prince who may have terrorists on his payroll…" Howard noted…

"I, the nearsighted, lactose intolerant, affection-starved hobbit, win the heart of a beautiful actress…" Leonard beamed…

"And the infamous Wolowizard…Bearer of some of the first Internet restraining orders…The hand of a beautiful, sweet, genius level microbiologist/nice Catholic girl…" Howard, nodding…

"You know what this means…" Leonard, grinning…

"Apart from us potentially being dog meat dead here, yeah…" Howard… "Hofstadter, we are cool…We are more than cool…We are super cool…We are metallic sunglasses, don't look at us directly without protection, techno super cool…"

Fist bump…

"Leaving me the sole comic relief nerd in our band?..." Raj, distressed look…

"Buddy…Someone has to be…For the contrast…" Howard smiled, patting… "Think of it as a sacred duty to our gallant and merry band…You're Keeper of the Nerd Flame, so to speak…"

"Who's done it with your girl…" arch look…

"Howard!..." Leonard grabbed the raging Wolowitz…


	29. Chapter 29

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XXX…

"Sheldon, I'm worried…Penny and Leonard are still out there…" Amy noted…

"Yes, they are…But I fail to see how Penny demonstrating her faithfulness and devotion to her beloved is cause for your concern…" Sheldon, narrow stare…

"It is kind of bad out there, Dr. Cooper…" Faisal noted… "But, Amy, I'm sure Bashir will find Leonard and bring them both in in just a few minutes…He's extremely capable, I promise…"

"Sheldon?...Couldn't we just take a look and see?..." Amy urged…

We?...Well, in that case…

"Certainly…I hate to think of poor Leonard freezing out there…My fiancée and I will be back in a little while, your…Kingness?..."

"Majesty…" Amy hissed…

"How nice you've studied up on royal protocols, recently…Just Drharainian or are you making a study of them all, in case more eligible royal bachelors become available to provide you a royal cash cow?..."

"Sheldon…Not here, not now…" Amy hissed, annoyed…

"I'd be happy to take a look outside…" Faisal offered… "It might be a little dangerous for Amy…"

"Not at all…I wouldn't hear of it…You are our guest, so to speak…" Sheldon noted… "But I'll take care of Amy…Outside…" He made for the door…Amy following…Opening door…

Dear Lord, it is bad out there…

"Sheldon!...Er, Dr. Cooper…" Faisal tried… "I really don't think Amy should go out there…"

"Hmmn…Fine, you go…" Sheldon nodded…

"Sheldon…" Amy, pulling at him… "Faisal's a king…He can't risk his life looking for two of our friends…"

"Well, excuse me if my ancestors fought a war to allow us to let kings do just that…" Sheldon noted…

"Mine too and against the same people…" Faisal grinned… "It's really ok, Amy…I'll…"

Gun shot…All three staring…

"Was that a gun shot?..." Bernadette looked back…

"Keep down, sweetheart…" Barbara pulled at her…Patting side for her gun…Quickly moving to the rear door while keeping below the windows as Bernadette watched, a bit startled by the elderly woman's agility...

Leonard stopped pulling at the struggling Raj and Howard...They pausing in mid-fight as well…

"Did you hear that?...From the rear cars?..." Leonard eyed them…

"Sounded like a shot!…" Howard..Hurrying to the rear door, opening and peering down… "Raj!...Go back down front to Bernadette and any one else there and see if they're ok…Tell them Leonard and I will try to find out what's up…!"

"We will?..." Leonard stared… "I don't think we should be doing that…"

"Raj, go!..." Howard urged…

"Your Majesty, forgive me…" Kahid, holding bleeding arm…

"Silence, you groveling dog!..." Boulos, brandishing machine gun, shoved him back…Pulling the other three "captives" in and shoving them with Kahid…

"What's going on?..." Faisal eyed the group just returned through the door from which the shooting had been heard…Four including Kahid apparently disarmed and under guard by a grim Boulos and equally grim Omar…

"Quiet, you poodle for Uncle Sam!..." Omar waved gun…

"Traitors in our…!" Kahid began, gasping as Boulos rammed gun butt into stomach…

Omar looking round… "Where are the Americans?..."

What?..."Kahid" paused in rather sincere groan…Nice one, Boulos…But what?...

Drharain...

Office of the American Assistant Consul...

"Hmmn..." Roger looked over at Hamid seated on the office sofa, scotch in hand...

"Let me get this straight...You've decided you want us to call off whatever is going on in America?...Not that anything is 'going on' that I or the US government is officially aware of concerning Drharain except a rather bizarre report of one of your jets going down over Lake Erie and two of the crew bailing out..."

"Mr. Stirling..." Hamid eyed him... "As you know I had as high if not higher hopes for this operation as you...But the costs of proceeding are becoming dangerously high...King Faisal has accepted that Dr. Fowler will never voluntarily be his Queen...It's time we cut our losses and made the best of the situation...We have a potentially useful story in the King as a likeable friend to America, even a romantic figure, going to this trouble to congratulate an old American friend...It's a shame we lose our Yankee Queen but the essential piece, the King, is still..."

"Horse hockey, Hamid...Pardon... " Roger frowned, raising hand... "While I admit nothing, where the hell are your balls?...We've got this thing practically sewed up...All we need to do now is eliminate one minor problem in an effective way and we're done...A little mess to clean up, maybe, but nothing serious..."

"It's time to be frank, my old friend...Murder is a bit harder to clean up in America, Roger..." Hamid sighed... "I fear you are underestimating the difficulties, my friend..."

"Please...Collins tells me alls gone well, train's clear but for our clients...And come on...Half-a-dozen nobodies for the greater good of Drharain and the world?...Hamid, where's the fellow who just had the whole terrorist leadership in Drharain shot before proving such...?"

"Realities, my friend..." Hamid shook his head...

"Hamid, I don't wanna hafta tell upstairs that our Man in Drharain's gone soft and must be replaced..." Roger eyed him... "They can find someone, you know...Faisal has plenty of ambitious cousins, etc with no shot at the throne who'd love to be in your seat...Not as capable as you or we wouldn't be having this conversation but...In a pinch..."

"Excuse me...Sorry..." Gretchen had entered...

"Sweetheart..." Hamid smiled at her...

"Yeah, honey?..." Roger eyed her...

"Collins is on the phone, urgent..." she noted...Glance to Hamid who gave her a noncommittal stare back...

Uh-oh...She sighed inwardly...

"Let me get this, Hamid?...Perhaps it means our business is already successfully concluded and we've no more need for discuss right now..." smile...


	30. Chapter 30

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XXXI…

The sound of shooting had caused Penny and Bashir to exchange startled looks…Bashir immediately tensing and carefully observing the car above and behind them…

"Miss?...I must go and see to his Majesty…Perhaps it would be best if you come back with me?...We can look for Dr. Hofstadter…"

"No, I'll…Amy?..." Penny stared at the figure squirming out from under the car…

"The fully Shamy…" Amy noted…Pulling Sheldon out as she rose…

"His Majesty?..." Bashir, anxiously…

"He was coming but didn't come out…He urged us to leave first…Very kind of him…" Amy, hurriedly as she helped Sheldon up…Looking round nervously…"But he was ok when we headed out…We just all felt we'd best leave and find out what's up later…We have to get Sheldon back inside, he's not used to cold…" anxious stare at said Sheldon now shivering beside her…

"Of course…Let me go and check on his Majesty…Miss, could you help Dr. Fowler and Dr. Cooper to the car further up the train…I'd say the shot came from the car just forward, where the false 'repair crew' went, so you should be safer heading that way…" he pointed to the rear of the train…

"I hafta find Leonard first…" Penny insisted… "Amy, you can take Sheldon back there…"

"Leonard could be that way…" Amy noted… "And I may need help getting back in…"

"Ladies…I think it's best you stay together…Two sets of eyes, Miss …" Bashir noted to Penny's anxious look…

"He's right and soon as we get Sheldon in the car we can split up and go in both directions if we have to…" Amy urged…

"Fine…Come on, Sheldon…" Penny pulled at him…

"Be careful, sir…" Amy urged Bashir…

"Oh, yes, Miss…And you also…" he nodded…Moving to slide back under the car, gun in hand…

"Very cold…" Sheldon noted…

At Barbara's urging…And rather firm command, she and Bernadette had moved back toward the engine car…Encountering the returning Stuart who agreed they should join Martin at the engine car entrance while he sought the female conductor…

"But make sure she's alone…" Barbara insisted… "If anyone's with her, even if they seem friendly, pull back without making contact…You understand, sweetheart?..."

Hmmn…Apart from the 'sweetheart', I'd say I'd been given my orders…Stuart thought but nodded…

Maybe she was in the State Department as well?...

"Lets get back to Martin, dear…" she urged Bernadette… "Stuart, again, be very careful…" Pondering a second…

No, poor dear would more likely shoot himself…Ah, the taser…Yes…

"Here, this is a taser…" she pulled out the taser from her purse… "It's fully charged and should stun anyone it touches, however well-built for at least a minute or two at this setting…Just press this, but please do not aim it at yourself…"

"Uh…Right…" he nodded…Taking taser and hurrying off…

"Martin insisted I carry one after we were mugged years ago in DC…" she explained to the staring Bernadette… "He's far too protective, the old coot…" smile…

"I hear voices…We'd better hold it here a mo…" Howard suggested in whisper as he and Leonard stood by the door to the car just before the car in which Faisal now faced 'Kahid' and the 'traitors'…

"Can't we at least turn on a light?..." Leonard asked...

"And if whoever fired that shot is in there and sees the light turned on?..." Howard sighed..."There's no way to tell who's on the inside of the next car…And we'll have to get through it to reach our guys…If they're still there…"

"We can't leave them alone there…" Leonard insisted, harsh hiss… "Maybe I can go back outside, take a peek…?"

"And if these guys spot you they may shoot you…" Howard noted… "Lets assume the worst and say the shots confirm my terrorist speculation…And that they've dropped the masks…"

"We can't leave Penny and the others in there…There must be something we can do…I thought you had an idea when you brought me up here…"

"That was the idea…" Howard noted, shrugging…

Great…Leonard frowned…

"Hello…I thought we might see or hear something useful…I don't know, maybe we should go back and try another call…"

"You said no one paid any attention…"

"Hopefully the words 'gunshot' and 'terrorists on a train near Chicago' may work in conjunction…Wait…" Howard paused…

"Charlotte…"

"You still think she's involved here?..." Leonard stared… "Cause I gotta say…"

"No…But she has contacts all over…They'd listen to her…And I still have her number…"

"What?..."

"When she was impressed with my bearing up under her torture she slipped it in my pocket while she had me hanging…Yes, I told Bernie…" Howard eyed Leonard's stare… "I just thought it wouldn't hurt to pull it out sometime if Raj's name ever came up again between us…"

Blinking stare…

"It never hurts to have a little competition at hand…" Howard noted… "Anyway, she's a world-famous author/physician and Amy's sister…People will listen if she tells them her sister may be being held hostage on her train by terrorists…Plus she's sure to have slept with someone important in the Illinois and Pennsylvania state governments…"


	31. Chapter 31

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part .)

Part XXXII…

"Ok…" Penny looked at the car before them…Amy leading a shivering Sheldon on the track… "Lets see if you can get in here…I've got to find Leonard…"

"Find Leonard…" Sheldon repeated…Nodding…Shaking as the wind blew, snow falling fairly heavily now…

"You'll be all right…Just let me get you back inside…" Amy scanned for an open window, clambering up toward the car connection…

"Find Leonard…" Sheldon repeated…

"Oh, you poor sweetie, I'm sorry…But we'll get you in in just a minute…" Penny sympathetically...Rubbing his shoulders…

"No…I'm not delirious…Find …Leonard…" he insisted… "I'll…Be…Fine…Go…Now…"

"Oh…" she beamed… "You're the best, Sheldon…Thanks…" she patted him…Hurrying off, leaning against the train's side with one hand to steady herself…

"Damn!..." Amy slammed at the locked rear car door she'd reached… Turning to the next car door on the other side of the car divider…

"Penny!...Bring Sheldon up here!..." she called…Peering back a moment as she fumbled with the other door…

Grrr…Locked as well…

"Penny?!..." she looked down…

"Looking for Leonard…" Sheldon at her side, startling her… "Sorry…I squeezed under and up…I have extremely flexible joints as you know all too well now…" She helped him over the railing…

"Penny left you?..." she frowned…

"I told her to go…" he noted… "Leonard's been out here too long even if his additional body fat should…I'm very cold…" he suddenly finished…

"Oh, sweetheart…" Amy hugged him… "I'm so sorry…I seem to be causing you a great deal of trouble these days between insane sisters and old boyfriends with dangerous followings…"

"Not…A…Tenth…of…What…I…Put..You…Through…Wolowitz'd…Say…" he choked out, shivering…

"No, I'm…Not…Entirely…Clueless…Regards…My…Effect on people…" attempt at arch look…

"Where'd the Americans go, dog?!..." Boulos waved his gun at Faisal who shrugged…

"Sorry, can't help you there…Are you all right?..." he turned to 'Kahid' who was clutching his bleeding arm while pondering…

Nice…Mangled an arm for nothing, it seems…

"I'm fine, Sire…But your friends may be in grave danger outside…"

"Omar!..." Boulos eyed his tall, swarthy, gun-toting companion now "guarding" the other three "prisoners"…

"Go back and tell the others…Have them go out and find the two Americans…Shoot Cooper if they refuse to surrender but don't harm Fowler seriously no matter what…"

"No!..." Faisal cried…Stepping forward…

"Sire, don't…" 'Kahid' urged…

"Another move and I won't wait for a proper setting to execute you, dog!..." Boulos pointed his gun at Faisal…Who paused…

"If all you want is me…" Faisal began…

"They want you and your would-be Queen…" 'Kahid' hastily… "Hostages for the media…"

"She's not my Queen, would-be or otherwise…Just let her and Cooper go and do what you like with me…" Faisal insisted…

"I take no orders from the traitor to his people…" Boulos began…Groaning as a shot cracked…

Lovely…'Kahid' sighed as Boulos crumpled to the floor…Omar whirling to face the window through which the shot had come…No one…

"Find anyone up there?…" Barbara addressed Martin as she and Bernadette reached him at the locked grill entrance to the engine car…

"Not yet…" stare…Glance to Bernadette who peered ahead…

"There must be someone in there…" she noted…Banging at the grill…

"It stands to reason but they're not coming out…." Martin shook his head…

"Maybe we'd better go and help Stuart with the conductor…" Bernadette suggested…

"I don't know, sweetheart…If she's working with the terrorists or whoever, we might all be caught…" Barbara pointed out… "Maybe you should run down and see what you can, and let us know…But don't let her see you…She's sure to be faster than you…" she noted before Martin could object…

"I could do that…" Bernadette nodded… "I'll be right back…"

"Just be careful…Holler if you need us…" Martin urged…She headed back down the train…

"Couldn't you just cut it open?..." Barbara asked him…

"I would've cut the gate but…" Martin eyed her with a hard stare…

"How many…?"

"At least four I could make out using infrared…And definitely in the game…Can't say for sure but our boys from the look of them…"

"Ours?...Sure?..."

Shrug…"Unless Russians are dressing better or Middle East terrorists have the good sense to recruit only tall, pale types and dress them well or the NKs and Chinese are equally employing these days …They could be Mafia but I don't see it here…"

"Idiots…" she frowned… "I mean from the professional sense you could wish we'd've had enough sense to keep our heads down and at least try to keep in civilian pose…Do the kids in Langley ever bother to read our recommendations…?"

"I'm sure they don't…But it does leave the equally and more practically disturbing likelihood that they don't care…"

"Meaning?..." cool stare…

"Meaning the kids may be in a lot of trouble…" Martin sighed… "I mean apart from the 'terrorists holding them and wanting to blow the train or whatever' thing…"

"Umm…"

"Yes?..." the female 'conductor' eyed Raj who'd halted on seeing her on his way to find Bernadette…

"Sir?...You shouldn't be down here…" she insisted, sternly…

"Sir…?" she repeated…Raj attempting to smile…Ummn…

"Hey…" Stuart, giving quick wave as he approached them…

"Fellas…" she looked at each in succession… "You should be staying in your car up front…This will be settled soon…"

"I don't think so…" Stuart shook his head… "Look, I don't know what's up here but there's no one else left on this train and we have reason to believe not all the 'repair crew' are who they say they are…"

"Really…?" dryly… "And who do you think they are?..." she stared back…

This is delightful…Leonard sighed to himself…Staring at the car door…

A bunch of maniacs could be starting to shoot up my girl and friends and here I am would-be superhero hiding behind the door…

On the other hand, without bat- or Iron- man suit handy, even Bruce or Tony would hesitate…

Ok, what do we have here?…A Middle Eastern king who's my twin with an Amy Fowler fixation…Apparently a good one, to come all the way here to see her…

And a bunch of apparent terrorists…Apparently complete with guns, posing as a 'repair crew'…Meaning, Dr. Hofstadter?...

They want something and preferred not to announce their presence at least till they got it…

Jesus, could they really be out to get Amy?...For this guy?...

Well, either they're working for him…Or they want him…And knew he was coming to see Amy…Or planned to grab her to get him to come…

And if he's still in the car further down…

Nothing says he couldn't have slipped out the side and moved down here…

Ok, fifty percent chance they take orders from him…Fifty percent chance they just want to grab him…Either way I learn if they've got or shot Penny…

I can't dodge bullets…But maybe I do have one minor super power…I look like a king…

He went to the door… "Hey!..." he knocked… "This is King Faisal, open up!…"

Backing away…

The door opened after a moment…A head sticking out, peering into the dark car…

"Ali, stay!…Who is that?!...Are you armed?!...Drop your weapon and come here!..." harsh voice…

"I said…" Leonard, turning on light suddenly… "This is King Faisal and I want to see the prisoners!..."

Christ… 'Kadim' stared at the figure…Two of the others in the car just behind him…

"Did he get out?..." one asked 'Kadim'…

"What are you doing there?..." the other called…

"Come back here!..." 'Kadim cried… "Ali, go and check in the back car…" he called to the fourth man still in the rear car… "Tell them Faisal's escaped this way!…Find out if he's armed!..." All three rushing for the closing, now locked door at the front…

Ok…They don't take orders from my twin…Good to know…Leonard nodded…Backing to the next door…

And they've got guns, no question…He noted as the rear door was hit by several bullets at machine gun style speed…Ducking through the front door…


	32. Chapter 32

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part.)

Part XXXIII…

The sound of shooting having given a fair degree of proof to Stuart's hasty identification of whom he and company thought some of the so-called repair crew might be…And aborted any would-be attempt by the female "conductor" to dismiss his claim of known terrorists being on the train…

"All right, go back to the club car, now!..." she ordered Stuart and Raj…Her harsh tone suggesting more than a conductor's concern for passengers during a crisis…

Raj eyeing Stuart who stepped back…

"For your own protection, sir…" she urged, a bit less harsh…Hand by side pocket…

"Holy shit!..." Stuart exclaimed, looking urgently toward the rear, the conductor turning…Whirling back just a moment too late as he rammed the taser Barbara had given him into her side…

Raj jumping as the woman went down after a moment… "Dude?!..."

"I think she has a gun…" Stuart, shaken, standing over her… "She must be working with them…Raj?...Help me here…"

"Is she ok?..." Raj knelt down…

"Breathing…I didn't know what else to do…Look…" Stuart, nervously…Displaying the small automatic pistol he'd pulled from her pocket…

"Conductors might be armed…Some railroad policy we don't know about…" Raj suggested…Shrugging…

"I don't think so…And even if that were the case, she sure didn't seem surprised by the idea that terrorists were shooting up the train…Here…" he offered the gun…Raj eyeing it with trepidation…

"Dude?...Guns and I don't mix well…"

"Well, take the taser and I'll take the gun…" Stuart sighed, offering…

"Either way, Stuart…Somehow I really don't feel safer knowing we're slightly armed…I'm really not one of those guys who is contented by the thought of going out fighting, you know…I really much prefer the concept of not 'going out' at all…"

"I'll search her…Help me find something to tie her up with…Raj?..." frown at the hesitant Raj…

"Ummn…As a brother myself and minus the morality-numbing effect of alcohol I don't like violating a woman's privacy this way…" anxious tone…

"If she's a terrorist planning to kill us or helping such, she's sure violating ours…" Stuart noted…Hmmn…He pulled out a small zipped bag in which he found an id card…

"It…Says…She's an employee…" Raj, 'I told you so' tone, peering at the card…

"Probably the guys shooting have pretty legit-looking cards as well…" Stuart noted… "Nothing else but the gun and this key ring…" he held up ring on which four keys were attached… "If she's a legit employee and all where's her personal stuff…No wallet, no driver's license…"

"Maybe all that's in her locker…Wherever…"

"Be that as it may, I don't think she's for real…" Stuart shook his head… "See if you can find anything to tie her up with…"

"Stuart, isn't this assault and kidnapping?..." Ra j, nervously…

"Well…A little late to consider that now, wouldn't ya say…?" Stuart… "Sides what are they gonna do to me?...Lock me up in a small room with only books, TV, and weird guys for company…Hardly different from my current lifestyle…And I'd be sure of a place to sleep and square meals everyday…Sounds like no great loss to me…"

Hmmn…Raj pondered…

Actually not really all that different from my own current miserable existence…

"Do you think they'd let me have a whiteboard to go on doing my work?..."

"I wouldn't think it'd be a problem…"

"Hok, then…" nod… "Let me see if I can find some duct tape or maybe take the berth drawstrings or something…"

"Hello…Yes, is this the message service for Dr. Charlotte Fowler?...Great, this is Howard Wolowitz, a friend of her sister's…There's been…Wolowitz, yes…W…o…l…o…w…i…t…z…Right…Yeah, an unusual name…"

I imagine there aren't that many like it in France since your grandparents sold mine out to the Nazis...He thought…

"…yes, so could I leave a very, very urgent message for the doctor to call me back as soon as possible…No, I'm not a patient, as I said this involves her sister…A very urgent family matter…Yes, I understand Dr. Fowler is a very busy physician…"

A bat-shit crazy physician who sure found time to run off to the US and nearly kill us all…

"Yes, do you suppose you could forego that first five minutes of your famed European 2-3 hour lunch and let the doctor know her sister desperately needs her to call this number back…And that her brother-in-law Sheldon is likewise in grave need of her help…"

That should get her here by teleporter…

"Thanks…And 'Merde' to you to…Such a lovely language you people have, I wish I understood it…" smile… "Have a nice day…Bye…"

Vous le morceau misérable d'ordures antisemetic, vous êtes renvoyés ainsi...he did not say…

At least one practical advantage there of Charlotte's Sheldon obsession…He reflected…

Even if it may come postmortem…As he looked toward the rear of the car, toward the sound of renewed shooting…Mucho shooting, this time…

An anxious Amy on the connecting platform between the two locked cars, urgently chaffing Sheldon's hands…

"This has to be something to do with Faisal…" she noted… "These people must be after him…Kidnapping or some sort of coup?..."

"Logical…Oh, very cold…" he noted…Eyeing her a moment… "So when this is over and I've recovered a degree of my lost core temperature, you will tell me why you never told me your grantor was Leonard Hofstadter's identical twin and a fabulously wealthy Arab prince who was in love with you…?"

Sounds of renewed shooting…They eyed each other…

"As I say, when this is over…" Sheldon noted…

"What's that…?!" Faisal, anxiously at the renewed shooting…

'Kahid', clutching wounded arm, looking at Omar who gave a quick, slight shrug…

Well, I tole Collins this would almost certainly get messy now…

Ali burst into the car… "Is the King…?" he stared at Faisal…

"I order you to stop shooting!..." Faisal demanded… "If you want me alive…"

"Majesty…" 'Kahid' urged…

"What's going on, Ali…?" Boulos, nervous glance to 'Kahid'…Who frowned at him…

You're not supposed to be looking to me for orders, you idiot…

"The King is still here…!" Ali called through the open door… "Shoot whoever that is!..."

Yep…'Kahid' nodded, internal sigh, another urgent look to Faisal to back off…

Definitely getting messy…


	33. Chapter 33

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part.)

Part XXXIV…

The train car where Faisal was now a prisoner of the "insurgents"…

Ali, having hurried from the forward car to learn as to whether or the King had indeed escaped, based on the claims of whoever had pounded on that car's front door to be the King, had ordered the mysterious whoever's pursuit, and now, seeing Boulos' wound, a bloody graze, Omar applying a restroom towel while keeping gun trained on the King and "prisoners" gave a desperate… "What's going on?..."

"The King's bodyguard…" Boulos noted, waving a hand… "I'm alright but he's out there…Shot me through the window…" Frown at Ali's sudden nervous backing away from said window… "He's gone, if not dead, you idiot…"

"If Bashir is harmed, you people will pay!..." Faisal insisted…

"Majesty, please…" 'Kahid' urged…Glance to Omar…Who got the message…

"Another word from you, Yankee poodle, and you'll join your friend and everyone else at the bottom of the foul lake outside…Ali, what was that about the King being here?..." Omar turned to Ali, still nervously watching the window…

"Hmmn?...Oh, someone claiming to be Faisal banged on the car door, we're after him…"

"That must be Cooper and his friends…" 'Kahid' spoke up…

Uh… "You'd be fools to harm Americans…" he hastily added…

"Silence or you'll go into the lake first!..." Omar, catching on to the instruction…

"Ali!...Go back and get those people…Alive if you can, particularly the woman…"

Ali nodding…Paused…Furried brow…"You mean the Fowler woman, right?...The others…"

"Yes, yes!…The others don't matter…Go!..." Omar pointed…

Uh-boy… 'Kahid' sighed inwardly…Eyeing Faisal…

Yep, wheels are turning…Well, I couldn't choose the tools I work with…Except to see that I got a reasonably sane bunch who'd follow orders reasonably well…

"Amy?...Why do you want Amy?..." Faisal spoke up…

"We told you to be quiet…" Boulos, grimly, adjusting his makeshift bandage… "But perhaps we intend to show the world how we deal with traitors and their American whores…"

Good enough…Nice recovery…. 'Kahid' thought…

"You people are insane…This will never help our people…" Faisal insisted…

"I'm insane?..." Omar came over…Staring at him… "You worthless pig…You dog…You filthy traitor to our people and our faith…"

Uh-oh… 'Kahid' rolled eyes a bit…

Lil too messy if things keep on like this…

"Sire, please…For the sake of your people…" he hissed…

More or less sincerely…

"Oh, my God!..." Bernadette stared at the crumpled form of the conductor…Raj engaged in tying her hands with cords from the berth curtains…Stuart hurrying back from the opposite end of the car to wave her quiet…

"Hey…" Raj, nervous wave… "Uh, this isn't what it may look like…" he eyed the unconscious girl… "Even if you may have heard Wolowitz and Leonard once or twice dropping remarks as to how this would be the only way I could get a girl to go out with me…I mean, you of all people, Bernie…" sheepish look to her frown…

Now you bring that up?...Now?...And in the most tacky possible way?...

What I get for letting an honest desire to help you with your shyness get out of hand, I guess…

And, on the other hand, it helps kill any lingering sparks so, thanks…

"She's ok…We had to…" Stuart hissed… "She's gotta be working with the terrorists…Are the Bains up at the engine car?…"

She nodded…

"What about that shooting?..." she asked…Looking round…

Oh my God!...

"Where's Howard?!...You!..." she whirled on Raj… "You left him with terrorists shooting at him?!..." fists clenched, rage in face…

"What?...No…" Raj, startled at her fury…

There goes my little dream of romance…Fer sure…

"He sent me back…He's trying to phone again…Charlotte this time…"

"Charlotte…?" Bernadette stared… Stuart as well…

"She might believe him…And if she thinks Sheldon's in danger…She's shown she has the contacts, Howard figures…"

Hmmn… "Not bad…" Stuart nodded… "Just so long as she doesn't use it as an excuse to carry out 'Operation Sheldon II'…"

"Not many other options right now…" Raj noted…

"Ok…But where is he?!..." Bernadette, anxiously…

Hard rapping at the rear door of the car… "Hey…Bernie?...Is that you?..." harsh hiss providing immediate revelation… Even as Raj gave a sudden groan as his supposed prisoner lashed out at him…

"Hey!..." he gasped as the girl expertly threw a lock about his neck despite her supposed "bound" hands, arms encircling his neck…

"Raj!..." Bernadette cried…

"Sweetheart, let him go…" Mrs. Bain's firm voice from the front of the car…Gun drawn…"Now…"

"Amy…I just want you to know…If among the hypothermia from this cold, the likelihood of a fatal disease overwhelming my compromised immune system, flying bullets, and possible terrorist bombs, any one of these leads to my death and you should survive…Unlikely given the combination of threats…"

"Sheldon, please…"

"I just want you to know that while I would be willing to wave the clause from our Relationship Agreement renewed in our Marital Agreement regarding the personal responsibility of either partner in the injury, death, and/or dismemberment…My mother will have your head on a platter so I would avoid her like the plague at my funeral and not, under any circumstances, accept her invitation to travel to East Texas…"

"Understood…Thank you for the warning, I'll bear it in mind…" Amy nodded… "Don't talk like that…" Anxious look…

"Particularly with Faisal…Or Leonard for that matter…"

"Sheldon…" frown…Then puzzled look… "Leonard?...Why, Leonard?..." Stare… "You tole your mother something about Leonard…And me?..."

Ummn…

"Very cold…"

"Never mind the cold…" glare… "What did you tell my future mother-in-law about your roommate and me?..."

Uh… "Nothing…I just may have mentioned that wedding he took you to…"

"Sheldon…"

"Sorry…Mama sensed something was wrong when I called her that night to ask if Daddy was right and all women were fickle and likely to stab a man in the back with their best friends the moment they leave the house…"

"Well that explains why she was staring at me at the party when Leonard and I danced…" sigh…

"I may also have mentioned something about Stuart…"

"Great…So now I have a 'reputation' with my soon-to-be mother-in-law…"

Eyeing her sudden smile… "What?"

"Kinda titillating actually…I guess there really is a little of the Fowler girls' dark side in me…" nervous chuckle… "Now we really need to get back inside…"

"Hey!..." Penny's voice… "Is Leonard with you?!..." They looked to see her crawling up to them…

Hmmn… "You know I think I have an effective counter strategy for dealing with your mother…" Amy noted, eyeing Penny…

"You wouldn't dare…" Sheldon gulped… "That was Charlotte's evil plan…"

"'Oh, Mother…I believed Sheldon when he said he and Penny were 'just friends'…Even when I found out she'd sung 'Soft Kitty' to him…" woebegone look…

"Amy Farrah Fowler?...What am I marrying?..."

"A better actress than your roommate's girlfriend…Just promise me you'll straighten things out with Mama…"

"You…Vixen…Very well…"

"But you can let her think what she likes about Stuart…No need not to let her think you didn't have a little competition…"

Grin to his stare…


	34. Chapter 34

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part.)

Part XXXV…

Sheldon showing a distinct blue hue to lips, Amy was perturbed by Penny's intention of immediately returning to her search for Leonard…

"We have to get Sheldon inside!…" Amy insisted… "He has no available body fat for this kind of weather…"

The newly returned Penny, shaking head, looking round frantically… "I hafta find Leonard!…He's been out here too long!…"

"Penny, I can't get him in without help!…Help me get him in and I'll help you search…"

"Very, very cold…" Sheldon shivered…

"Leonard!...LEONARD!..." Penny cried… "Oh, God!..."

"Penny!..." Amy tried…Grabbing at her…

"Goddamn you!...Leonard's out here somewhere…!...He may be hurt!..." Penny, furious… "You get Sheldon inside, he'll be ok!..."

"Penny, you've looked for Leonard all over here…Either he's back in the train or…Please help me save Sheldon…"

"Don't you say that!...Don't you say that!..." Penny cried, shaking her off… "He's ok, he's gotta be ok!...Leonard!..."

"Undercarriage…" Sheldon gasped out…

"What?..." Amy stared at him…

"Leonard was under the train…If…Can't see him…Must be in there…Less windy…Maybe way…In…"

"Right…" Amy nodded… "Come on, Penny…Help me get him down to the undercarriage…If Leonard's still out here, he must be holed up under the train there…Penny?!..."

"Ok…" Penny grabbed at Sheldon's hand… "Come on...!"

"Leonard's…ok…" Sheldon choked out, shivering…As the girls helped him over the railing and slowly down to the tracks… "Not a first…Rate…Theoretician…But…Knows his…Real world…Physics…"

"Thanks…" Penny, hastily glancing round…

"Under…" Sheldon, pointing…

"Ok…Here we go…" Amy pulled him down and under… "Penny, it's less windy here…I'm sure Leonard would have realized it…Come on…" she tugged at the still standing, anxious Penny…

"Yeah…Ok…"

"Sheldon, sweetheart…You said there might be a way in?..." Amy had crawled forward to him…Penny now just behind…

"Leonard?!..." she called…

"Maybe…Next car…Or access panel…" Sheldon gasped out…

"Penny!...Sheldon thinks we can get in at the next car!...Or there may be an access as we move down…We're going to crawl down …Just watch out in case the train shows any signs of moving again…!" Amy hissed back to her…

"Amy?!...What if he's gone over?!..."

"Leonard's much too sure-footed…His hobbity body's center of mass is low to the ground…He's fine, I'm sure…Come on, Penny…If he's down here, he can only be up ahead…"

"Yeah…Sheldon?!...Do you see him?!...Sheldon?!..."

"Keep moving!..." Amy urged… "Sheldon, anything?..."

"Panel!..." he called…

"What?!..." Penny cried…

"There's an open panel ahead!...Leonard must have opened it!..." Amy called back… "Sheldon?!...Can you make it?!...Here, I'll push you…Penny?!..." she was startled by Penny's sudden grab…

Hmmn…Once I might have been mildly titillated by such a move from my bestie…But given Sheldon and I having moved on in our relationship…

"Outta my way!...Sorry…" Penny pushing past… "Sheldon!...Is he there?!...Sheldon?!..."

Raj, Stuart, and Bernadette, as well as the frowning conductor, staring at Mrs. Bain's pistol in hand…

"Let him go, dear…" she eyed the conductor now holding Raj…Who carefully released him…

"Mrs. Bain?..." Bernadette eyed the gun…

"Sorry to frighten you, dear…Just something Martin makes me keep handy in case of trouble…" Barbara noted smoothly…

"So…You know a bit more about all this than you've told us, young lady…" she eyed the conductor who stared back…Slight blink…Aunt Barb?...

"She's one of the terrorists, we're pretty sure…" Stuart noted…

"That's ridiculous…" the conductor frowned… "You people are paranoid…" glance to Barbara…

"I hardly think so, dear…" she shook her head, keeping gun steady… "You know more than you've said and my young friends here have circumstantial evidence on their side…If you can prove your innocence, nows the time to say…"

Time to spill it, sweetheart…At least what safely can be…Her look said…

"I work for the government…Not these guys…" the conductor frowned… "I'm here to protect King Faisal…We'd had information an attempt might be made to use Dr. Fowler to lure him into the hands of a terrorist cell…"

Not bad…And close enough…Barbara, careful stare to the conductor…

Auntie, pushin' it…She eyed Barbara…

"But you were with them…" Raj noted…

"They claimed to be service crew, I went along…Should I have tried to shoot it out with them?..." the girl frowned at him…

"What about the other passengers?..." Stuart asked…

"Evacuated via the front car…But the front two passenger cars were our people anyway…We did a shift at the last two stops…"

"But…" Raj, puzzled…

"Not trained field staff, honey…Most of us are trained for intelligence gathering, not for this, at least not for a shootout…Our armed people are holding the engine car…We pulled everyone else out after the forced stop when the tracks were blocked up ahead…"

"But the King's unguarded…Back there…" Raj pointed…

"We didn't know when he'd be showing…We didn't wanna tip our hand…" shrug… "But is the King being held, now?..."

"Judging by that shooting…"Bernadette noted…"Held or dead…"

"All right, then…Let me go up front and get our people…They'll deal with these guys…"

"I don't like this…I don't trust her…Say…What about Mr. Bain?..." Bernadette, anxiously… "He's up there alone with the other…Armed?..." Ummn…She broke off, glance to Barbara, who seemed remarkably composed at the notion…

"Martin'll be all right, dear…They won't want to hurt an old man…" she patted her…

"Ok, then what about Howie?...He's…"

"Hey!..." Howard's voice at the rear of the car… "Bernie?...Ya wanna let me in?..."

"Oh, thank you, Yahweh!..." she cried, racing for the door…

It rubs off…Raj nodded thoughtfully…

"Bernadette, careful!..." Barbara called…Raising gun…

"They might be holding him…" she explained to Stuart…

Hmmn…True enough…

And pretty level-headedly cool for such a sweet old lady…He thought…

Catching just the slightest trace of mischievous smile in her glance at him…

"No, he's ok!..." Bernadette pulled Howard in… "You are ok, right?...No one's got a rifle on you?..."

Uh… "No…" he stared…

Whoa…He caught sight of Barbara, gun pointed…And the conductor, closely watched by Raj with taser in hand again…

"Sorry, Howard…" warm smile… "Just taking precautions…" Barbara lowered her gun… "Everything all right?..."

"Well…" he began…

Sound of machine gun shots…

"We'll take that as a no…" Barbara nodded… "Everyone!...Time to move forward!..."

I wonder…Are they shooting at me because they think I'm the King or…Leonard pondered as he hurried forward…Slamming and locking the door to the car behind him…Sounds of shooting as he raced to the front…

Good news, I should be back with the guys any moment…

Bad news, I should be back with the guys any moment…With my lil' hunting party at my heels and no train left…

And I don't think outside again is an option…Somehow I don't see myself successfully jumping one of these guys as he comes out…

On the other hand, if Penny were with me…

I gotta look into those self-defense classes…Even if she thinks I'm more likely to hurt myself…

Shooting from the rear…Voices, angry voices…

If they do think I'm the King, escaped, that bit about uneasy heads is looking pretty true…

"You reached Charlotte…" Bernadette eyed Howard… "And?..."

"She was very pleased to hear from us…I really think she wants to make amends…"

"Howard…You do realize…If we weren't in danger…That remark…"

"Right, I get it…" he nodded… "But I don't mean anything by it…Anyway, she said she'd try to find out what's going on and call the police…And someone please ask Amy to let her ashes be scattered with hers and Sheldon's if we seem likely to be killed tonight?"

The conductor eyeing Barbara…

Lovely…Outside involvement…

"We'd better get moving to the front car, dears…" Barbara spoke up… "I think it's the safest option…And I am worried about Martin, a little…"

"Oh, now…" Martin's voice, from the front door… "Barb…"

All turned to see him leading four men in dark suits, he holding gun on them…

Like the day would come when a few youngsters like these could get the better of me…His arch look to Barbara…

Showoff…Her return look…

Collins, the lead man, looking quite embarrassed…


	35. Chapter 35

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part.)

Part XXXVI…

"Quiet!..." Bashir hissed at Penny as she climbed up into the car…Staring at his pointed gun…

"We're just between the men with the king and the men pursuing Dr. Hofstadter…" he whispered…

"Leonard?!...Pursuing!..." Penny began, gurgling as Bashir moved deftly to cover her mouth, waving at the climbing Amy at the open panel to be silent…

"You must be quiet!..." he insisted, harshly… "The King's life and your friends' are all in danger!…Do you understand?..."

Penny…Calming a hair, nodding…As Amy helped the shivering Sheldon in…

"All right…" Bashir nodded, releasing…

"But…Leonard…" Penny hissed…

"They're still chasing him so he's still alive…If you want to save him, you must do as I say…Now, Dr. Fowler, how is Dr. Cooper?..." he turned to Amy, intense whisper…

"F…Fine…" Sheldon choked out…

"He'll be all right, I think…I'll just need to provide a little body heat…" Amy noted…

Amy?... Penny frowned at her friend's slight sly grin…Now?...You want to get raunchy, now?...

"Miss?..." Bashir turned back to Penny… "Can you use a gun?..."

"Nebraska born and raised…" she gave faint smile, reaching for the pistol he offered…

"Leonard, first…" she eyed him, insistent…

"Now maybe you people would care to explain what's going on here?..." Martin addressed Collins…Gun firmly trained…

Old man…Collins glared… Your pension is in serious jeopardy…

As is my career, given you took me and three of my best on the drop…And this operation is heading quickly for Crapper City…

"I already told them, sir…" the conductor, cutting in hastily… "At least the bare outline as to we having word the King was at risk…It was unavoidable…"

"Right…" Collins sighed… "Look you people, we are government agents and this is a national security matter…If you'll let me, I can show you my id…"

"Keep your hands where I can see 'em, we'll take your word for it…" Martin replied… "I doubt you're terrorists so there's little else but government men you could be…"

Bernadette, Raj, Howard, Stuart glancing from Martin to Barbara, who still kept watch over the conductor with her gun firmly gripped…

Interesting side to Sheldon's and Leonard's elderly, sweet neighbors…

"If this just to protect the King, where are the SWAT teams?...And why so hush-hush?...You're endangering a lot of innocent people…." Raj frowned… "I don't mean to recharge the old, unfortunate friction between my native land and its neighbor but this is something I've expected the old Pakistani dictatorship to have pulled, not Americans…"

"We have our operational strategy and it's important not to let the terrorist enemy cause panic…" Collins, smoothly… "Now, if you'd just let us deal with things…"

As in, begin the clean-up operation…

"I think we'd prefer to keep a handle on this situation, young man." Barbara, quietly. "Your methods seem a bit risky to the public, especially our young friends here…"

Barbara…I'd tread very lightly here…Collins frowned…

Two more elderly corpses aren't likely to make a major difference here in terms of PR, you know…

"How do you suppose they knew the King was coming?..." Penny hissed to Bashir as they carefully made their way to the front door of the car…Behind them, Amy anxiously rubbing and chaffing the near-frozen Sheldon…

"Someone back home obviously…Possibly they had surveillance on him…" frown… "But I suspect I know who's behind this…"

"What about the guy who say they were here to protect the King?..."

"Equally suspicious…And not to be trusted…" Bashir shook his head… "No one knew the King was coming, even His Majesty, until we actually left…There's something suspicious about the whole thing, it's too well organized for an ad hoc attempt…"

Hmmn…

"But if Faisal wasn't coming until he suddenly decided…" Penny frowned…As they crouched by the car's front door… "They couldn't have been planning to come after him when they came out here…It must have been…"

She and Bashir looked at each other…

Then at Amy, still rubbing Sheldon…Despite his protests that he was now quite defrosted…

"Amy?...They're after Amy?..." Penny blinked…

"At least until they learned His Majesty was on his way…" Bashir nodded…

"But why…?" Oh….Penny stared…

"They thought she was still his 'fiancee'?...They wanted to grab her…?"

"Possibly…" Bashir nodded… "And the King would have been motivated to protect her…But this operation is proceeding too smoothly for the usual terrorist style…The passengers removed without any fuss or panic, the phony repair crew…And they have too much access to privileged information if they know about Dr. Fowler's relationship to the King…Stay back, miss…" he opened the door carefully…

"All right, they must be further up in the train…" he closed the door… "Lets go check the other end…"

"Sure, but…So?..." Penny eyed him…

"So, I'd say it has CIA fingerprints all over it…" Bashir, hard stare…

C.I…A? Penny mouthed…

Both again staring down at Amy…

"Sweetness…I think you're loosening my onion-thin skin…" Sheldon noted to the eagerly rubbing Amy…Both glancing up the car to the staring duo before them…

"'Sup?" Sheldon, casually…


	36. Chapter 36

"The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish…"

Summary: Nearing her wedding day, Amy is reminded of a previous engagement…Follows the action of "Gran Mag", pre "The Wolowitz Enigma"…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag" the first tale in this particular series. "Flowers for Sheldon" however is not a part.)

Part XXXVII…

"So…CIA?…NSA?...Lord knows you're not FBI or State…" Howard eyed Collins who frowned at him…

"And I gotta tell ya…This 'we're here to stop a terrorist group' thing sounds like…Raj?..." he turned…

"Horse-hockey…" Raj nodded… "No terrorists trying to kill or grab an important person like the King…Even assuming they could know he'd decided to come and give Amy and Sheldon his blessing…Would act like these guys…Elaborate deception, politely allow all passengers…But us?…To be evacuated…These fellas, whoever they are, aren't your garden variety terrorists…"

"And you want us to believe you, with these five, counting your phony conductor here…Are all the government would send in to stop a group trying to kill a head of state after getting word?..." Howard, to Collins… "I know some of these guys are known terrorists but this isn't some crazy act of jihad…This was very well planned and you people are much too unbothered…Mr. Bain?..." he turned to Martin… "This smell to you?..."

"Stinks, Howard…" Martin nodded…

"Listen to me…" Collins, face flushing… "You people are getting involved in something you have no business..."

"No business?...Really?..." Howard stared… "You just sorta missed us, huh, getting people off the train?..."

"I'm telling you people for the last time…" Collins began…

"You're right, Howie…" Bernadette cut him off… "There's something fishy here…These people knew the king was coming…" she turned to Collins…. "How could they know?...And why wouldn't the government send in the troops, the state police…"

"We're trying to prevent panic, I've told you that, ma'am…" Collins tried…

"And gee, so are the terrorists, it seems…Nice of them…Terror without terror?..." Howard noted… "What is up here?...Is this an assassination?...You brought these people in, you're just here to observe, aren't you?...What, was it a deal?...Is Faisal a little too independent for you and this is a nice, quiet place to take him out?..."

"He wants Amy, too…Else we'd be dead or evacuated…" Raj, suddenly… "That's why we're still here…Amy…Which means this isn't an assassination…At least not of a king…"

"Oh my God…" Bernadette, trembling…Furious, to Collins… "You bastards!...You're trying to kill Sheldon!..."

Gee...Howard pondered…

To think not so long ago some of us would have been willing members of that club…

"Majesty…" the wounded 'Kahid' hissed to Faisal from the seats they were now being kept to, guns pointed at them…

"You've got to leave that poor man be!..." Faisal hollered at Boulos… "Dr. Hofstadter's just trying to help protect his friends…"

"Majesty…You must take care…" "Kahid" urged…

"You dog!..." Boulos, glancing at 'Kahid' while nursing wound a bit… "If I chose to kill that Yankee worm or you, I will without hesitation…!"

Ok, boss?...

Lets not get carried away, Boulos…Returned glance…Men can lose sight of the goal in the heat of battle and we don't want to kill the golden goose just yet…

"Sire…Please…" 'Kahid'…

"And you, traitor to our people…I should have you shot right now…" glare to 'Kahid'…

And, now…?

The hard slap?…Come on, Boulos…I need the sympathy vote here…

Oh…Groan at the kick to leg…

Ok…Good enough…

"Let him alone!..." Faisal, furious… "The man's just trying to protect me…"

Oh, yeah…Glance to Boulos, slightest of nods…

Well done, kid…

"Quiet the both of you or I'll kill him right now!..." Boulos…Waving to one of the others with first aid kit…

Could use a little medication right now…

"This is insane…You can't get away now…And that looks nasty…" Faisal eyed Boulos' wound…

"I'll live…Perhaps you won't…Now be quiet!..."

"Promise me Dr. Hofstadter will be spared and I will…Otherwise, you may as well kill me right now…"

Hmmn…Two of the other team members eyed each other…

A little of the old man in the kid after all…Who knew?...

"I…" groan… "Have no need to deal with you, dog…"

"The American does look exactly like the King, more or less…" 'Kahid' cut in… "He could be useful to you…"

Boulos, eyeing…

Oh?...Well should I…? Uncertain look…

'Kahid', hard stare…Idiot…You don't take orders from me…You're the 'leader', remember?...

"If he surrenders, I'll have him brought here…Now, sit quietly and give us no more trouble…!" Boulos, waving for help to a seat… "Omar, go and tell the others!...I want the 'imitation king' alive!...Go!" Omar, tall and bearded, near the front of the car, lowering gun and heading out…

Hmmn….Is a bit nasty…Boulos eyed the wound…

"Better take me to the next car and sew this up…" he hissed to the nearest team member, currently training gun on Faisal… "Keep an eye on them!" he ordered the others, the first helping him to the car door…

"Thanks…" Faisal whispered…

"It should buy the boy some time, with luck…" 'Kahid' nodded…Noticing Faisal glancing at the two remaining guards…

Hmmn…Kid is a bit more of a handful than Stirling thought…Best to take on the role of wise counselor and friend urging minimal loss of life…For now…

A blinking Sheldon had just received the same conclusion from Bashir and Penny that Bernadette had independently arrived at…

"Kill…Me?..." he stared…

"Kill…Sheldon?..." Amy, still rubbing, blinked…Eyes narrowing instantly…

"They're not here to kill the King…They could've done that immediately…" Bashir noted… "They clearly wanted everyone but you and your friends off the train…There's only one possible reason for that…They want Dr. Fowler with the King…Perhaps as a hostage to get him to do their bidding, I don't know…But logically, you are the one in danger, Dr. Cooper…"

"Faisal didn't come to wish me well, did he?..." Amy, quietly… "He came to propose…?"

Sigh… "He wanted to make his case, just in case there was a last chance for him…My friend the King is a romantic, I'm afraid…And much to my discredit, I encouraged him in that, if only that he could have his chance, see you were happy in your choice, and resign himself…But his intentions were strictly honorable, I assure you, Doctors…"

"And they want me with him?...These people, whoever they are?...Why?..."

"As I say, I don't know for sure…You would make a fine hostage to force him to do their bidding…"

"You said you could guess who was behind this back home?..." Penny, frowning…

"Yes…The Deputy Prime Minister, the late King's top advisor…He's the most likely source of information for the group acting here…He's been after control of the nation for years, checked only by the old king…I should have realized he'd even stoop to working with terrorists…" Bashir paused…

"And he has excellent contacts with the CIA…"

"What?..." Amy to Sheldon's glare…

"Propose…?" he asked, coldly…

"Sheldon, we're talking about your life being in danger…" she tried…

"Propose…?" he repeated, grimly…

Oh…Fine…Shrugging wave of hands…

"He liked me…What do you want me to say, Sheldon?...You must have seen that when you met him…"

"You lied to me…" grim stare…Shaking head… "Amy Farrah Fowler, you lied to me…"

"I needed his money to stay near you at Cal Tech…What would you've done?...You were the one who urged Leonard to prostitute himself for Science…I did it for Science and true Love…And it's not like I accepted his proposal…He saw I loved you and got the message…If I lied to anyone, I lied to him, though I never said I loved him…And while I'm sorry to have hurt him…I would do it again to be able to have my chance with you…Sheldon, I did it for you…" she eyed him…Calm stare…

"Dr. Cooper, the King never excepted anything from Dr. Fowler except a hope that she might hear him out…And I can tell you, he views you as the luckiest of men…" Bashir, gently… "Surely you can grant him the privilege of having the greatness of heart to appreciate Dr. Fowler as you do…And spare a little pity for the man who knows all too well he never had a chance…"

"In any case, practical considerations first…" Amy, calmly… "It seems they want me and would like to eliminate Sheldon…And they now have the King…And you think the CIA is involved, doubtless not to assist us?..." she eyed Bashir…

"I think very much not…" he nodded…

"Well, since I'll human shield Sheldon that worry is for the moment eliminated…Until they decide it's no longer worth it to try and use me with Faisal…Our concern now is Faisal…And our friends…"


	37. Chapter 37

Pardon, this and other tales may sit a bit as I must go abroad for work for a while and can't say as to access. I will try to squeeze in more as I can. Yours, Robert Gertz


End file.
